Step children and inheritance

Should they not just get 1/4 of that each seeing as he has 4 children.

That’s good that you have made a decision. That seems like a good split. Will you let them all know?

So did their dad have anything in the pot?
My DH died and there was nothing other than the equity in our house and life insurance. His kids got a share of the life insurance (as did his ex wife). So other than the equity, which was enough for me to buy a much smaller house outright (my kids were 4 & 6, the step kids were 19 & 21 at the time) there was only personal effects, and the most valuable being a car which I gave to eldest stepson.
I then inherited from my mother a few years later.
My stepsons are both married with children, one to a very well off family. In writing my will I feel no obligation to leave them anything - they got their inheritance and will inherit from their mother, who was a SAHM so all her wealth (she owns a house outright in London) was what she got in the divorce.
I think what you inherited from YOUR Parents should go to your children, and anything in the estate from your DH should then be shared equally between all the kids.

Yup. I have first hand experience of this.

To be fair, most adults don’t leave their kids anything.

it’s usually left to a spouse, with kids only inheriting if the spouse predeceases.

my dad left me nothing of his (large) estate. It all went to my mum.

there are no guarantees. Even if you leave everything to your child’s other parent, no guarantee they won’t remarry. No guarantee everything won’t be eaten up in care home fees. No guarantee the child’s other parent won’t blow through the whole lot, like my mum did.

most people want their spouse taken care of. Most women don’t have great pensions and savings, and could be left homeless and skint if cut out of a will. Most trust their spouse to do the right thing.

His expectation is for her to leave it to us if there’s any left when she dies. She hasn’t got kids herself. She will go into care when he dies because she has made herself helpless - won’t drive, cook, leave the house on her own etc. So we think it will all go. Dad was complicit in making her this way so he would give her everything from guilt.

My brother reckons she’ll remarry quick enough and it’ll all get squandered somehow.

Im in a decent financial position - not rich, not poor, but a couple of my siblings have lots of debt so I know they are resentful.

I would have thought this as well

Sorry, they actually separate our estate in half so that each of our share/s goes in trust to our children. Spouse gets life interest. We were advised they should stop this situation ever happening though entered into years ago shortly after DC1.

Dad’s share equally between all kids
Your share between your kids

Life interests are not without problems. They are not cheap to administer. There are problems with the responsibility for repairs or when the person with the life interest wants to downsize to a more manageable property or go into a care home. OP was married for over 40 years and contributed substantially to the marital assets. I do not think a life interest is normally appropriate for somebody married for a substantial number of years. Particularly mean spouses often terminated them if the widow remarried. I knew of a solicitor who would draft wills with life interests for the wife only if the husband was prepared to bring his wife into the office and explain to her why she was only getting a life interest. I am not sure if anybody actually took him up on the offer.

This is quite shocking. Has your dad given a reason for leaving nothing to his children?
Does he or do you expect that she’d eventually leave money to you? Does she have her own children?

It isn’t solved though is it if i need to pay for extended care.

Yes, this is what I actually agree with, although percentages were discussed between OP and husband. Definitely would not give them more. Seems unfair to the children OP and husband had together, and they only inherit from one set of parents.

12.5% would be overly generous as the dad already gave away a house to his ex-wife. And op brought way more money into the current house purchase.

But if you want to give 12.5% like ypu discussed thats the most easily understood amount.

I wouldnt give any more than this.

But like someone else said above.

If there are specific items that mean more to certain individuals exclude these and will them directly.

Exactly this .

I meant that they will have an inheritance from their mother and from a portion of their late father's estate (which has been left to the OP). I might have missed a post, but I was under the impression that their actual mother is still alive?

To clarify: the OP wants to make sure that they're not disinherited. Any inheritance should only be a share of their late father's estate - the same amount for each of them and his children by the OP.

They don't need to inherit any of the money that was passed to the OP by her parents, but should have a share of the money that was passed to her by her husband.

I actually agree with your husband.

• his wife got the house, he walked away with nothing
• you had a bigger house deposit
• he supported the kids through uni anyway (was he able to do this for the kids you had together?
• you have built what you have together, over 40 years.
• and I think you should definitely ring fence the inheritance from your family for your own children.

At the end of the day, his kids will have a house to inherit from their mother, and a payment from your estate (and it is YOURS). Your kids inherit only from one. If their mother fails to protect them in a will, that's on her, not on you. Don’t feel guilty, and don’t do your own kids an injustice because of guilt.

I would go along with the amount you have discussed with him, and make sure that all the details are with the solicitor (including that you put a bigger deposit into the family home, that their mother got the house and it’s up to her to protect it for her kids, that their father supported them, that as it is, the step kids will inherit from 2 estates, your kids inherit just from one. And that it was discussed before he died. All the details.).

And as you say, if you need care, there may be little left, and your kids, who may have had to step in to help you, will get even less.

It's the person they replied to.

The person was saying the husband screwed the kids over by getting married and now they will have to wait longer for their inheritance.

Mirror wills can be changed at any time even before one of the spouses pass away.

I wouldnt rely on anyone else to give money to my kids.

Well we know already they won't be inheriting from one of their parents so this makes no sense.

If he's lives as a monk in a monastery.

He was allowed to live his life and get married or even blow all his cash on drugs. The kids aren't entitled to anything.

I mean how dare he have 2 more kids???!
He just halved their inheritance 🙄

Take out your parents contribution and split what’s left into 2 then that goes 4 ways into equal amounts. So partners money to each of his 4 children. Your half goes 2 ways to your kids. Step children have another parent and 2 sets of grandparents of there own who won’t be giving your kids anything.