Am I going crazy? Little scenarios that my bf makes me feel like I’m going crazy

Coercive control. Your instinct to leave is correct. Your boyfriend is gaslighting you into doubting yourself, classic narcissistic abuse.

This guy is no good op. Hes a gaslighting, controlling individual, who will make you feel shit about yourself, while he is busy doing what he is accusing you of (cheating). You deserve so much better, please get rid.

He is being controlling and jealous. Dump him!
Ignore him when he starts saying you have lost it or your crazy.

I think he's cheating on you and he's trying to make himself better by convincing himself that you're probably cheating on him too. LTB.

He kissed someone else and you've decided to stay with him - why? He seems too intense and obviously there are trust issues, he probably won't change. Do you want to be with someone constantly questioning what you say?

He's not joking he was genuinely jealous.

Jealousy sucks, but it's fairly normal and suggests he does actually like you.

So you'll have to decide if this level of jealously is tolerable.

Oh man, you need to end this relationship. It's not going anywhere good anytime soon.

He is not joking op. He's judging you by his own shitty standards and it's making him jealous, insecure and controlling.

I'm glad you realise you need to leave.

Agree.
You need to break up sooner rather than later.
Or you will end up crazy.
Don't bother to analyse his behaviour. Just get rid.

@Confusedlady600

Please don't, in a future relationship, after you've dumped this arsehole, get drawn into justifying yourself as you were here.

"You didn't answer your messages/you were being shady"
"No, I was just busy/forgot my phone/didn't feel like replying in that moment"
"I don't believe you"
"Ok. I know I'm telling the truth, so that's a you problem. If you don't trust me, this relationship needs to end. You're not my parent, I'm not a child, I'm not going to justify myself to you in an equal relationship"

He sounds like a classic case of projecting the shit he does (cheating/flirting/whatever), onto you. Be aware of that one too!

You are rightly leaving him so no advice is needed- he is a controlling, nasty, manipulative piece of shit!! who is playing games, he isn’t joking he is trying to catch you out!!

Read your post back whats all the ‘I accidentally left my phone at home’ you can do what you like you can turn your phone off, leave it anywhere you like - you do not need to dance to his controlling, pathetic tune!

Please run now and do not look back, tell him today and look afterward yourself xx

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
RUN!!!!

Joking is 'pull my finger' and when they pull your finger, you let out a little fart.

This is not joking.

Dump ASAP.

He's a cunt. It matters not one jot what he thinks. He cheated, you didn't. Your mistake was taking him back when you found out. He's probably still doing it. Which is fine because you are going to dump him today, right?

It's not you, he is being totally unreasonable jealous and controlling. This shit only gets worse. The fact that he also cheated on you clearly shows what is driving his behaviour. He would (and does) if he could so he thinks you would also take every opportunity to cheat. He is nasty and yucky, have higher standards for yourself and get rid of the slime ball!

I had this with an ex.. Used to check I was at work when I said I was at work, accused me of affairs etc.. It used too give me this weird, rising feeling in my stomach (that I have never been able to name! I think the closest word is dread) even though I had done nothing wrong.

It's no way to live and you would be happier without him.

In nearly 20 years I've never had to show my partner the GPS on my phone to show where I have been an when. I frequently don't have my phone on me and the only time he's got cross about that was when it meant her had to walk back to work and then home again in a thunderstorm as he'd left his keys at work. I was home and could have let him in and then driven him back to work. Once he had dried off and had a cup of tea all was forgiven!
We do joke about the milkman or only fans accounts but it is definitely very jokey and both of us are smiley and laughing throughout. It is very light-hearted and never would either of us feel the need to justify one anothers actions.

When someone shows you who they are listen. Also, even if it's only a joke and he doesn't mean it. Do you want to be in a relationship where you are having to justify all your movements. To prove where you were to play along with his "joke". How you feeling right now, is that how you want to keep feeling?

You need to leave. Based on what I had read so far, it was enough for me to think he's bad for you, before I even got to the example and I stopped reading after that .

Your boyfriend is looking for exudes to cheat. He'll never stop this, because he has a roving eye.

The way he legitimises his cheating is by accusing you of doing the same, even though it's not true.

That will result in you having to bend over backwards in order to be be seen as 'good', whilst he keeps you on the edge the whole time, under the threat that if you step out of line, he will cheat.

See how manipulative that is?

Run op. He’s cheating on you, I’d say as often as he can, and trying to keep you scared and compliant.

you say I’ve never cheated on you and I know you know that, your comments are all just bullshit because you enjoy making me feel bad. I’ve been thinking about it and I’m confident you’re cheating, more than that one time I caught you. I deserve a man who values and loves me and you’re neither, we are done.

I haven’t read all the posts so not sure if anyone else has already said anything similar to this, so sorry if it’s a repeat!

I had a serious relationship when I was younger, and he was very much like what you have described. It got worse and worse and worse over time and ended up in full on emotional abuse. I questioned everything, was constantly anxious, every little thing I did got scrutinised. It was absolutely awful. I just wanted to give you my story so that you have a idea of where this could lead too.

some small amount of insecurity is, in my opinion, somewhat normal for some people. my husband has deep rooted insecurities, and every now and then he’ll sit down and ask me if I still love him etc, I reassure him, we move on. It’s just part of who he is but he is never manipulating or horrible about it. I think that’s the stark difference. It doesn’t fill me with anxiety; he just needs a bit of loving reassurance. What your partner is doing is not this; it’s manipulation and it will potentially spiral out of control.

sending you love - it’s easy for people to say to leave him but harder to do in practice when you love someone, but I would honestly tell myself to get out quickly if I could go back in time to my younger self.

No - he’s not joking. He’s saying what’s actually going through his mind, gauging your reaction and then passing it off as a joke if he thinks he’s outed himself as the controlling and jealous arsehole he clearly is. OP this is the tip of the iceberg. It will get worse with time, he will isolate you from friends and family until he controls every aspect of your movements. The fact that you felt obliged to show him your tracker to prove where you’d been is really concerning, as is your eagerness to tell randoms on the internet that you really did genuinely forget your phone when you went to Costa. He’s already conditioning you and you don’t even realise it. I don’t normally jump straight to LTB, but in this case, I’m sorry but I’d be dumping him and not looking back. Big red flags everywhere.

op, you know its ok to be single right? you dont have to put up with nonsense just to be in a relationship. it was exhausting reading your op, cant imagine living in it. get rid of him asap

He’s done a number on you. It’s okay to forget your phone and to purposefully leave it at home while you get coffee. You can go to Costa twice a day if you want to.

You’ve justified both of these things to strangers on the internet (“I honestly did forget”, “I don’t do this often”). Neither action requires apology or explanation.

Get rid of this pointless f**ker. He doesnt seem to have any redeeming features at all