Need help asserting myself with my resignation from a committee I'm on

With the work one, I was asked by management to be on the committee to talk about staff and work issues as they felt I would be honest and apparently I come to the table with a solution along with the issue. I was literally told this.
So I did, and then the management seemed to be upset that I raised some real concerns rather than asked for decaf tea. So, I've handed it over to another member of staff who wants to do it, saying I am too busy at work sorry.

So you fudged it a bit there too, you could have said ‘Look management person, you/John literally asked me to talk about staff and work issues, now I am here doing this and you don’t like it. Why?’

Have you resigned from the other one yet? Please say ‘yes’.

All this raging and fuming is now on you.

Just quit.

You got lots of advice on how to do so quickly and cleanly a couple of weeks ago and you didn't take it.

Now you're getting angry again about the actions of people you've already marked as unreliable and unreasonable. They won't change.

Just quit.

Use your anger just resign it’s not paid work just send an email I’m resigning from position as of now as my circumstances have changed good luck finding someone.

Dear chair, I am resigning from the committee with immediate effect. Flyby2026.

Then, I would go to the shops and buy……delete/add/exchange as needed) samosas, Maltesers, cream cake, crusty bread, posh biscuits, spring rolls, and I’d sit down and watch tv. Easy.

Get your husband to monitor your phone and emails if needed, or you have my permission to ignore any communication from them.

Or, we’ll see you here in another month when you are still feeling anxious about something else they have done or said.

You know how much they care about you? They don’t. Not at all.

This. You owe them nothing. not a loose end tied, not a change made to please others, not a turn up and smile.........Fuck blooming all.

@PangaBanga makes the point well; you are irked, understandably, but if you show it, they get their kick out of upsetting somebody, but in the long run, who is the loser?
Without a gratifying kerfuffle, you have made a dignified withdrawal, and they have lost the help and goodwill of somebody who has gone out of their way to be helpful and useful to them.
Bide your time calmly, wait for the next crisis to arrive, as it surely will, and the tentative enquiry from them, or more likely a "flying monkey", at which point you chuckle and make some remark along the lines of, "After last time? Do me a favour!"
Then, and only then, do you divulge your reasons.

OP, I feel your pain. And I agree it is much more difficult to resign from a voluntary role than a paid one - though I don't fully understand why. I've been in a similar position in the past, and (for different reasons) am in a similar position now with another committee. It is galling to let bullies get away with it, but there is no justice in the voluntary sector (at least in terms of volunteer roles) unfortunately and they are likely to make things worse if tackled rather than seeing the error of their ways.

In your case, I'd be inclined to say something like:

Dear Chair, Now that [Big Event] is over, my role [organising Big Event] has come to an end and it is time for me to stand down from the Committee. Please accept this email as my resignation, effective immediately. I wish [organisation] all the best in the future.

And then pour yourself a very stiff gin and see how much lighter your shoulders feel when you press send. It is amazing how liberating it is. Good luck.

Dear Chair
I am resigning my position on the committee from date. This is a difficult decision as I feel the work is worthwhile and I have been able to make a useful contribution. However I find I am no longer enjoying the role. In the event my feedback might he helpful to the future running of the committee, the reasons for this are:

1. I feel the demands on my time became excessive.
2. During exchanges between us I have felt undermined and that my contribution was not respected

Absolutely this, sometimes less really is more. Walk away with your head held high and don't look back.

I'd just resign pronto and not tie up any loose ends. It's voluntary, so you are free to dump it and not worry about it.

It sounds as if they've had more practice and get more enjoyment from being arseholes than you do. No point throwing good effort after bad trying to fight it; their punishment is losing someone who did their best for them.

Get your husband to help you write a simple one sentence email resigning and press send. Do it in the next hour if you can. Then go to the supermarket and buy some nice food and drink for the weekend. That’s all you have to do. It has a really simple solution and I can’t see why you’re so determined to make it so complicated.

If others noticed they weren't there, then everyone will know why you stepped down. You don't need to say anything other than that you're resigning, effective immediately.

If they follow up and say you need to provide a handover or whatever, just remind them calmly that you are no longer a member of the committee and will not be carrying out any further duties.

As others have said, reflect on how you can avoid this happening in the future!

I agree, OP, that it is in your own best interests not to mention these twats.

After you resign, if someone wants to follow up with you informally some barbed but lighthearted jokes might be in order. The tone should be that, as twats, these committee members aren’t worth your headspace. But tread carefully and I don’t think you should take the initiative.

Best wishes

Honestly, it will be used against you if you do that.

If you really feel the need, you could say something along the lines of you believing you are no longer a good fit for the committee, as evidenced by the poor attendance at the event. But really, I wouldn't.

Why would you give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you?

Email your resignation to the chair stating that you are standing down with immediate effect. Full stop.

Alternatively, if you are not comfortable with the starkness of it, you could add on a bit saying you have decided to step down from the committee, and now that the project is complete, this is an appropriate time and you are stepping down with immediate effect..

Don't pull them up, they will love that.

Are these people on the committee or members?

This!

I understand you and I have been there. Bullies need somebody to bully. Its not about you, its about them. They will pick someone who they think is victim material. This is not victim blaming and I am not saying that bullies shouldn't get comeuppance or victims of bullying should put up with it. What I am saying (and i think you are too) is that ots possible to reframe our own thinking and change our own behaviour.

Excellent, you’ve made your point re the culture but haven’t harmed yourself in the process