What should I say to my 19 year old daughter who has already decided that she hates men?

Do let me know where they are. Im not holding my breath.

They aren’t though.

All the bullies and sexist pigs l worked with. Hassling women in every way they can.

I guess she may also have had her own experiences to lend to that view, lord knows it happens too often and is on the rise.
I agree with her, she seems smart too. Smart enough too to recognise a good man when she meets them, be in a friend or a partner.

You’ve raised an intelligent daughter aware of her surroundings.
Be saddened by the reality of this being the situation, not trying to push ‘it’s not all men’. Fine, not all, but I’ll go as far as to say most. And certainly enough that it is a huge problem.

She’s right though, just look at the way women and children have been treated since the dawn of time by men, and still are in many countries. Equality has only started coming about very recently and doesn’t exist in many parts of the world because men made and enjoy it that way.

Once you realise that throughout human history men have consistently across almost all countries and societies made it so that women (and children) are second class citizens who they can abuse and exploit, and this is still the case in many counties, you stop seeing it as not all men.

I think as a whole men are awful and unfortunately it’s a very small minority who are genuinely decent, most so called “good men” are sexist and selfish to some degree as the bar is very low, and we’ve been conditioned to see a lot of it as normal.

I’d just be thankful she has her head screwed on and is aware of how the world can be to be honest.

Hopefully in the future (if she wants a male partner), she’ll meet someone who changes that view to “some men” rather than “all men”

This isn’t the gotcha that poster thinks it is

I have a pretty low opinion of men as a class. That’s not the same as ‘hating all men’, and neither is what your daughter has said.

She isn’t wrong though, is she, so it would be really difficult to argue that she shouldn’t hold that view. Most women realise at some point that men - as a class - don’t respect or value women as they do themselves and each other, that they don’t regard us as equals or even as full human beings, and that they pose a danger to our safety. Good on her for catching on so young.

She’s not wrong though is she?

They’re also men, so what’s your point?

Some of us were jaded much earlier. I was fully jaded by 11 after my dad abandoned the family, a teacher sexually abused me at 8, a man asked me 'how much?' while walking home from school in my uniform and then I was sex trafficked by a friend's older brother. I'm more than jaded now after finally escaping with no help from the hundreds of men who raped me. She's right to have a healthy wariness around men, because not all men, but as they commit the vast majority of crimes including raped, murder and pedophillia, and we can't tell which ones are and which ones arent, she needs to have her guard up. You should be pleased she's smart.

You don’t need to say anything. She would most likely ignore what you say anyway. Who on earth listens to their parents when you’re 19 or any age.

I would probably answer her with, fortunately, most men are just normal and do not have power. Those that do and act like Epstein and his cronies are thankfully few and far between.

I’d keep on topic and in this case you can agree with her to a degree, so just focus your reply on the men she’s mentioning. She’ll realise herself in time that it’s not all men.

Sadly i think a lot of men are pretty rubbish. There are some good ones…

She’s right to be appalled at Epstein and just how many men were complicit. It wasn’t a small amount. Like the gisele pelicot case where AT LEAST 50 local men saw fit to rapean unconscious woman.

Many of my friends have daughters in their 30s who are choosing to be single because they have set a reasonable bar and the men they date don't live up to it. My own daughter feels the same - having just come out of a 4 year relationship with a guy who decided to date someone else behind her back she has said 'honestly mum, i'm just happiest when i'm single'
I'm proud of her for not settling

Discuss the Rochdale child sex abuse ring and ask her what her view is on all Pakistani men as a result?

I’d say, “You’re absolutely right. I’m really proud of the woman you’ve become.”

It’s men, not psychopaths. Just men.

I think it would be worth really delving into why you think you “should” say that OP, when statistically speaking men do present the single biggest danger to your daughter’s life. Should she not be wary/disengaged/angry etc as a result?

What? Yes let’s tell her about white women who are abused and groomed by white men to murder children and liken that to Islamophobia.

eh?

Let her have her feelings. She’s right to be disgusted and outraged.