Sending child to school FT when I don’t need to

Agree with this. However it is a two way situation. If your dd would benefit and enjoy it don’t let your misplaced guilt as to what you “should” do as a sahm prevent it. Maybe you can use the time productively for yourself if she goes ft or with activities you could share if she stays pt. Presumably she would be ft at 4 anyway, when is that?

I would not send a three year old to full time school every day of the week if I had the choice not to.
Talk to the school about her doing a full day for three days and having two full days with you.

Sounds like you have lots of excuses lined up for doing nothing with her at home, so you may as well send her to school.

You feel guilty yet you don’t seem
to be doing anything to alleviate her boredom when she’s with you - either do something
positive with her or send her to school full time but stop making excuses! By the way, If you worked you’d soon get used to doing an amazing amount of things of all descriptions in an incredibly short time!

You could make a bit of an effort to entertain her if your a SAHM ! Surely that’s the whole
point of being a SAHM parent?

I wouldn’t send my child into school FT if I didn’t work as I would feel massively guilty, it was hard enough putting her in on days I was working.

That being said, if you CBA with it, you may aswel send her to school we’re other people can entertain her and you can rest:go the gym/coffee etc at your leisure.

As a teacher and parent I was told 'parents have the utmost power'.

So yes, you can negotiate the times at pre school as it's not mandatory, at this age we had DC in nursery, paid for.

If you've been a sahm for these 12 years then you've not experienced the juggling of work commitments and DC so full focus on DC?

Not that you should have to, but this can lead to overthinking which is often more more to do with how we perceive it rather than the child. I look back at feeling so worried about certain situations for them and they didn't even notice or have any memory of it!

You just have to see how it goes, the school will let you know if it's not working. Step back, don't helicopter.

Have you considered getting a pt job, the distraction, focus on something else. Xxx

Afternoons don't have to just be school run? On the way home, quick pop to the park, swim, soft play? Unless of course you need to back home for other DC. Xx

I wasn't a SAHM but our twins were in nursery 3 or 4 days/week, 8.30-6pm from 12 months to school age. They were fine and enjoyed the stimulation and it meant they were not as scared when it came to reception. I'd just do it, you don't have to justify it if she's not being stimulated at home... It's pretty full on keeping them busy all the time.

why not do the full days but not all 5 days? So you get a “full” day to do your own stuff on some days but then other days a longer time to spend with her in which you can get out to classes etc.

I think for me it would depend whether she’s starting cru school this September or next.

This.

Why are you a SAHM if you're not enjoying being a SAHM? Why don't you get a job?

It very much depends on the child.

I work two days a week so quite minimal and I could do this with DD. I generally do go to a group or activity like swimming or whatever, but today is a case in point, her swimming lesson was cancelled so apart from a visit to the tip (!) we’ve just chilled at home and she’s fine.

If I’d tried to do that with DS (now 5) he’d have been quite literally climbing the walls by 10 am (he also woke at 5 - very grateful DD hasn’t done that!)

And most children do attend some form of preschool or nursery prior to starting school. I’m not sure I agree they are ‘fine’ there five days a week 8-6 but certainly two or three days a week is fairly standard.

I would have felt very guilty sending my daughter to school/nursery if she didn’t need to. I managed to be a stay at home mum when she was young and treasured the time we had together. I never found it necessary to take her out every day and we spent countless hours on the floor playing with her toys, reading, colouring, and making hideous jewellery out of pasta tubes. They were some of the most magical times I can ever remember, and my daughter really thrived having my attention every day.

My dd is in a London prep and they allow us to pick and choose afternoons (all 3 year olds have to attend 5 mornings). My dd started nursery doing 5 mornings and has gradually added afternoons so now she does 3 mornings and 2 full days (8.30-3.30pm). That works for us, she does gymnastics and swimming classes on 2 afternoons so she is busy. I think picking up some full days is important as they head towards reception otherwise it will be a shock to do 5 full days. I don't think you should feel bad using full days as a sahm, it's for the child's benefit and it allows more play time with their friends. But just 2 or 3 full days would be better to start with as it sounds like she needs to nap.

Just send her! You can’t keep her happy at home, why wouldn’t you send her? Most kids perfectly happy in daycare 8 til 6pm . Stop fretting.

This. I didn't know how to vote but it sounds like she'd enjoy it.

I put YABU because I think you should probably send her for 4 days and do something nice with her on the other day. The choices aren't at home or at preschool. What about taking her on a day out?

I understand its shit weather right now and the indoor options are all a bit tedious - but when the weather's nicer I think you should make the most of your youngest baby before she is off to school for good.

Be careful that you don’t paper over the cracks because you’ve still got evenings, weekends and school holidays and she needs to learn to occupy herself. If the older children entertain her they’ll be a point where their busier and she’ll be at home without them.

With Nursery I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but I loved having extra time with my children before reception with them doing some half days, especially as the weather gets better.

You're saying she's bored at home and there's plenty of fun and interesting things at school. So it seems a no brainer she'll be better off there.

The worst that could happen is it doesn't work out and then you can reduce her days again?

If you can afford it and she enjoys it then why not?

Presumably you have a good enough income with just your partner or other money so the fact you're a SAHM isn't really relevant.

If she is at school you could consider going back to work? If that's what you want to do. But if no financial need or personal desire then it's perfectly reasonable to stay at home.

To be fair she’s explained why a lot now. Her DD naps and only wakes up around the time they need to be going out for the school run!

Doing the school run is just part of life for younger children. There's no need for it to be boring but even if it is, what's the problem. It's good for children to be bored and to learn how to occupy themselves.
Also not understanding why you can't visit a playground or do something mildly entertaining in some of the afternoons.