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AIBU?

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Original poster

There muat be some way of getting help with medical issues.

36 replies

ColdandConfused · 05/02/2026 21:40

What can someone do if they are not getting the help they need with a medical issues? My neighbour is really struggling and in pain and can't get the GP to support her. I haven't pried into the details but its a gynae issue.

From what I understand she tried for months to get a diagnosis for what is going on. She finally got a diagnosis and was given treatment but that made things worse. After more months of trying to get an appointment to find out what's going on, in desperation, she got a private appointment. The private consultant said the treatment is causing harm and making things worse and she needs to stop treatment and get a biopsy. She can't afford that privately so was told to go back to the GP with a letter and to get a referral. The GP has stated they won't follow any kind of private advice. So now she is stuck in limbo, in pain, with no idea what to do next.

Is there anyone she could turn to to help her fight her case? She's in pain and no one seems to be acknowledging that. And now shes worried the treatment has caused further long term damage. It certainly hasn't helped. What can she do?? I can understand that the NHS won't just follow a private diagnosis. But they don't seem willing to help at all even with just showing some compassion that a woman is in pain.

OP posts:
Original poster
ColdandConfused · 05/02/2026 23:37

Catza · 05/02/2026 22:34

It's quite unusual for a GP not to accept private consultant recommendations but they are bound by NICE guidelines and specialist referral criteria which is where the problem likely lies. I think you probably haven't got the full picture and it could be out of GP's hands. Either way, if the treatment is not working, it should be reviewed. And your friend may want to ask for a pain clinic referral. If nothing else could be done about the condition itself, then, at least, her pain could be better managed.

I almost certainly don't have the whole picture. I've not really asked too many questions as its such a personal matter.
She only went private because she couldn't get the appointment to review her treatment.
I think she would happily accept an appointment to help manage the pain. But they seem to have been quite dismissive of that. The GP had said they would have to call the specialist clinic that gave the diagnosis. That sounds fair enough but they haven't made it sound like she js likely to get an appointment with anyone. And today she's tried to contact the GP and has been cut off. multiple times.

OP posts:
Original poster
ColdandConfused · 05/02/2026 23:25

Endofyear · 05/02/2026 22:10

She could see another GP in the practice or move to another GP practice? At mine, there is one GP who is the go-to on Women's Health and she holds regular menopause clinics etc.

I'm not sure how easy moving GP is. I think she is concerned that she might need to move further afield to get help as our area is underfunded. I wondered about her registering where her parents live. Not sure what that involves though. But she did say a friend of hers in another part of the country has had the same diagnosis and it was only weeks for appointments and effective treatment.

OP posts:
Barnbrack · 05/02/2026 23:21

Not all medical conditions can be treated, or resolved or cured.

Some illnesses are horrific and yet there is no known way to improve things, also sometimes someone thinks 1 condition is the main cause of their issues when actually it's another.

It's very likely that this woman's medical team know a lot more about what is happening with her than you do.

Original poster
ColdandConfused · 05/02/2026 23:19

Verytall · 05/02/2026 22:05

Could she get a second opinion?
Or would the new 'Jess' rule' apply, where the situation should be looked at again if someone has presented 3 times with the same or progressive symptoms and no clear working diagnosis?

Well i think that's why she went private. The treatment was making her worse and she was desperate for them to review but nothing was happening.
I don't know what the Jess rule is, but I'll look it up. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
ColdandConfused · 05/02/2026 23:16

Orangesandlemons77 · 05/02/2026 21:51

Complain to the practice manager perhaps?

I think she has. But i will recommend if not

OP posts:
Georgiepud · 05/02/2026 23:07

I do know my GP was not allowed to convert a private prescription to an NHS one for me, but I've never experienced him refusing to follow a private consultant's advice. That sounds very strange.
Can your neighbour request an appointment with a different GP in the practice? Also, private consultants usually send quite clear reports of their diagnoses to both patient and GP. I would get your neighbour to make a copy of hers, underline the important bits in red, and put it down on the desk when speaking to the GP.

Allthesnowallthetime · 05/02/2026 22:42

Who made the diagnosis? GP or gynaecologist? Could she ask for an NHS gyn referral for review (I know the waiting lists are long)?

I agree with pain clinic referral if GP can't manage her pain. I found them really helpful personally when I had difficult to manage pain

Catza · 05/02/2026 22:34

It's quite unusual for a GP not to accept private consultant recommendations but they are bound by NICE guidelines and specialist referral criteria which is where the problem likely lies. I think you probably haven't got the full picture and it could be out of GP's hands. Either way, if the treatment is not working, it should be reviewed. And your friend may want to ask for a pain clinic referral. If nothing else could be done about the condition itself, then, at least, her pain could be better managed.

Endofyear · 05/02/2026 22:10

She could see another GP in the practice or move to another GP practice? At mine, there is one GP who is the go-to on Women's Health and she holds regular menopause clinics etc.

Verytall · 05/02/2026 22:05

Could she get a second opinion?
Or would the new 'Jess' rule' apply, where the situation should be looked at again if someone has presented 3 times with the same or progressive symptoms and no clear working diagnosis?

Orangesandlemons77 · 05/02/2026 21:51

Complain to the practice manager perhaps?