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AIBU?

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Should i let my children be looked after this person?

156 replies

YourDenimTraybake · 05/02/2026 11:12

This is a delicate matter…
just wanted to hear peoples views.

A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.

They are currently staying at a family members house until this is sorted out. We haven’t been for a while because they are staying there and we have children. But we do visit often under normal circumstances.

My kids are supposed to going in a few weeks for the day. Under normal circumstances i would be happy for them to go. However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

Do you think it’s ok for my kids to still go. I’ve been told that they won’t be there at all whilst my kids are there.

I am a little worried, but only because I don’t wanna get into trouble doing the wrong thing.

Sorry if I’ve been vague. 🤦🏼‍♀️ don’t really know how to approach the situation.

OP posts:
YorksMa · 05/02/2026 11:55

Absolutely not. You know the answer.

user1492757084 · 05/02/2026 11:55

No, unless they come to your place.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 05/02/2026 11:55

However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work.

The kind of person who would take in a child abuser and / or paedophile is the kind of person who would also lie and tell you they will be at work.
And then have some cock and bull story about how they didnt know....
and it was an emergency ...
and actually its not a big deal as they were here nothing happened...
and because he wasnt really guilty he just pled guilty because his solicitor said to
blah fucking blah

This is because they are an enabler.
You cannot trust people like this to keep your children safe as they have poor /bad judgement.

No unsupervised contact from me and certainly not at that house.

Nomedshere · 05/02/2026 11:55

Not a chance.

Christmasinmecar · 05/02/2026 11:50

Can't be around kids, a tricky situation what the fuck is THAT about? What planet are you on OP?
Having to ask if you should let your kids stay although this person is at work, I presume they go home at the end of the day and you really have to ask if that's okay?
Unless ND on your part, I can't begin to think why you have to ask.

Bellaboo01 · 05/02/2026 11:48

NO!
Your post is a bit too vague but, if he cant be around kids and he is living at the house that you are considering sending them too and the hosts are happy for him to be there. I wouldn't trust their judgement tbh.
Then i would say a BIG FAT NO!

Estebanjo · 05/02/2026 11:48

Obviously not. Your trusted family member babysits at your house, or you make alternate plans. Don’t put your children in harm’s way.

MissyPants · 05/02/2026 11:41

CaminoDays · 05/02/2026 11:29

Theres absolutely no such thing as a "tricky situation" that leads someone to be banned from being around children.

Minimizing the situation will put your children at risk.

Agreed.
OP you are downplaying the seriousness of these allegations.

sesquipedalian · 05/02/2026 11:31

OP, the fact that you are asking here means you are doubtful, so don’t do it. You won’t know if this person comes back during the day; you won’t know what time they come home. I’d keep my DC well away until such time as this person is no longer with your family member - and if the arrangement is permanent, family member will have to come to you to see your DC, if that is what you want. Your children’s safety should trump any and every other consideration.

CaminoDays · 05/02/2026 11:29

Theres absolutely no such thing as a "tricky situation" that leads someone to be banned from being around children.

Minimizing the situation will put your children at risk.

CloakedInGucci · 05/02/2026 11:29

They are currently staying at a family members house until this is sorted out

Sorted out? You make it sound like you think this is a complete mix up, and there is no actual issue?

Either way, no, I wouldn’t let them go.

BillieWiper · 05/02/2026 11:27

So the person's house you want to take your kids to welcomes paedos with open arms and allows them food and shelter. Presumably because they can't be that disgusted or angry about what he did.

So no, they can't be trusted around kids either. They are sympathisers to a child molester?!

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 05/02/2026 11:27

OMG please do not send your children to the home of people who are sheltering a paedophile!

TemperanceBooth · 05/02/2026 11:27

Would I let my children be looked after by a relative who is happy to house someone in their home who isn't allowed to be around children? No I wouldn't. Under any circumstances.

To not be allowed around children they are either a paedophile or a physical abuser. The idea of letting someone like that stay in my home with me makes me feel sick.

I'd be viewing the person housing them very differently going forward. They'd not be having access to my kids without me there with them.

If you've been relying on them for childcare you need another solution going forward.

Flapjak · 05/02/2026 11:26

No you should not send your children to 'home' of a child abuser/ groomer/rapist unless he has moved out - if he is just at work , What's to stop him coming home early , being off sick that day or any other myriad excuses. Dont forget until it has been too court you may not know the truth of what he has done as he and his parents / relative will minimize it as a way of managing their shame

MissyPants · 05/02/2026 11:26

Sorry no, I suspect this is pedophilia, although you don't have to say as it's very sensitive for you.
Who knows if this person has set up secret cameras etc? I know that's a little out there but you just don't know?
Until this is resolved and clarified ie - the case and conviction process - I would not send my children to this house.

OrdinaryGirl · 05/02/2026 11:26

I only needed to read the title - if you have to post a thread with a title like that, you’ve already answered your own question, OP!

L0bstersLass · 05/02/2026 11:25

The children absoultely do not go there.

titchy · 05/02/2026 11:24

I think OP wins the record for the most minimising euphemism of the day….

Hoardasurass · 05/02/2026 11:24

No.
This person is supporting someone who has offered against children they have no moral compass and an inability to see the need for appropriate safeguarding

randomchap · 05/02/2026 11:22

MidnightPatrol · 05/02/2026 11:19

“A distant family member has gotten themself into a tricky situation where they can’t be around kids at the moment.“

What does this mean?

Most likely some kind of child sex offence

WilderHawthorn · 05/02/2026 11:22

If someone has been accused of being a predator or assaulting a child, then I’d not allow my children within 1000 yards of the house they were staying in, or associating with the people ‘sheltering’ them.

Iwontbethere · 05/02/2026 11:22

BauhausOfEliott · 05/02/2026 11:18

Even if the person who 'can't be around kids' isn't there, I don't think I'd want to send a child to the home of someone who was happy to have a suspected paedophile living with them.

This
If it's a child abuser, anyone complicit in supporting it is equally reprehensible and not to be trusted.

MakingPlans2025 · 05/02/2026 11:22

Obviously no. This is a total no brainer.

LoveWine123 · 05/02/2026 11:22

This isn’t about you doing the wrong thing, this is about keeping your children safe. I think you know the answer.