What should I say to my 19 year old daughter who has already decided that she hates men?

Understood!! I'm sorry if I jumped down your throat on that! I think all the misogynistic comments on this thread have riled me up 🫣 Apologies!

I have 2 sons too. I wonder how your sons and their friends treat their girlfriends behind closed doors and I wonder about their porn consumption and content of it.

I think it is an extremely naive viewpoint. Of course our sons are victims of the current (hyper) patriarchal society, but what of the women they 'consume' and have romantic relationships with.

Yes, thats absolutely not what I meant and Im sorry I wasnt clear about that.

It logically follows from your statement, although I'm glad to know you didn't mean it that way.

It does sound victim blaming though, on a thread like this, to say that what needs to change is one's attitude (look for the good!!) and not that the epidemic of men's violence against women is what needs to change.

She's not wrong. I have major side eye at most of the men in my family and friendship circle so whatever all the rest that I've never met are like? Fuctifino!

I don't want to know them.

Most of the male employers I've had have behaved in shocking ways.

I wish we could create a massive island where women that want to only live among women could live. Men could drop in supplies but only by helicopter and then fuck off again! : )

We could all cheer as him and his chopper disappeared over the horizon!

I think it's a valid statement she made tbh. It really is such a headfuck.
We are witnessing a massive uncovering of such unthinkable heinous stuff by so many men, and supported and enabled as ever by plenty of pick me women.

I do have sons and a fairly decent husband too, so I don't think I'm a proper man hater, but it's a bloody challenge.

I wouldn't consider Epstein etc to an example of how ordinary men conduct themselves. Though he's hardly a great advertisement for his sex. Unfortunately women were involved as well. We know about Ghislaine but there were many others too. Not that it makes it any less vile.

But yeah, it's sad that young people have to see such evil. It does make them despair I'm sure.

Thats quite a leap in reasoning. No where did I say or imply that.

Tell her to marry and raise kids with her best friend, and if that happens to be another straight women then they can both just date outside the marriage when they want no strings action. I'm pretty sure this sounds like the perfect set up!

The Dalai Lama asked a child to suck on his tongue.

If you seek evil you will find it. If you look for good, people will surprise you.

I guess abused women and children must just be seeking evil, huh?

Oh look, another one. The bingo card is filling up.

I think you're confused.

What's vile is all the (child) raping, murdering, and abusing that men are nearly entirely responsible for as a demographic.

Unless you're confused about the meaning of the word vile?

Or perhaps, I suppose, you just like (child) rape, and dislike safeguarding.

I would say, for every bad man there is a good man.

Donald Trump - Barack Obama
Jeffrey Epstein - Keanu Reeves
Osama Bin Laden - The Dalai Lama

If you seek evil you will find it. If you look for good, people will surprise you. dont let her lose that beautiful optimism thats inherent in youth....the world needs hope and belief that things can be better xx

That really is complete and utter twaddle.

See to me this is what I would love to see and hear more of. A pp (male) jumped to the defensive and said he avoids women with such low opinions of men, but instead of avoiding; engage, understand, empathise and stand up for women and actively call out shit men like your son has done.

i know I definitely want to see more of this.

there are some wonderful men on TikTok/ Instagram doing much more of this (calling out shit men and standing up for women and understanding their viewpoint) and the comments they get from other men on their posts are just disgusting,

I have found this to be true. I can't believe how the boys behave in my daughters primary school. My daughter and her friends think boys get more horrible the older they are getting and I do find it worrying and very sad.

Ah, we now have the full bingo card of misogynistic arseholes on the thread!

I’m 47 and it’s taken me till my 40s to realise this. I’ve recently been very let down to discover a male colleague who I’ve helped and supported as a friend over 10 years has been a serial cheater to his wife via online dating. It’s not all men but it’s a low bar to pass as one of the decent ones.

Imagine a man posting what you just did about a woman . . .

Absolutely vile.

But think of the poor man having to do the bare minimum bit of safeguarding to make a woman feel comfortable. The poor, poor man. We should all bow our heads in shame for slightly inconveniencing the poor baby. I for one feel thoroughly ashamed of myself for a man potentially having a hurt feeling. The poor, poor thing.

She's 19, no offence but she knows nothing about life or herself at that age.

For every "toxic" man I could show you a dozen absolutely vile, manipulative, emotionally abusive "nice" women. Without a doubt the most hateful, cruel and dangerous people I've ever met have been other women, especially managers. I've seen them ruin other women's careers, marriages, destroy mental health and quite literally ruin lives. It's other women your DD needs to be careful of, not men.

It’s understandable that she feels this way. At 19, she’s likely receiving a good amount of harassment and sexualisation from men that may be backing up her view. I recall the harassment being the worst between the ages of 12-16. The difference nowadays is the presence of social media, where we can see and experience rampant and growing misogyny constantly, even when they’re not being subjected to it in person. And young women are more likely to spend time on social media & be affected by it.

I am a woman who has lovely relationships with a number of men who I trust. I have equal numbers of close male and female friends. However, I would never live with a man again after many experiences of house shares in which even the ‘kindest’ men treated female housemates like housemaids & shouldered none of the mental load.

As a teenager, I struggled to accept my sexuality. Now, I see it as an absolute gift and a privilege to be a lesbian, to most closely share my life and home with another woman. Even if I was bisexual, I think I’d exclusively date women. I am horrified by the behaviour my straight female friends communicate to me about their partners.

This mindset has been developed directly through my life experiences, and that’s despite having strong friendships with men. So of course it’s ’not all men’, but it’s enough men - and she presumably feels hatred at the perceived source of her oppression. I think a lot of us do.

I also hope she meets enough kind men to help her feel less angry, for her own mental health and relationships. But she has reason to feel negative as a young woman in the current times.

I wouldn't feel too sad for your husband, DS and FiL. For every woman who 'hates men' there are scores of others who will defend, protect, pander and fawn over them. Men are still far more loved, exhalted, praised and cared for by women, often to the detriment and self sacrifice of the woman herself than they are hated.
The occasional woman may decide to avoid them, but its vanishingly unlikely that will translate to any harm being done to them. Your husband may have to meet with his female colleagues with the door open, but if thats the most thats asked of him to make a woman feel safe and protect his reputation, its not that onerous compared to the modifications women make to our lives to be safe.
Your son may meet a woman like the OPs DD who might refuse to befriend or date him, but realistically he need not fear she will abuse him in the street, follow him home, rape or assault him in her hatred.
Because 'misandry' is toothless. Women may feel it, talk about it, but they don't tend to act on it in a way that harms men.

only read OP. May i be the 94th person to say stop saying not all men and listen to your daughter?

This post makes me feel sick. The world feels like it's burning some days. And as a man, I instantly want to say 'it's not all men', but then I have also learnt that it's not my place to try and convince you but try and be one of the few good examples for my daughters. My view is increasingly feminist every day, as I strive for equality and a better place. I'm glad I have strong women in my family like my mum and sister for me to talk to for their POV on the world. Personally I would say, it's not your place to convince her she's wrong, but to praise her on being cautious in a dangerous world and showing her love, so that she recognises it when the right guy with the right principles enters her life.