Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

804 replies

Maybeasd · 04/02/2026 09:06

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Covermytracks · 06/02/2026 14:25

Are you enjoying this thread OP?

Original poster
Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 14:24

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 14:21

No, I really don't. But that also just speaks volumes as to who you are.

I do wonder if that's who you want to be?

Show quote history

Who I am and how I am? Of course! I wouldn’t change who I am nor the way I am.

The arrogance doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s innocuous in that sense.

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 14:21

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 14:20

Do you think I care?

Show quote history

No, I really don't. But that also just speaks volumes as to who you are.

I do wonder if that's who you want to be?

Original poster
Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 14:20

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 13:55

That just suggests that you're projecting an image in your "real life" that isn't the real you.

And it suggests that you're very aware of the behaviour you're displaying here and choosing to behave like that anyway.

Neither of those things reflect well on you.

Show quote history

Do you think I care?

OP posts:
lemonts · 06/02/2026 14:11

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 13:51

And I’ve met with god only know how many MH specialists because I thought there was something wrong with me …. I always get discharged.

and I feel fine, my family is well taken care of. I volunteer when I can, and try to give back to the community as much as I can to.

I live a fulfilling life but also I know I’m lucky too.

My life hasn’t been all unicorns and rainbows either, but I’ve overcome it and im better person because of that.

now, do you think I behave like this IRL? Obviously not!

Show quote history

As I said your 'reality' no doubt seems very real to you, however it is very evident that it doesn't align with actual reality.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 13:55

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 13:51

And I’ve met with god only know how many MH specialists because I thought there was something wrong with me …. I always get discharged.

and I feel fine, my family is well taken care of. I volunteer when I can, and try to give back to the community as much as I can to.

I live a fulfilling life but also I know I’m lucky too.

My life hasn’t been all unicorns and rainbows either, but I’ve overcome it and im better person because of that.

now, do you think I behave like this IRL? Obviously not!

Show quote history

That just suggests that you're projecting an image in your "real life" that isn't the real you.

And it suggests that you're very aware of the behaviour you're displaying here and choosing to behave like that anyway.

Neither of those things reflect well on you.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 13:51

lemonts · 06/02/2026 13:30

This is yet another example of the significant deficits you seem to have which are being amply demonstrated on this thread. You lack empathy and kindness and also have no ability to honestly reflect on yourself. Far from being gifted, it seems that you may be suffering some sort of delusional disorder. That must be very difficult for those around you as no doubt to you these delusions seem very real to you, hence your continual reference to and repetition of them on this thread. I hope you are able to access the mental health support you need.

Show quote history

And I’ve met with god only know how many MH specialists because I thought there was something wrong with me …. I always get discharged.

and I feel fine, my family is well taken care of. I volunteer when I can, and try to give back to the community as much as I can to.

I live a fulfilling life but also I know I’m lucky too.

My life hasn’t been all unicorns and rainbows either, but I’ve overcome it and im better person because of that.

now, do you think I behave like this IRL? Obviously not!

OP posts:
Imdunfer · 06/02/2026 13:45

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 12:28

I said I could relate, and that I was sorry and that I understood a tiny bit of her experience.

that was fairly empathetic to me

Show quote history

But you couldn't relate to what that poster has been through, you haven't been through it or anything remotely like it. It was just words you wrote with no genuine feelings behind them. This is the kind of masking many people with ASD learn to do. Say the words without the feelings and hope they are enough. Most maskers manage it better than that though.

You then destroyed any feeling of empathy you had managed to create by bringing the conversation onto your own post natal depression, which was completely irrelevant and, as was obvious from her response, left the poster who had tried to give you some valuable input feeling completely dismissed.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 13:36

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 12:28

I said I could relate, and that I was sorry and that I understood a tiny bit of her experience.

that was fairly empathetic to me

Show quote history

It wasn't anywhere near empathetic.

It was very much "awe diddums, but here's more about me".

lemonts · 06/02/2026 13:30

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 12:28

I said I could relate, and that I was sorry and that I understood a tiny bit of her experience.

that was fairly empathetic to me

Show quote history

This is yet another example of the significant deficits you seem to have which are being amply demonstrated on this thread. You lack empathy and kindness and also have no ability to honestly reflect on yourself. Far from being gifted, it seems that you may be suffering some sort of delusional disorder. That must be very difficult for those around you as no doubt to you these delusions seem very real to you, hence your continual reference to and repetition of them on this thread. I hope you are able to access the mental health support you need.

