Sending child to school FT when I don’t need to

I've found this thread very difficult to follow. Currently, she is out of the house 9-1, comes home for lunch and nap. She's up for an hour or so before she has to go out on the school run, during which time she is 'so bored and fussy'. It doesn't seem long enough to me for her to be bored and fussy! As you have older children, if you want to have quality time with your 3 year old, you need to have her at home in the mornings, so that you can go on days out, library, classes, stay and play. As you say, the afternoon is gone with school pick up and then after school activities for bigger kids. Pointless sending her for mornings then picking her up just when you're not going to be able to do anything with her. If you don't want to have special one on one time with her, send her for the full day and don't feel guilty about it, if finances allow.

She's three. They are at school long enough when it's compulsory. Four hours a day is more than enough to socialise and she won't miss out on anything by keeping to that.
I'd work on dropping the nap so you can do more on the afternoons.

I did similar and DS thrived. I took him out for the odd special day and I started studying for a career change.

At age 3+ she should be ready to drop the nap some days enabling you to do more with her. If she goes to school the full day she won't have a nap so why cant you drop the nap at home at least on some days and get doing more with her?

When I was a sahm we put our youngest into nursery for a day a week using childcare vouchers. People would make snidey comments about me being at home but tbh I ignored them. It was good for her to go and it was good for me to have a few hours where I could get house stuff done, go to the dentist etc. When my eldest got her free hours we paid a bit so she could go 3 x 9-3 days. Again people would comment but no one lives your life OP 😂 Its ok to want to do things for yourself like studying etc

If she loves it and you can afford it then it is best for her.
Children mature at different rates. My second child was like yours and was ready before they would let him in. He never wanted to come home from pre-prep.
My first child was not ready by the time he had to start.
Life is unfair, but just now it looks like it's going to work perfectly for your daughter. Embrace it.

It sounds like you have pretty good reasons to send her & as you say opportunity may not come up again.

the school sounds like it will keep her occupied and will ease pressure on you re the school run. Will she manage without the nap or will she get one at school. If no nap she might be a little grumpy after school till she adjusts

This, too^

You can't do everything or be everyone.

As long as she's engaged and happy, there's no problem.

You still need some time to just be you.

eta assuming OPs DD is currently telling OP which route to take on the pick-up/school run 😁

I’d absolutely send her.

I'd do it and see how it goes.

If she's getting bored at home or is just strapped into a car seat for an hour - while you're doing pick-ups/mums taxi - then she's probably going to enjoy playing at school far more.

I think you need to re-phrase this. You will no longer be a sahm, but you will be a student. It sounds like you are done being a sahm, it's not a failure, just a new stage of life.

Send her for the whole day but reduce the amount of days.

Four used to be the age most kids started school where I lived . Even to the point that you went actually on your 4th birthday or day after . It was Reception but more like playschool. If nap is included then go for it . And your friend is just jealous ! There are plenty of breaks and terms aren't that long either. She will have the best of both worlds .

Do they allow MWF enrollment? That worked really well for us. Full day at school and then a full day at home gave us real time together.

How would the 4pm finish fit with your other school pickups? If it doesn't just exchange one set of problems for another, I'd do it.

Just came on to say I get it OP.
We live rurally and anywhere decent to take a toddler is at least a 20 minute drive away. With naps involved it can be tricky timing and the school run looms sooner than you realise. I have no idea where the time goes on my days off when my DD is at school.

Ignore your friend
Send her. Study. Reclaim your identity and get back to work.
A bored under stimulated child cooped up with a bored under stimulated adult? Sound like a nightmare. Nursery sounds great.
Good luck!

I’d stick to 4 hours a day and would turn down the 9-4pm personally.

Is she early side of 3 or nearly 4? Maybe she is clingy as she’s already in nursery every morning for 4 hours and wants mummy when she’s home. Can you think about dropping the nap? That would leave you with more time to have fun.

So she’s at nursery in the morning and naps in the afternoon? Surely that a fair amount of time for you to do your own stuff? Why can’t you do anything with her when she’s awake and home? How is she going to cope at nursery in the afternoons if she still needs such a long nap?

it’s fine to want to send her just because you want to but the”reasons” you give sound illogical.

If she still naps after lunch it doesn’t seem like she’s ready for a full day. Unless they nap in the class?

I remember this tricky time as a SAHM many years ago now trying to drag the preschooler on school run , mine are now teens . You say she wants to be with you , I would keep her with me , I know you are on the school run but you can talk , play eye spy that kind of thing , listen to audio books if you are driving ?

Sounds like you don’t feel you are able to meet your child’s needs in which case sending them somewhere that can sounds like the best plan.