AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

There may be a DH issue too who knows, but just from this thread, I’d agree OP is strange. Not in the ways she thinks but in how she thinks it makes her exceptional and so on. Even how she mentions the PJ thing is strange - sure it reflects poorly on him but it’s a weird nugget to chuck into the thread at this point. She may well be ND and 3k could cover an ASD assessment at some private clinics if she wants to start there, but it wouldn’t go far on anything deeper either here or in the US.

Ah OK that choice element is steering away from ND then. This is what I found for what you are describing, and if its the case I'm sure there are lots of research institutes who would like to study you:

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) / Psychopathy: This is the primary disorder characterized by a "callous and unemotional" nature. Individuals with high-functioning ASPD or psychopathic traits can consciously mimic emotions (superficial charm) and switch off feelings like empathy, guilt, or remorse in a deliberate, logical manner to achieve specific goals, such as manipulation or exploitation. They have high cognitive control over their responses and often show low emotional activation.

But what exactly are you looking for?! You really aren’t explaining it to us in a way we can comprehend, and all the suggestions being put forward your are closing down.
Are you bored this morning?

I think you are suffering from OEI.
Obsessive Extreme Introspection

What do you want the outcome to be at the end of whatever it is you want happens?

Perhaps you’d be best focusing on one thing at a time and embracing it. Are you a procrastinator? Do you struggle to focus?

Congratulation on you perceived higher intelligent curiosity... its not a medical issue.

Have you tried applying to mensa or even just universities to expand your mind and occupy your curiosity or widen your social circle?

Honestly, like most you will likely find at the point of a step up that you where a simply a big fish in a little pond and when jumping into the wider river your really not all that big at all.

Same. Are you are trying to remodel his criticism into something you can evidence as valuable?

Have no idea what your talking about

I'm beginning to wonder if you've been gaslight by your husband into thinking there's something wrong with you.

He doesn't sound like a reliable source of information then.

What you have there is a DH problem.

Sign up for a degree, read some books, do some research. From what you say you have all these skills available and the motivation, so what’s stopping you?

Sometimes I wonder if people would be happier if they thought less! Overthinking doesn't bring happiness imo. Maybe accept yourself as you are and just get stuck into living your life if you're physically and mentally fit and well?

She can’t afford that. She wants it for free on the NHS or cheap private.

"the other thing is that most of my social behaviours have a logical explanation rooted in my own personal preference"

Are you saying you dont have an emotional response OP? If so that could be ND, or antisocial personality disorder. But if it doesn't actually effect your life, who cares? Are you unintentionally hurting people you care about? Or finding that people cant relate to you and that hampers your ability to get stuff done? It doesn't sound like it, but if it does then thats a case for finding out more.

You definitely sound ND, despite your protests to the contrary. Also, this is the UK, so we don’t all go to therapy for every tiny whimsical reason, unlike the USA 🤷‍♀️ I’m pretty sure you can find someone who will happily take your money to indulge you 🙃

Sounds like you need to pay to train in that field of education if it’s an interest of yours.

Are you happy in your life? It sounds like you’re over analysing and looking for answers that perhaps don’t exist.

Everyone’s brain works differently because it’s a combination of genetics, biology, development and social and environmental input. You’re looking to understand the workings of your brain but you sit within the “normal” realms.

Brain scans are extremely expensive, how much money do you have to throw at this exploration?

If its just self exploration rather than having a suspected condition then no, you won't get that on the NHS, you will have to pay for that privately, and it will likely be expensive.

Hot take: yes you might have some kind of neurodiversity but it just doesn't matter that much. Your brain works how your brain works regardless of giving it some label.

There is obviously no public money for naval gazing. Most clever ND people don't bother analysing the way their brain works but use their unique thinking skills and pattern recognition to excel in a specific field.

The closest to what OP is describing would be one of those self-proclaimed Tiktok ADHD or ASD coaches. Basically people who take your money in exchange for telling you how amazing you are and giving some basic tips on life organisation.