Husband’s business, baby - do I need to be more resilient?

OP has already answered this. He has no savings. She thought he would have some. They didn't discuss it. The expectation was OP would handle all the bills as she would have got back to work.
Now she is made redundant.
I think they both should look for work but what do I know about starting up a business.

This is a really good question

This is a common sense and paying the bills issue, not a gender issue. If this was a same sex marriage, and one had packed work in to pursue a project while the other was on maternity leave and subsequently got made redundant, with no financial back up, regardless of whether they're in underpants or knickers, Dick or Doris, someone is going to have to pay the rent.

What would you suggest they do at the end of next month when the OPs savings are gone? How should they now arrange themselves in terms of income and childcare?

Well that makes the fact that they are going to run out of money in a month better eh?

This plan sounds unrealistic and I think he was selfish for suggesting this all when you had a new baby.
The whole notion of him being dependent on your salary with no savings was very short sited and I can only hope he has considered the risks within his business. Surely part of being successful is to anticipate problems you might encounter, so when setting up his business plan he should have considered his family and own household income and the possibly of you not having a job.

The jobs market is pretty dire right now. It sounds like you are finding it hard to find a new job yourself and if he isn't going to get funding and his business doesn't get off the ground, is he going to find it easy to get back into paid work?

As someone else has pointed out, even if you find a job will this be worth it and even cover all your household bills and the cost of childcare? Or will your husband be caring for the child while working?

Besides I think the worst bit of the timing is him quitting a full time job for this with a new baby, and that’s intentional not unfortunate. Everything else follows from that decision, and the agreement of his wife has to be taken in context of the OP still doubting herself even though the money is about to run out. She’s clearly not in the driving seat here and has tried to be supportive because anything else brings on him being upset about being too old, failing etc. The whole thing has been too driven by emotional decisions not realistic planning, so unfortunate issues were inevitable.

It’s the no savings and while on mat leave (ignoring known risks of return to work issues) that’s irresponsible. Wife agreed to the plan amidst having a new baby and understandably wasn’t at her most on it. I still think it’s on him and the unfortunate aspects could have been anticipated and mitigated, or at least made him rethink the plan after redundancy instead of just spending her money and hoping for the best.

He gave up a full time job with the agreement of his wife while she was still in a full time role. She was made redundant AFTER he gave up his job. It's unfortunate timing, not irresponsible.

Hmmm no funding December now in February still no funding something tells me all pie in the sky and he needs to get back to work, you shouldn't be the one funding you all or worrying about money and getting another job

I actually think the OP is being gaslit by her husband. Everything is going to be ok. When they are a month away from having nothing

They don't

Can you go on UC for now, I think if you are the primary carer they don’t push you into work while child is a baby

I am generally very pro setting up your own business and making sacrifices now for future benefits but I don’t think his timing was great! I would suggest he gets a temp contracting role for 6 months to a year alongside you going back to work (if that was what you originally were planning to do pre redundancy) and you save like mad and then he goes back to the business plan but with a good buffer of savings incase of future redundancies/more children/illness etc.

how long prior to him leaving work was he planning to do so? I ask because I didn’t return to work post maternity and am setting up my own business BUT it was something that was being planned for 5 years previously with my husband and was something I was wanting to do most of my adult life. Totally get him saying he can’t get funded/be taken seriously while still in full time work but you can still be networking and immersing yourself in the industry in that time and planning so you are in the best possible situation. We always knew my husband would be supporting us financially for years while I slowly built up the business but I would be looking after the children at the same time so I was saving us £2k a month in childcare (soon to be £4K!!) and we have at least 6 months of savings incase anything happens to DH job. It has meant sacrifices now, my husbands certainly doesn’t have the lifestyle to fit his salary but it will be worth it in the future and I am incredibly grateful for his support.

No one has ever supported me money wise. I live alone. It's 2026. The notion that men need to support their wives financially is ridiculous and outdated. Even my gran had a part time job in the 1970s when her husband worked full time

I grew up in a single parent family where my dad paid the absolute minimum for me till I was 16. Lots of people don't have a partner to support them - this is not about traditional gender roles. He's given up a full time job and he's making no money. Quite different in my view

We'd expect a man to support a woman. Why don't we expect a woman to support a man?

Who's this 'we'?? I wouldn't expect either to support the other in this scenario regardless of what's in their pants. I'd only expect one to support the other if the plan was fully worked out and agreed - and then I'd expect the plan to change when the only earner was made redundant, rather than just spending all funds and leaving it to hopes and dreams to fill the coffers.

The OP is clearly trying to support her DH, she's trying her best to get a job, but she hasn't got one or any money, so she can't support him with her resilience alone. He needs to earn money. It's that basic.

I wouldn't. They have one month's money left and he gave up a full time job to start a business that is yet to make a penny. He's completely irresponsible

If this was the other way round, everyone would be clapping and cheering your desire to set up a new business and piling in on the husband for whining about not wanting to work 5 days a week. So yes, you need to be more resilient. It's nobody's fault that you were made redundant but it is what it is. It would be crazy to stop the set up process of his business now when he has already started.

We'd expect a man to support a woman. Why don't we expect a woman to support a man?

This. People keep suggesting OP ‘gives him 12 months’, but they have no money after this month.

OP’s DH does not have a business. He has a business plan, that is not a business (yet).

No, HE needs to be more resilient, accept that circumstances have changed, and find some paid employment immediately. He can start his business alongside it or postpone it until finances are more secure.

You really have landed in a precarious financial situation though. Two adults, salary nil, bills to pay mouths to feed.

How are you going to meet your bills between you?

But they currently have one month's money left. It doesn't matter how hard he's working trying to get funding. The bills need paid

Fundraising is very, very time consuming.

I think she said if I'm right that she was in a different country from family - maybe she will clarify. Doesn't really sound like there's any safety net money wise. She said they have one months money left and that's pretty much it - so the situation is precarious. OP if you are in the UK you really need to look at making a joint claim for UC as soon as possible if you or he don't find work as soon as possible. You have one months money left? What are you going to do when that runs out?

What's done is done, unfortunately your plans (as such) were overtaken by events outside your control. While it might be his dream, his business may have to go on the back-burner for a while. Now you have to make the most of what you have and secure an income. Have you looked into claiming JSA while you look for work? If necessary, he can look after your child for you to return to work. Which of you is more likely to find work quickly? Really, this is a conversation you should have with him, not here on MN

Just remembered OP mentioned being in another country so UC may not even be a possibility. But one would hope he wouldn't have strung this out without any kind of safety net at all if the funding doesn't materialise, that would be madness.