What should I say to my 19 year old daughter who has already decided that she hates men?

interesting. Say more?

PS may I also add that when it's a woman it goes unreported.

Hi as a man there are a few things that come into my mind on this. Although this man was pure evil he also had help from another individual of equal blame, a woman who is now where she belongs jail. People cannot operate this type of crime while all the time people including women stay silent. It might be good to point out that powerful woman have and do commit crime. She is only 19 and her views will probably change. The other thing and more worrying has she come across this in her personal life as her views seem to be excessive?

It is an awful realisation.
I was sexually assaulted in my teens. My word against his. CPS dropped it quite early on. The police officers were actually nice and I was treated as I should have been.
The amount of young women around me who simply couldn't believe my attacker would do such a thing was eye opening.
Later on in life I was mugged coming out of work. (By a man) for my work laptop.
Add in all of the verbal abuse, gropes on night outs, stares and intimidation in public situations - doesn't paint a great situation does it?
Too many women have similar stories. I personally know women going through DV situations right now. Almost all of my friends have a story of SA or harassment.

I am a happily married woman. I have been with my DH for 18 years. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. That doesn't make me any less wary of MEN and the danger they pose. I hope your daughter finds happiness in whatever form it comes in. We are far beyond that being in marriage and babies only though.

We merely look at the evidence.

It looks really bad.

Ruining our youth? What rot. Every single woman should be very cautious when engaging with men.

Why? Because the numbers speak for themselves.

Could you by any chance be a man? Dismissing women’s fears and concerns? Stands to reason.

My word at the comments since i posted.

Billions of people in the world, BILLIONS of good normal people. BILLIONS of people who wouldnt harm or wish harm on anyone. MILLIONS married for decades with kids and dying happy.

What i see from these comments is toxic feminism or people who cant set their own standards. Your ruining our youth with these thoughts. Making you people scared to go outside will only make them anxious and never get a job and have a good life. They will be stuck on benifits living with mom and dad.

One person here said 'i hate all men' EXCEPT MY HUSBAND. What level of normal was that comment.

My daughter is 18 and hates men too, I don't blame her to be honest.
I'm happily married to her dad for over 20yrs so its not our influence.

She doesn’t sound jaded. She just sounds very aware of what women and girls the world over have to suffer at the hands of men.
Sure it’s not all men but so so many of them.

You would be very careless not to be wary of the whole male population. Because you cannot discern which men are abusive and which are not. Like most normal people.

And it’s okay if the human birth rate declines a lot. Plant Earth might survive if there are fewer humans.

Do you ever get the feeling some posters can’t see the wood for the trees? I hope they don’t have daughters…..

I think if it could be the nice ones we don’t expect, then I’m not sure how helpful that would be.

We could presume that even the nice ones might one day kill us, which would reasonably mean we should just avoid men. But that’s going to have a real impact on the growth of the population.

We’re not baby making machines, and nobody has to have them, but if we all avoided men because we can’t be sure, nobody would be having any.

Personally I prefer to trust that the man I choose to commit to, and the one I choose to raise, won’t one day kill me, and I don’t want to live a life wary of the whole male population.

It's worth noting that women often didn't have much choice about marriage & kids for many centuries, even though into the 18th century childbirth was a leading cause of death for women, men could legally rape and often physically chastise their wives to some extent etc

I don't believe all mem have that potential, bit I think women should be aware & careful when seeking a husband.

Because we believe in them. We trust them.

More fool us. Do you ignore the statistics of violence against women and children by men?

It is constant and relentless.

Eradicate ourselves? Don’t be daft.

It is better for her to be aware of how many predators there are in the world and to be clear about the damage that patriarchy is doing to women and girls.

You should be pleased that she is not naive but interacts with men with her eyes wide open.

Good for her.

Frankly I woukd be proud to have a daughter like her.

Smart kid. She's got her head screwed on right. Better to be suspicious of men than a pick me or people pleaser.

Then he is not so decent, is he. Decent men dont cheat

You don't have to correct her, just acknowledge you are hearing her perspective.
I am reminded of a mum pushing her complaining son on the swing. He was moaning about the unfairness of something or the other and she said "Is that how it feels darling" - It made me laugh. It acknowledged what was being said without actually agreeing it was true. We use that sort of phrasing a lot at our house when we don't want to get into some sort of oppositional discussion.

List the women.

Skipping to the end a bit here, if we all had that attitude, and the people before us did, none of us would be here.

It’s not that it’s a prize, I adopted my son and don’t have any biological children of my own, so that’s evidently not my attitude.

It’s that we would literally eradicate ourselves out of fear of what could be.

It’s not. I would assume that most women have many, many other and more valuable goals.

However if men are to be at least suspected/wary of, why would we be living with them, having families with them, creating more of them?

What about the women like Hilary Clinton etc that were on the Island. All this man bashing makes me sick. I’ll bet most of the women rely on a man. I never have but still think that men are being severely punished.

Being over cautious means she has a better chance of not being raped, abused or killed.

So she doesn’t get married or bear children. Even stays single.

Oh well. Oh dear. Never mind.

I think women need to stop thinking marriage and children are the prize.

It’s far too risky not to use a lot of caution when it comes to getting involved with men.

I'm with your daughter! I hate men too, other than my husband and maybe about 3 mates.

“Out of ten men, one makes a sexual joke at a woman, two laugh, three fake a chuckle to fit in, and four stay silent. None of them speak up. Later, nine of them still believe they're the
"good guys." But from the woman's perspective, the laughter, the silence, the looking away, it all creates the same environment. So when women say "most men are the same," this is what they mean: not that every man harasses women, but that most men help protect the system that does.”

This anonymous post from FB sums up the situation perfectly.