Imdunfer · 06/02/2026 13:24

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:45

Then at least I exhausted everything within my power.

Show quote history

I'm not sure about that. I don't get the impression that you've done a fraction of the reading up of research into how normal, NT, injured, ill and non-human primate brains work as I have. There's a whole fascinating world of it out there.

StopWindingBobStopWinding · 06/02/2026 12:30

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 12:28

I said I could relate, and that I was sorry and that I understood a tiny bit of her experience.

that was fairly empathetic to me

Show quote history

Yes, I can see that.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 12:28

StopWindingBobStopWinding · 06/02/2026 12:22

You could demonstrate empathy for another person, but that doesn’t seem to be something you feel.

Another negative trait.

Show quote history

I said I could relate, and that I was sorry and that I understood a tiny bit of her experience.

that was fairly empathetic to me

OP posts:
StopWindingBobStopWinding · 06/02/2026 12:22

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:26

Seriously, what was the right reply TO YOU?

I thought of not replying, but I told you that I understood the bit of lack of memory and how that sucks.

what else can I say?

Pain / experiences are incomparable in the end.

Show quote history

You could demonstrate empathy for another person, but that doesn’t seem to be something you feel.

Another negative trait.

Toothpastestain · 06/02/2026 12:12

Are you as interested in your loved ones as you are in yourself? Your self interest is exhausting.

Sal7252 · 06/02/2026 12:06

I didn’t read the whole thread so this may have been recommended already. If you want to understand your sensory profile then you probably want to look for an occupational therapist who works with adults, alongside a psychology assessment. They can assess you with the EASI. The issue would be that there are not currently standardised norms for adults but it’s the closest you’ll get to having data about your sensory processing (involving actual assessment and not just a questionnaire).

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 12:00

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:57

That’s what you think… what matters is what I think, it’s my life after all

Show quote history

What you don't seem to be doing is considering whether just because you want to do something, if the actual consequences means you shouldn't do it.

You have a family. This obsession is going to be impacting them. If this whole quest leaves you a bit broken, that will impact on them.

But you're right, it doesn't matter what I think. It's your life and you who is going to wind up hurting. So don't bother posting for opinions because you don't give a shit about them anyway.

NooNooHead · 06/02/2026 11:58

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:57

That’s what you think… what matters is what I think, it’s my life after all

Show quote history

Blimey, the self absorption is strong with this one..!😆

Original poster
Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:57

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 11:53

And you'll be left exhausted, disappointed, down money and questioning everything.

Show quote history

That’s what you think… what matters is what I think, it’s my life after all

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 06/02/2026 11:56

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:13

Well I’m the subject of this thread, right?

Show quote history

I agree with you that you that it does seem that you might need to see a psychiatrist to work out what is going on.

Unless you're deliberately trying to be goady for your own entertainment, there is something else going on here that isn't quite right.

I hope that you are able to get the help that you need.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 11:53

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:45

Then at least I exhausted everything within my power.

Show quote history

And you'll be left exhausted, disappointed, down money and questioning everything.

MindYourUsage · 06/02/2026 11:48

@BrainInterestingButFuckedUp Woah, that is a harrowing and frightening read. I'm so sorry to read it. What a cruel thing to happen to the body.

You are absolutely right about appreciating what one has, thank you for the reminder.

CallMeDaphne · 06/02/2026 11:47

This all seems very self-absorbed to me.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:45

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 06/02/2026 11:44

I think the point is....you probably won't. And then what? You get told you aren't what you thought, don't have answers...what then?

Show quote history

Then at least I exhausted everything within my power.

OP posts:
Covermytracks · 06/02/2026 11:45

Maybeasd · 06/02/2026 11:43

Yeah 100% because it’s not the only thing that defines me. I can still do awesome things, the “disqualification” won’t take that away from me.

I just really want to understand my brain.

Show quote history

Which awesome things have you done so far?

Swipe left for the next trending thread