What should I say to my 19 year old daughter who has already decided that she hates men?

I'm 70 and love most men. The ones I know are fabulous.

Of course I don't mix with fascists etc.

Encouraging her to be fussy is good. My daughter said at roughly the same age your DD is now she would rather be single than be with the wrong man. 20 years later she is still single, financially independent and happy. She jokingly says she can only just cope with her own baggage (diagnosed ADHd and ASD as an adult) let alone someone else’s. I would say though that the young men my other DD and their friends have met, married, had children with are engaged fathers and husbands and in general decent men. Obviously I think your DD has been affected by your husbands cheating and you don’t have to look far in the public eye for some disgusting male specimens so I wouldn’t over egg the fact that there are some decent men around and just see what the future holds.

Why say it's not all men? Why not let her have her feels? Do you want her to be able to talk with you? Validate, empathize, and reflect.

This thread is currently two posts above the one about Epstein. Just saying

Women are only 4-5% of the UK prison population. Those who are there are usually in for theft, fraud, drugs & non-violent offences. This does not excuse their crimes but it is true that men are far more likely to be criminal and to commit violence & sexual assault specifically.

98% of sexual offences are committed by men. Cases of abusive women certainly exist but women like Maxine Carr make the headlines precisely because they are unusual. Male victims of women probably umderepport due to taboo but the evidence overall doesn't support women committing vast amounts of sexual assault or offending as much as men do.

Are you for real? 🤣 And 'listening to your ex wife'? You realise the OP is female with an ex husband, not an ex wife?

I agree with her men cause wars and are dangerous to women.

I agree totally with @OneQuirkyPanda. That's the reality of the world we live in and it takes most women decades to see men for what they are. Your daughter is very astute. Even "good men" aren't always that good, sadly. It's getting worse and the world is regressing.

This. It’s awful and ridiculous to say that all men are bad or evil. I work with many wonderful men, have lots of good male friends and my husband’s a pretty good person too. It’s easy to see the dreadful men because they are often powerful and prominent or exposed by the media. You don’t see the good ones because they’re not seeking praise for their everyday decency. They’re just good people. It’s not men, it’s people and there are good and bad ones everywhere.

Bloody well done girl, saved yourself 20 years of dangerous time-wasting and got to where most women in their 40s are early. Collect £200.

Nothing. She is right.

@YourTruthorMineno it's not just the psychopaths, it's ordinary men that live ordinary lives but have dirty, misogynistic fantasies. And they are ten a penny, unfortunately.

Please tell me you’re joking.

Unfortunately, there is a huge amount of violence against women and girls carried out by men. Of course women do bad things, but i am afraid the violence and abuse carried out by men far exceeds anything that women have done. Misogyny is rife in our society and it blights many lives. Ignoring this is part of the problem.

My DD - similar age - says the same and I’m glad. It is sad but at least she’s not going into adulthood naive about the nature of men.

I say this as someone who has lovely men in our family and my dd has been continually loved, cherished and supported by them all. Unfortunately her experiences as a secondary school girl with catcalling, stalking, harassed by predators and peer bullying made her wise up very quickly.

She's right though, Dad here , my Dd 14 has also made this decision, she's openly gay , and thinks all men are vile , and well I share her views. As a Bi man the men I frequently encounter make my skin crawl. I'd hate to think what it's like for a women. There are exceptions but assuming they are until proven otherwise is a very reasonable approach.

Don't blame her one bit. I get gladder and gladder to be gay as the months roll on.

What the hell. Are you ok ?

Stop her from using social media, listening to your ex wife, stop going to that particular college. She is being indoctrinated by Communists, lesbians and man haters , i.e. feminist.
Give her positive role models for men , pray for her .

This. I applaud her for figuring it out early. Also, did they always stink so bad or is it just me? Every supermarket or bit of public transport I use these days has men (and it’s always men) who absolutely honk.

You could say it’s not all men, but you would also be forgiven for thinking that they might if they made enough money or got into that position.

After the Epstein files, Andrew Tate, that poor French woman, men filing women unawares and selling it online etc etc
I don’t blame her

No nothing says she hates all men, but she does say all men with power are bad, so it is inherently implied isn't it.

Wow I cannot believe some of the comments on here. I know this is mumsnet, but wow. None of you have sons? It's actually quite appalling what your opinions of men and is just outright blatant sexism. Replace your comments with "women" instead of "men" or better still with "blacks" or "the disabled". Would that make you feel uncomfortable? It should. And for the same reasons. You can't spout equality if you go round making these comments.

I understand her dislike but theres plenty of women out there who have just done as many bad things as men have. Theres billions of people on the planet and a small percentage are wrong uns both men and women.

Maxine carr, recently a few female teachers have been sentenced to for grooming, look at the amount of women in prison too.

ITS A SMALL PERCENTAGE theres lots of good men and women out there. But you have women wanting power over men and men wanting power over women. The vast majority live in peace with each other. You only need to look at your street and workplace women and men working in harmony and living in harmony.

Epstien is in the media because of the high profile of those involved HOWERVER their wifes were also in on this but because they are technically nobody the media doesnt show them.