Am I going crazy? Little scenarios that my bf makes me feel like I’m going crazy

I don't think it's normal to need to be communicating with someone 24/7 in order for them to believe you're not cheating on them.

God, I could not be arsed with that kind of relationship. Who has the time for endless texting/messaging and work and kids?! Having to send pointless messages to someone every half hour would drive me insane.

I should also add, like other people have said. When I had a boyfriend like this, he cheated on me constantly behind my back! After I left I found out there were a whole string of other women. Rather than deal with his own guilt it was easier to deflect it on to me and act like I was the guilty one!

Oh gosh, don't stay with this wally! You will never be happy and he will never change.
I am getting on a bit now, but I simply could not be bothered to constantly explain myself or justify what I have been doing. I had a boyfriend like this many years ago and it was exhausting! You don't have to put up with this.

too much work, just get rid

He's not joking.

I had a boyfriend like this his once. Horribly insecure, would "joke" that I was obviously getting ready to run off with anyone I made any form of eye contact with, that if I went to work and the male supervisor was on shift I'd be "getting lucky" and so on.

Eventually I did actually kiss someone else, because I'd gotten to the point that if I was being accused of it, why not actually have some fun? And the lack of guilt I felt made me realise I wasn't happy with him. I finally dumped him, and then found out he'd been seeing someone else behind my back. Made a lot of sense.

No, he's not joking but you've proved him wrong so he's covering his tracks to save face. And avoid you being in the right and him being in the wrong.

You should end this relationship. You are worth more than this. Find someone who loves and respects you or stay single. Both are better options than being a punchbag for a jealously insecure idiot.

Aaaahhhh.. that sounds crap OP. You deserve better. He'll make you paranoid, insane and double-guessing yourself over every thing if you stay with him. I'm sorry. What an arse he is.

He's being exactly this.
He's exhausting.

If your friend was in a relationship with someone like this, what would you tell her?

Your boyfriend is being controlling and manipulative to try and make you feel like you are "crazy" or misreading things.

He wants proof of where you have been when HE was the one who cheated? Classic projection.

Please leave him, for your sake.

If you don’t know the answer to this, it is probably unsafe for you to date.

@Confusedlady600

DARVO is a manipulative tactic, an acronym for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, commonly used by abusers to evade accountability. When confronted with wrongdoing, the perpetrator denies the behavior, attacks the person confronting them, and reverses roles to claim they are the true victim.
Key Aspects of DARVO

• Deny: The perpetrator denies that the abuse or harmful behavior occurred.
• Attack: The perpetrator attacks the individual or group calling them to account, often by questioning their credibility, mental stability, or motives.
• Reverse Victim and Offender: The perpetrator acts as the victim, claiming they are being falsely accused or harassed, while the actual victim is cast as the aggressor
• .

Don't waste any more time with this loser.
Also do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Why would you have bothered with someone who has cheated on you?
Wasting your time?

Of course he's not joking! A joke by it's very nature implies humour. There is nothing funny about what he's doing/saying.

Stop jumping through hoops for this controlling weirdo. You may not have left your phone at home on purpose, but even if you did you're entitled to do that.

Why do you need to be contactable and at his beck and call every second of the day?! You shouldn't be explaining yourself to him, you should be packing a bag (or his), or making plans to leave/get him out. Red flags everywhere.

Glad you are feeling more confident in recognising that this relationship is not healthy. Never in my 35 years with my DH has he questioned where I am and, if he’s not been able to reach me because I’ve left my phone at home, his response would be that he had been worried about me as I am usually quick to respond and a teasing reminder every time I leave the house for a few days, as he doesn’t like me to be out driving without a means to call for help.

I hope you can see you deserve better than this man. The honeymoon phase is over and he is ramping up the control. It will only get worse if you stay.

Yes, this. Maybe reply "Yes, I was shagging the gardener all morning, it was great!" and if he's pissed off, tell him you were just joking.

Obviously dump and run...

My husband jokes about me having a good time with "man's name" when I go out or come home but I know he is joking and he has never probed me about what I do or checked up on me etc. I have never had fo question if he is being serious, which suggests to me if you aren't sure then your bf is definitely being serious.

He’s being controlling. You’re not crazy. Don’t question yourself. Just leave.

Sorry that sounds like a head wreck.
I'm with my husband 27 years and I have never, ever had a conversation with him like that. If he doesn't trust you now, when he has no reason not to, that's A - on him an B - not going to go away. Everything else is just a front of him pretending everything is ok but it keeps coming back to his deep insecurity about you doing the dirt on him because his own self esteem is the issue.
See it how it is, accept it or move on.
Personally I'd be moving on as I wouldn't have the energy or interest to be constantly reassuring someone or worrying about how my behaviour is making them feel on a given hour.
Some people mistake this behaviour as jealousy or love but it's insecurity and can lead to controlling behaviour so I'd be wary.

Leave now before he takes whatever scraps of self respect you are throwing out the window, Why do women keep doing this? A rhetorical question

I got to line 6 and knew I didn't have to read any more. Dump him. Be single which is better than being with a gaslighting arse.

Its always the one making cheating accusations that is doing the cheating!
He has probably cheated more than that kiss.
Run and never look back. He sounds gross.

You say you know that you need to end this. The sooner the better. Every day he is eroding your self esteem, making you doubt yourself, forcing you to go to silly lengths to prove you're not lying or cheating. Why do you even care whether he believes you? You're going to read your OP in a few weeks and think "How the hell did I ever let that wanker mess with me like that?"

You shouldn't have to provide proof of anything in a loving and respectful relationship. Raise your standards and dump this controlling weirdo. It will not get better than this.

I just want you to read back the first two sentences of your post and realise what a ridiculous contradiction that is.

This isn't a mature, healthy relationship. He's insecure, passive aggressive and controlling. Surely you know that.

I'm not the kind of person who immediately jumps to 'LTB' on any and every post about relationships, but I have to wonder why you're even with this guy.

You are not going crazy. You need to get away from this man.