No plus ones to friends wedding

I can't believe someone is actually asking this. ^

Unless your partner know the couple as well I don't understand why you find this weird. Why should they have pay for someone at their wedding they don't know, just because they are your partner?

Yeah this. ^ If it's a workmate and there are 10 other workmates coming, and they are ALL invited without their partner, then that's fine. If it's someone who doesn't know anyone else, or doesn't know people very well, then it's a really shit thing to do - only inviting them alone, and not a plus-one (IMO.)

Inviting someone, and not their spouse, when said person only knows the bride and no-one else, is terrible. This person must have been so lost and felt so awkward. I can honestly say that if someone invited only me (and not my husband of around 30 years,) I definitely wouldn't go.

If it's a married couple - or engaged - then I think it's weird, and bad form to not invite the partner. JMO of course. If you can't afford to invite someone AND their life partner, then don't invite the one and not the other.

It's all subective, and there is no right or wrong, but I think inviting someone and not inviting their fiance or spouse is odd. I'm entitled to think that, and I'm not wrong. Just as people are entitled to think it's not odd, and they are not wrong. An opinion cannot be wrong. And you don't have to be 'joined at the hip' to prefer to go to big family events like weddings with your bloody partner! Daft comment that is!

Long running thread going at the moment about something similar here...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5485488-wedding-invite-to-husband-only?page=1

I find this absolutely bizarre that you wouldn’t attend a friends wedding because they didn’t invite your husband if your husband isn’t a friend of the bride or groom. Surely the important thing is being there yourself to celebrate your friend’s day? Especially when you will be in the company of a group of other friends?

When I got married 13 years ago, some peoples plus ones were there some weren’t. Mainly are we friends with you or you as a couple. If as a couple both were invited, if not then just the person and their partner could come the evening reception. Having said this mine was down to numbers both my and my husband come large families and we had to cut numbers somewhere. Even my brothers girlfriends who we had only met a couple of times - they’d been together 5 months and 3 months at the time only came the night.

The first no plus one wedding I went to was a colleagues about 35 years ago. I travelled with another colleague and we shared a room. It absolutely does not bother me at all. At weddings you want people you love or at least like. Not Mr ViciousCurrentBun who my colleague marrying hadn’t even met.

I have gone to 2 weddings overseas without DH as well, I don’t feel it’s any sort of insult.

Some of us aren’t joined to our partners at the hip!

Common for friendship groups or work colleagues. If they are limited to say 120 people, then the plus ones of friends is ten other friends that can’t be invited.

I don’t see an issue at all with this and I’m pleased you are being very level headed about it, some people find it very insulting that their DH (who vaguely knows the couple because they met at a bbq once last year) isn’t invited.

Think about it. You’re a friendship group. You will have a great time together at the wedding, can pool travel and accommodation arrangements. You don’t need to bring your partners. Inviting a partner/spouse is much more likely if they are also a good friend of the bride and/or groom or if you’re not going to know anyone else at the wedding. Adding needless plus ones just pads out the guest list with people the bride and groom couldn’t pick out of a police lineup.

Agree with this, its fine to invite a group of people who know each other without plus ones, but not individual people who don't know any of the other guests.

I think with more people moving away for uni and work, people often don't know their friends' partners as well as they used to. I wouldn't expect an invite to a wedding where I'd never met the bride or groom, similarly I wouldn't be surprised or annoyed if DH wasn't invited to one along with me if he didn't actually know the happy couple.

Agree with @Mumstheword1983 that once you have DC it makes childcare a lot easier!

I’d be having more fun at the wedding with friends rather than trying to ensure the plus 1 is ok!

I think it’s really normal especially where the venue is small or a big family. My best friend did this, it’s a bit of a shame not to be able to share with your partner but totally understand why it’s done. I had a great time catching up with other friends. Sometimes inviting partners they barely know means they can’t invite other close friends.

It is becoming more common. To be honest, whilst I can understand adult-only weddings. I cannot understand no plus-ones. It seems to be completely against the ethos of a wedding, which is love and partnership!!!

If the ‘singles’ group all know each other and if it’s the same for everyone in that group (ie, not some partners invited and others not) then it’s ok. Leaving out one or two partners is shitty, as is leaving someone alone. There were people I had never met at my wedding - my guests’ comfort was important to me.

One of my friends did this and it was great - we shared rooms with our best girl mates from school, had waaaaaay more fun than if all the loser husbands were there and if it meant more friends came than their boring partners who don't know the bride as well and haven't met the bride and groom more than a couple of times then great!!!

Treat it as a weekend away with your girlfriends. Get dolled up. Have a ball. It'll be an absolute hoot.

We did exactly this for our wedding, 14 years ago. We were paying for almost everything ourselves and only invited partners if we knew them well and had made an effort to get to know us. No-one got stroppy or didn't come because of it (that we know of 😉) and although I do feel guilty about it now, we didn't have the space or the budget for everyone to have a plus-one!

A fiancé isn’t a plus-one. They’re a named partner, socially and practically. In most social circles, once someone is engaged, they’re treated as a unit. Invitations should reflect that.

I think this is becoming more common. I've been invited to (all day) weddings of colleagues and both times a group from work was invited with no partners. We all hired an Air B&B for the night however a couple of people declined the invite both times since their partners weren't invited. It actually made it easier for me as I've 4 kids and childcare can be an issue for overnight stays.

I don't think this is a recent thing, I went to a wedding of my uni friend 30 years ago and all the uni lot were invited as a bunch with no plus ones. Maybe it's becoming more common though, due to increased COL etc.

Sounds like a fun and easy wedding to me, with a group of mates. What's not to like?

I spoke to my main friendship group and said it’s £230 per head and you all have a husband and 3 kids each….so do you all want to come to the night do (£20 per head) or just my actual friends come to the whole thing. Every single one of them said they wanted to come and make it a girls day and had no expectation of a plus one. I’m not tight at all but I couldn’t justify £1000 per family!

I think it is fairly common now because people have to try and keep a lid on the costs, which are usually considerable as others have pointed out.

I don't think it would bother me, to be honest.

It depends. A group of friends who can travel together, fine. But I know someone who was invited to a wedding without their husband, and they knew nobody except the bride. I think in that case it’s rude and thoughtless. They did go and were seated with three couples who knew each other already. Needless to say, they left after the dinner was over and didn’t stay for the rest of the day.

This, you’re looking at what £125 at least a head these days?

I wouldn’t invite plus ones to my wedding, if I don’t know them. I’d rather have my actual friends.