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AIBU?

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Original poster

that weekends and free time are solely about the dc?

216 replies

dampmuddyandcold · 03/02/2026 18:00

So I’ve genuinely been wondering about this a bit because I’ve realised our lives look quite different from our friends. And in fairness all our friends have just one child while we have two which I think does make a big difference.

Our children are two and five. I work two days a week and the other days I have the two year old, we go to groups, walks when the weather is ok and feed ducks, go to the park, sometimes to a little soft play or farm.

At weekends both children have activities like swimming, sports and so on on both mornings and then the afternoons we will generally do something as a family - national trust place or swimming or soft play (depends on weather) sometimes there’s an event like a birthday party.

Friends I made when dc1 was a baby seem to have more of a ‘normal’ life; they go shopping or out for meals or just chill at home.

I guess I’m just wondering - I think if we just had the one five year old maybe our life would be more like that, I don’t know.

If you have young children, what does your ‘free’ time look like?

OP posts:
Original poster
dampmuddyandcold · 03/02/2026 18:19

Kingdomofsleep · 03/02/2026 18:17

We have two, the same age as yours, and our week looks a lot like yours.

I agree that it's completely different if you have one child. My 5yo has a few classmates who are only-children and their week looks very different. One of her friends, also 5yo, often entertains herself for over an hour at a time while her parents both WFH. (We can't do that because of the 2yo). I'm envious of how much easier their lives are, but also I think if I were 5 I'd rather have my dd's life than hers.

That’s a good point and that last sentence has reassured me.

OP posts:
Original poster
dampmuddyandcold · 03/02/2026 18:18

RonsonRaves · 03/02/2026 18:08

They are 2 and 5, the activities are what you choose them to be, if you would rather have one day free, arrange it so that that happens

I wouldn’t exactly but I suppose I’m more wondering at what point it shifts. I mean the point is I could take them to an outlet retail park but I wouldn’t get any shopping done, we could have lunch out but it wouldn’t be massively relaxing so I don’t really get the point. But maybe in a couple of years it will be?

OP posts:
Kingdomofsleep · 03/02/2026 18:17

We have two, the same age as yours, and our week looks a lot like yours.

I agree that it's completely different if you have one child. My 5yo has a few classmates who are only-children and their week looks very different. One of her friends, also 5yo, often entertains herself for over an hour at a time while her parents both WFH. (We can't do that because of the 2yo). I'm envious of how much easier their lives are, but also I think if I were 5 I'd rather have my dd's life than hers.

Original poster
dampmuddyandcold · 03/02/2026 18:17

MissingSockDetective · 03/02/2026 18:12

I think I'd ease off the structured clubs and focus on tume spent doing things as a family. It sounds a bit full on for the children. Imaginative play time is so important.

Well, they do enjoy them. Ds does rugby and swimming and I think both are really important.

DD also does swimming and a little toddler ballet class. She does a language class in the week which sounds pretentious but it’s just a playgroup really. I don’t feel it’s excessive but maybe it is. However I’m not sure I get the purpose of taking them away when they enjoy them and provide them with just positive things. It’s more our family activities I was mulling over.

OP posts:
oustedbymymate · 03/02/2026 18:12

I have a 3 abs 5 year old. Work full time DH shift work 4/4 our free time is either spent as a family or me with the kids if DH working around what the kids do eg something for them. I think two changes the dynamic from one

Original poster
dampmuddyandcold · 03/02/2026 18:12

jannier · 03/02/2026 18:06

If you have 3 days acivly with the youngest they dont need more at a weekend the 5 year old if they do no other after school stuff id do one and take turns with dad to take. If you enjoy the parks, NT etc thats great id keep that but maybe not both days....its okay to have a stay at home play with your toys down time....and children need uncontrolled time to develop their own abilities including going through im bored.

They do and they do get that but not necessarily for one entire day, as to be honest it leads to squabbling and selfishly the house being trashed!

Activities on the days I’m home with DD are varied. Today for example she does a little class in the morning and it’s near to a soft play place so I took her there. But tomorrow she has a playgroup in the morning and we’ll spend the rest of the day at home, apart from the school run,

It’s different in the summer of course.

OP posts:
MissingSockDetective · 03/02/2026 18:12

I think I'd ease off the structured clubs and focus on tume spent doing things as a family. It sounds a bit full on for the children. Imaginative play time is so important.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/02/2026 18:11

I agree with a pp - your life sounds very normal!

I think maybe it’s nice to have one weekend day that doesn’t involve kids’ hobbies if you can, but I know it’s not always possible.

You weekend afternoons sound lovely! You could have the odd afternoon at home, although I realise that’s not terribly relaxing when the kids are so small.

As they get bigger it becomes less daunting to have time just at home, and then all of a sudden it’s actually relaxing and you can sit down with a cup of tea sometimes, even when they’re awake!

Swaytheboat · 03/02/2026 18:11

A five year old will be more willing to go shopping or play at home etc. A two year old needs more tiring out and structure. Probably by the time your youngest is five things will look different.
Our weekends (2yo and 4yo here) are full of kids stuff but no weekly classes - I want flexibility to spend the day at the zoo or beach.

NinaNina83 · 03/02/2026 18:11

We have 2 kids: 3 year old and 7 year old and our weekends are all about them, their activities and we have no time to get anything done at home or anything for ourselves.

CurlewKate · 03/02/2026 18:11

We made sure that both of us had a “untouchable” chunk of child free time at the weekend. Completely essential IMHO.

Sugarsugarcane · 03/02/2026 18:10

Try having older kids where your entire week is spend running them to activities and social stuff, just managing expectations

RonsonRaves · 03/02/2026 18:08

They are 2 and 5, the activities are what you choose them to be, if you would rather have one day free, arrange it so that that happens

itsthetea · 03/02/2026 18:08

Yours sounds like a normal life?

jannier · 03/02/2026 18:06

If you have 3 days acivly with the youngest they dont need more at a weekend the 5 year old if they do no other after school stuff id do one and take turns with dad to take. If you enjoy the parks, NT etc thats great id keep that but maybe not both days....its okay to have a stay at home play with your toys down time....and children need uncontrolled time to develop their own abilities including going through im bored.

Maryamlouise · 03/02/2026 18:05

One of ours has a class on a weekend but prior to that I avoided it so we weren't running around to stuff all weekend. We do weekends away quite a bit, take the DC to our hobbies or do our own hobbies separately, do something as a family or just stay at home for them to play with their toys and us get on with chores etc so a bit of a mix. Birthday parties obviously sometimes but rarely shopping or out for a meal

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