Should i let my children be looked after this person?

Innocent until proved guilty. You need to make careful decisions which err on the side of caution, and don't have your children there without you
No need to tar and feather anyone who still speaks to the alleged offender, either whilst on bail, or if found guilty

If it is a misunderstanding/ witch hunt of an innocent person, there's lots of advantages for that poor person in complying strictly with whatever conditions have been imposed on them. They get the moral high ground.

Keeping your children away is protective of that distant family member of they've done nothing wrong (and potentially protective of your children if they have behaved badly).

This is how I'd explain it to the relatives the distant relative is staying with.

No way.
I wouldn’t risk it.

Do whatever works for you, but you’re doing more than that - you’re telling the OP what to do. Calling others ‘enablers’ based on zero evidence is the thin end of the wedge that ends in the murder of people who share names with convicted sex offenders, or setting fire to paediatrician’s offices.

no

Are you Sarah Ferguson?

The answer is No, you don’t have your DC around folk like this.

Looking at it from the other perspective, the authorities would take a dim view of children being taken to where he is staying, whether hes at work or not.
Of course you don't.

If the people your children are supposed to be visiting think the relative who shouldn't see children is innocent/hard done by/misunderstood/not really a threat/etc. then no, absolutely not unsupervised.

If they are concerned, have proactively addressed issues, would definitely bring your DC home if the relative came back from work early, etc. then I think it's fine. But you really must trust them 100% and if you're asking on MN then it seems unlikely that you do.

Would I send my kids to the home of someone harbouring a peodophile? No.

Yeah it must have been really 'tricky.' Searching out CSA images, creating them. And possibly physically SAing kids. If only they could make it easier to get away with...🙄🤢

It would be a hard no from me. If you're under pressure then they don't get the seriousness and that's only one step away from allowing the relative access to your kids 'to be kind'/ 'it's fine because we're there' etc etc

Do you really need to ask?

The house presumably belongs to a parent and the distant relative is a sex offender? By offering them a home they should have automatically understood that your children would not be visiting.

And if they are willing to support a sex offender then why do you want to visit them anyway?

I’m guessing your BIL is a predator and the in laws think he’s innocent.
go talk to the police- say you have small children related to this person. My friend did similar and got some info

Have to agree to disagree....

My own experience within my extended family maybe taints my view but imo this is how predators worm their way back into decent society.

I'd rather clutch my pearls and be wrong a thousand times over thanks very much. 👍

I am guessing that this person is staying with a relative as they have had to move out of their own family home as there are children there - are social services involved? Don’t take the risk with your own children

Sorry but your mum is not 'doing the right thing' by harbouring a paedophile

Edit to add: sorry I missed your typo, I thought you were saying you are angry at your mum who is trying to do the right thing

This.

How do you know the people who will be in the house won't take photos /videos of your children that will be accessible to the accused person?
How do you know the accused person won't be able to do any covert recording of your children?
How do you know the people in the house are themselves safe for your children to be around?

No

OP, you said However i have been told the person in question won’t be there, they will be a work. Do you think it’s ok for my kids to still go. I’ve been told that they won’t be there at all whilst my kids are there.

Do you feel that this relative is pushing you to drop your kids off at their house? Are they making you feel unreasonable for wanting to cancel the plans?

That would set alarm bells off for me.

So the people you’d leave your DC with are happy to have a person who shouldn’t be around children living with them? They have shit judgement. It’d be a hard no from me.

Oh course not.

No!

"My kids are supposed to going in a few weeks for the day. "

Could the relative that they would be going to see, instead come to your house to see / care for your kids? That way they can be together with zero chance of the unsavoury distant relative coming into contact with them?

I’m just at Mum who’s trying to do the right thing and doesn’t want to hurt anyone so please be kind

I just wanted to pick up this point.

As women we are taught throughout childhood and adolescence to "be kind" and don't hurt other people's feelings. Always put others needs and feelings above our own.
You are not alone. We are all taught this.

Generally, as a rule, this is a good way to live.
But when you get to my grand old age you realise it is complete bollocks.
As you have found out, there are situations when you cannot always be kind and you may hurt someone else's feelings.

In your situation, you have to protect your children. This means you cannot be kind to your family members and you will probably hurt their feelings.
So be it.
This is not on you. They have made their choice to allow this person to live with them. You have to make a decision regardless of their feelings.

I promise it gets easier as you get older to do this because you grow a "I don't give a fuck" attitude. 😆