Page 2 | AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

Maybeasd · 2026-02-04T09:06:22+00:00

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK. I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context). The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot. I’ve looked into: ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused) talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money. People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions. I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies. I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering. So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 16:55

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:52

I had to demonstrate my skills within my role i.e. data analysis. It was one of the stages in fact. However it was very much specific to my role, not random psychometric tests.

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You've let yourself down there.

They aren't "random" tests. They're aptitude tests. They show how well you can use that brain of yours to solve problems or work as a team or how you would approach issues and so on. They show how you would fit in the role outside of analysing data, because most roles are more than just the job title.

Someone so interested in them would know that.

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:52

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 16:50

You got offered one without having to do ANY aptitude tests?

Of course you did. Because you are so special.

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I had to demonstrate my skills within my role i.e. data analysis. It was one of the stages in fact. However it was very much specific to my role, not random psychometric tests.

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IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 16:50

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:49

I have been offered a role at a FAANG company in the past, extremely well paid too! But they wanted me to relocate, and that was a red line from my husband.

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You got offered one without having to do ANY aptitude tests?

Of course you did. Because you are so special.

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:49

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 16:47

You realise that some employers do test prospective employees?

Places like MI5, the military (specifically the RAF, from a friend's experience), Google, the police, HP and many others do or have done IQ tests as part of the recruitment process.

I'd have thought this was something you'd have known, given your giftedness and all the research you've done into it's meaning and all the testing you've had before now.

I'm surprised that if you're as gifted as you say, with all the degrees from the prestigious universities (you won't name) that top level employers such as Google and Apple weren't headhunting you.

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I have been offered a role at a FAANG company in the past, extremely well paid too! But they wanted me to relocate, and that was a red line from my husband.

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IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 16:47

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:32

It was me why would an employer test me, that’s nuts! And yes it was face to face.

I’ve already said that I’m a client facing data analyst.

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You realise that some employers do test prospective employees?

Places like MI5, the military (specifically the RAF, from a friend's experience), Google, the police, HP and many others do or have done IQ tests as part of the recruitment process.

I'd have thought this was something you'd have known, given your giftedness and all the research you've done into it's meaning and all the testing you've had before now.

I'm surprised that if you're as gifted as you say, with all the degrees from the prestigious universities (you won't name) that top level employers such as Google and Apple weren't headhunting you.

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:47

Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 16:45

You paid for an hour face to face assessment out of curiosity?

Employers test many things. It's "nuts"? I'm surprised that you don't connect the fact that the Wechsler test covers 15 sections in 4 distinct areas with any potential usefulness to employers.

I've had rafts of tests by current and prospective employers. The one I found most relevant to ability in day to day life is the Watson Glaser critical reasoning test. Do you know where you are on that one?

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It’s illegal isn’t it? At least in my home country it is, as it’s seen as discrimination (all psychometric tests).

and yes I/my parents paid out of curiosity.

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Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 16:45

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:32

It was me why would an employer test me, that’s nuts! And yes it was face to face.

I’ve already said that I’m a client facing data analyst.

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You paid for an hour face to face assessment out of curiosity?

Employers test many things. It's "nuts"? I'm surprised that you don't connect the fact that the Wechsler test covers 15 sections in 4 distinct areas with any potential usefulness to employers.

I've had rafts of tests by current and prospective employers. The one I found most relevant to ability in day to day life is the Watson Glaser critical reasoning test. Do you know where you are on that one?

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 16:32

Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 16:30

Did you put yourself through the hour long Wechsler face to face adult IQ test at 22 or was that a prospective employer?

I find it interesting that in spite of how tied up in your IQ you are as fundamental to your abilities that you misspelt the name of the psychologist who created it and used the name of an instrument manufacturer instead. Should I?

I think we're still waiting to hear what field your career was in but I might have missed it?

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It was me why would an employer test me, that’s nuts! And yes it was face to face.

I’ve already said that I’m a client facing data analyst.

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Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 16:30

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 15:42

6 and 22

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Did you put yourself through the hour long Wechsler face to face adult IQ test at 22 or was that a prospective employer?

I find it interesting that in spite of how tied up in your IQ you are as fundamental to your abilities that you misspelt the name of the psychologist who created it and used the name of an instrument manufacturer instead. Should I?

I think we're still waiting to hear what field your career was in but I might have missed it?

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 15:47

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2026 14:22

It's not really that shocking. Brits are known to be self depricating. We like the ungerdog not the show off (see Strictly Come Dancing etc). So yes, if you come fro ma culture where it's common to self promote your (perceived) accolades, it probably doesn't translate to well on the school run in England

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Yeah not shocking just interesting. And we ended up giving the same advice to a 3rd lady that was there who said she had low self esteem.

