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AIBU?

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Original poster

Only one key to house

55 replies

BellaLunaa · 04/02/2026 17:29

My friend and her husband moved into their house approximately 6 months ago. They both work from home. She is self employed so works job to job.

I met up with her today whilst she wasn’t working for a coffee and she mentioned she doesn’t have a key to her house. I questioned this and she said she doesn’t need one because they both work from home and go everywhere together.

She obviously goes out without him because she met me today. She also does the shopping etc without him, I believe he just lets her in. I asked her where the key is and she said on his key chain but she wouldn’t even know which one the front door key is as he always opens it. I asked what about when he goes out and she said he just takes it with him.

She seemed to think this was normal but AIBU to think not having a key to your own home is bloody weird? And maybe a bit of a red flag? It just seems really weird to me and I’m worried she isn’t allowed one. Never had any other red flags from him before though.

OP posts:
JJkate · 04/02/2026 18:13

I once stayed with bf of the time and his family and no one took keys when they went out. They had this weird system where they would knock and have to let each other in. It must have relied on someone having to have one surely otherwise they'd all be locked out but it struck me as v weird and v controlling. There were 4 of them and me. I wasn't allowed one either.

cestlavielife · 04/02/2026 18:08

If is rented the estate agent will keep a key for emergencies. She can go get it and make copies then return it.

Bonkers1966 · 04/02/2026 18:08

Weird

Cherrysoup · 04/02/2026 18:06

Bizarre. I wasn’t thrilled to be hauled out of the bath the other evening when my Dh forgot his key whilst taking out the dogs.

TwinklyHazelRaven · 04/02/2026 18:06

“I asked what about when he goes out and she said he just takes it with him.“ @BellaLunaa this is the red flag….depending on the lock type she would not be able to leave the house. Also I highly doubt many houses are sold leaving only 1 key to pass to the next homeowner!! Edited as I’ve just seen it’s a rental…slightly less concerning but just as weird!

outerspacepotato · 04/02/2026 18:02

Weird and creepy.

Acommonreader · 04/02/2026 17:58

Really odd.I can’t get my head around the practicality of this!
What if she’s out with you and he wants to go out or has an emergency ? Would he lock her out or leave the house unlocked?
What about he has a heart attack and is lying on the floor in the locked house - she can’t get in to help him!
Not to mention the somewhat sinister control aspect of it- he must have to know all her moves and plan their days accordingly.

tarheelbaby · 04/02/2026 17:49

BadgernTheGarden · 04/02/2026 17:41

You change the locks!

Show quote history

As it happens, we did change one to upgrade it. And I understand why you suggest that.

But even if we'd changed the locks, we would find only have one key impossibly impractical. We fret when there's only one key for a hotel room/holiday flat; the possibilities for inconvenience are immense.

MrsMoastyToasty · 04/02/2026 17:41

It seems controlling.
I remember an episode of This Morning when they were doing a live phone in to the agony aunt and the caller said her partner locked her in so she couldn't go out. He was controlling in other ways too. agony aunt was horrified and so were the presenters. That programme has stayed with me for years.

BadgernTheGarden · 04/02/2026 17:41

tarheelbaby · 04/02/2026 17:38

In their situation, DH and I would have had a second key cut the afternoon we moved in. One of us would have gone straight to Timpsons to sort this. And we'd have cut some spares to leave with family/neighbours or if a guest came.

You change the locks!

BadgernTheGarden · 04/02/2026 17:39

Did they only get one key when they bought the house? If so I would worry where the other one is. We always change the locks when we move, you never know who has spare keys. If there is only one someone has to have it I suppose, but I would think the one going out takes it.

TwattingDog · 04/02/2026 17:39

I had six cut when we changed our locks recently because they seem to disappear 😂. There's only two of us, but by the time we dish out spares to a few trusted people it doesn't actually leave us much leeway for losing one.

I can't imagine having to rely on someone else for something as simple as coming and going from my own home. I'd be worried about that relationship dynamic tbh. If it's not a control thing (and it may not be!), it's somewhere along the lines of utterly dependent on her part or just not capable of planning for a minor problem on either of their parts. Nuts.

GreenEyesIsBack · 04/02/2026 17:38

Really, really weird, worryingly so.

tarheelbaby · 04/02/2026 17:38

In their situation, DH and I would have had a second key cut the afternoon we moved in. One of us would have gone straight to Timpsons to sort this. And we'd have cut some spares to leave with family/neighbours or if a guest came.

Original poster
BellaLunaa · 04/02/2026 17:37

They also share a car.

But obviously he lets her have the keys to that because she drove to see me today. So maybe it is a case that they are both scatty but it’s just very bizarre to me. But I’ve never had any red flags from him at all before! He’s a nice guy.

In terms of her going out late I don’t think she really does. Not without him.

OP posts:
kohlrabislaw · 04/02/2026 17:36

How weird. What if she’s out late? Does he get out of bed to let her in?

ShakyFridge · 04/02/2026 17:35

Mm. And she can't get one cut, can she? As he has it on him at all times.

99pwithaflake · 04/02/2026 17:35

That's really disturbing, IMO.

Original poster
BellaLunaa · 04/02/2026 17:35

OhamIreally · 04/02/2026 17:33

That’s dreadful so she’s trapped in the house whenever he goes out? My ex used to “accidentally” take my keys occasionally or put them in his pocket. It was infrequent enough that it was believable that it was an accident but always got my spider senses tingling.

This is what I’m worried about. I guess she could unlock the door and go out but she wouldn’t have a key to lock it behind her. Unless they have a back door key? I tried to press a little bit but she genuinely didn’t seem to think it was weird at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
BellaLunaa · 04/02/2026 17:34

Just to add they don’t have any children so nobody else needs the key.

They rent and she said they only got one when they moved in and they haven’t gotten around to getting another one cut but…. I just couldn’t imagine not having a key to your own house?

OP posts:
Morepositivemum · 04/02/2026 17:34

I think it’s weird if there’s something to worry about, otherwise there’s a chance they’re both just scatty and haven’t got round to getting one yet. I don’t know how you find out though tbh

ShakyFridge · 04/02/2026 17:34

There would almost certainly have been more than one key when they completed. What has he done with it?

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 04/02/2026 17:33

Crazy and disturbing (locking her INTO the house) as well as totally impractical (lost or damaged key)

Hollowvoice · 04/02/2026 17:33

That's weird to me. We each have keys, DC have keys, and BIL has keys, and I like knowing there's options if I forget mine when DH isn't in (only happened once but still....)

OhamIreally · 04/02/2026 17:33

That’s dreadful so she’s trapped in the house whenever he goes out? My ex used to “accidentally” take my keys occasionally or put them in his pocket. It was infrequent enough that it was believable that it was an accident but always got my spider senses tingling.