To go away alone for 40th Birthday?

Go! Could you do a trip with friends? Sisters? I went on a good few 40th trips with girlfriends! One was a weekend away in a European city with a few friends, it was fabulous - lots of food, drink, site seeing, chatting. Did a weekend in a big country house for another friend, big meal, hot tub, much fun. Had a London trip with a show, boozy brunch and getting all dolled up. Many of the friends involved have kids.

You can do whatever! You could do both!

Actually, @Alltheyellowbirds , she said

I could do a mini break and I've thought about going alone - would that be really tragic?

and

Should I do the 4 day break with all of them or go solo - accept it might not be the adventure I was after but at least I get some time to myself.

"accept it might not be the adventure I was after"

@JustGiveMeReason She didn’t say she had no-one to go away with, she said she’d like to go alone, and have some time by herself.

Theres nothing sad about travelling alone. I’ve done it for months on end, it’s very freeing.

Go solo. Treat yourself. Sounds like you deserve it, tbh 🙂

I feel there are two separate questions.

I do think it a bit sad that you haven't got anyone to go away with. No friends, or relations that would come with you on a relaxing break. I'm happy in my own company and to spend a couple of days by myself, but I'd choose to have company for a longer break for a big birthday.

However, obviously, your dh should be able to cope with looking after your child for a week or so. That's even before I read the bit where you said he went away 3 times for his 40th last year. You should at least have the equivalent time away, however you spend it.

You know what? He chose to go away repeatedly, using your labour, to make himself happy, while knowing he wouldn't be willing and 'able' to reciprocate. If your son is so challenging that he can't parent alone, he shouldn't have gone off and left you.

But he did. So he needs to get able really quickly.

I would go alone or if I wanted to would go with a good friend or relative

Surely parenting a child is a two way thing when you are a couple ? Your DH should be able to care for your DC like you care for them when he is away

How has he coped with DS when you’ve gone away on work trips?

Your husband sounds a selfish fucker. Book the trip, he’ll manage when he absolutely has to. Make sure you remind him every time he starts complaining that he had 3 trips away so it’s only fair you should have at least one.

Go!
A lovely retreat with what you like to do
And make it clear to dh he steps up arranges help if he needs it but he is in charge

You ve done it for his trips
Your turn

Go for it OP. Enjoy!

Your DH is truly awful. You need crystal clearhim so he realises this is utterly out of order. Book yourself a week away.

Why is your husband travelling alone cool but you travelling alone tragic?

I did for my 40th! Booked a gorgeous barn conversion with garden spa room in Wales, and took myself and the dogs off for a few days of bliss. 10/10, would do again!

Go solo! Given that your husband had three birthday trips 🙄 you could always add on a family trip later. But give yourself a break first. That thing about putting your own oxygen mask on before you can help others.

If he gets far flung, why don't you? There are wonderful trips, GAdventures and the like.

A solo trip sounds wonderful - do it!

(I went away alone for my 60th - not that celebrate my birthday - and my husband didn't think it was an issue at all.)

Your DH is being unfair and unreasonable! He can cope and he can learn to as well!

Do it. Go somewhere you could never go with the family. Have an AMAZING time.

Go. Your DH will cope. I also have an autistic PDA profile child and it’s hard work. I used to work away for a few days at a time when he was that age and I swear it saved my sanity.

I love a wee solo trip. A chance to be properly selfish.

There’s a way you can get every other weekend off. Go for it. He’s being ridiculous

I could do a mini break and I've thought about going alone - would that be really tragic?

It would be tragic if you DIDN'T take this opportunity for yourself.

I mostly travel solo. Love it. I can do what I want, if I want and when I want.

Your DH took 3 holidays and expects you to not even have a short break? That is outrageous. He can cope, he needs to learn to cope, and you need a break.

A minibreak alone is anything but tragic and it sounds like you should put yourself first for once. It's your 40th FFS.

Your DH saying he "can't cope' looking after his child for a few days is tragic though. How has it come to that?

I'm wondering the same thing about my birthday. If you'd enjoy being alone, go for it. If you're unsure, how about going away with a friend or family member?