We both told her she hadn’t achieved what she’s achieved so far just “by chance” and she had to be her #1 plan

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Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 15:42

Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 13:48

What age were you when the IQ test was done?

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6 and 22

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IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 15:10

TalkingShrub · 09/02/2026 15:09

I think we might need to welcome the OP through the gates of the city, by laying palms in front of her donkey and crowding around her shouting 'Genius! Genius!' in acclaim or something.

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So many times on this thread.... I miss the 😂 reaction

TalkingShrub · 09/02/2026 15:09

Bluedenimdoglover · 09/02/2026 13:03

This thread has gone on for so long I'm beginning to wonder if this is a wind-up.
There have been many and varied suggestions but the poster is still coming back for more. Really, when will they be satisfied??

I think we might need to welcome the OP through the gates of the city, by laying palms in front of her donkey and crowding around her shouting 'Genius! Genius!' in acclaim or something.

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2026 14:22

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 08:48

Interestingly enough I went it for brunch with some other fellow immigrants/ expat ladies. They all agreed that they have to tone down “their arrogance”. - one was tired of it and said she’s ended up with no friends. So it was interesting from that POV

It's not really that shocking. Brits are known to be self depricating. We like the ungerdog not the show off (see Strictly Come Dancing etc). So yes, if you come fro ma culture where it's common to self promote your (perceived) accolades, it probably doesn't translate to well on the school run in England

Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 13:48

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 13:05

She keeps all of my records until I moved to the UK when I was 25.

She has all of my publications and university titles.

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What age were you when the IQ test was done?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 09/02/2026 13:19

Changingplace · 09/02/2026 13:14

Sadly many people are just boring 🤣

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I'm inclined to believe OP might be the boring one, and people don't want to engage with her.

She's shown on this thread an inability to empathise with others and a need to turn the conversation to herself, so people probably switch off when they figure this out early doors.

Changingplace · 09/02/2026 13:14

Maybeasd · 04/02/2026 10:04

At its core I tend to find people boring (which is common for people like me) but I’m happy to socialise and can go and meet people and chat. It’s always a constant analysis if it’s worthwhile to engage or not.

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Sadly many people are just boring 🤣

Changingplace · 09/02/2026 13:10

Maybeasd · 04/02/2026 10:58

They do exist in the US, so why not here?

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Because the American healthcare system is based on whether someone’s insurance is willing to pay out, or they’re willing to pay personally, rather than whether there’s anything to actually diagnose.

Its the same reason in the US women are encouraged to go for annual gynaecology appointments and people often get annual full blood tests done despite there actually being nothing wrong with them.

We tend to treat people when they have definable symptoms, unless you want to go entirely private.

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 13:05

Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 08:59

Does your mother keep your adult health records, or was that done as a child?

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She keeps all of my records until I moved to the UK when I was 25.

She has all of my publications and university titles.

OP posts:

Bluedenimdoglover · 09/02/2026 13:03

This thread has gone on for so long I'm beginning to wonder if this is a wind-up.
There have been many and varied suggestions but the poster is still coming back for more. Really, when will they be satisfied??

TalkingShrub · 09/02/2026 09:02

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 08:48

Interestingly enough I went it for brunch with some other fellow immigrants/ expat ladies. They all agreed that they have to tone down “their arrogance”. - one was tired of it and said she’s ended up with no friends. So it was interesting from that POV

But surely it’s not terribly surprising that immigrants, unless they want to socialise only with people who are also not native to whichever country they’re living in, will need to be aware of the social norms of the country they’re living in. Some cultures will have to learn that their normal is considered rude (‘You’ve put on weight’/‘How much do you earn?’), others that a certain amount of self-deprecation is usual, particularly among women.

I remember being absolutely fascinated by conversations at a village hall baby group when I was living in the UK (not British, but had been living in London longterm previously) in which the rhythm was ‘Woman says something self-critical, and pauses, after which at least two other women chorus disagreement, then another woman says something self-critical and waits to be contradicted” etc etc.)

Imdunfer · 09/02/2026 08:59

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 08:47

My mom says it was Weschler (as she has all the documents).

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Does your mother keep your adult health records, or was that done as a child?

Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 08:48

Interestingly enough I went it for brunch with some other fellow immigrants/ expat ladies. They all agreed that they have to tone down “their arrogance”. - one was tired of it and said she’s ended up with no friends. So it was interesting from that POV

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Original poster

Maybeasd · 09/02/2026 08:47

ApolloCVermouth · 08/02/2026 13:28

Asking again which scale your IQ was measured on, OP.

My mom says it was Weschler (as she has all the documents).

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Laurmolonlabe · 09/02/2026 08:38

I Q tests are not a very accurate way of measuring intelligence- anyone who is happy to antagonise people to this extent is not really very bright- I think it is probably people deciding not to engage with you rather than the other wat around.