that weekends and free time are solely about the dc?

We have 4 so my entire life revolves around them, ha.
When we had 2 at those ages, we still did go out for meals and things like shopping because it felt enjoyable, but with our youngest 2 it doesn't feel worth the hassle- just different personalities. Our whole Saturday is juggling activities - one has something in the morning so Dad is at home with the other 3 while I take her, then I go home and dad takes the other child out for their activity. (After school things during the week too). We try and do family activities on a Sunday where we can, but definitely have some Sundays just to relax at home. Sometimes my husband will go out with friends on Friday evening or Sunday, while I have all the children.

Do you ever go to the gym, or for lunch or a walk with a friend? I would be a much worse parent without some "me" time, but everyone is different, no need to change if you're all happy as you are.

You are doing far too much, laying on far too much entertainment.

Why not chill at home? Read to them, help them build with blocks/ Lego, let them draw, etc. Children need down time.

We avoid clubs on a weekend as we like to have a lay in and slow morning. We do a lot of family stuff on a weekend though, days out, meals together (we go out for breakfast mainly), nations trust vista, cinema, soft play etc. we very rarely have a day at home. We also go away quite often

My weekends look like yours and have done for years, with activities and clubs just evolving as they grow.

I have some friends who are really good at carving out time for themselves, have nights out etc, but to be honest I have no interest in that anymore anyway.

We often tag team the children and just having one to manage is a dream, and I'd rather do that than have them all day myself on a Saturday and have Sunday "off". They'd much rather it as well.

Because DH works away, we had to ensure our DCs schedule (which is just one sport and Scouts) was all able to be facilitated by me. But it still takes up four evenings and both weekend days (time of year dependent). And because they are teens now, its later evenings. (They can also do as much school based stuff as they want, as I do t need to physically get them there).

It does get easier as they get older, as the one doing the activity doesn't need as much supervision so you can concentrate on the other... and then they get old enough to stay at home.

The activities grow as they get older though... that 45 min rugby session turns into an evening training plus a match up to an hours drive away... then tournaments...
The swimming lesson is 3 club sessions a week... the dance lesson is several different types and a competition. So it also becomes a lot more time consuming.

We try to visit a new museum or art gallery once a month but it’s hard because we’ve covered the vast majority in our county and are now having to expand out to other counties an hour + drive away, even then we’ve covered lots!

The other weekends we take 7 yo DS to chess club, sometimes do junior park run if we can be arsed, go to the library, usually have the odd errand to run like collecting parcels, getting some food bits etc. If the weather is ok we might visit a local NT place or RSPB reserve, take the youngest two out on their scooters at a park.

Your weekends sound normal.

They're tiny, they don't dictate their activities

I’m similar to you but then thought no I’m more like your friend. I don’t allow any extra circular clubs on Saturday or Sundays, DC do tons in the week. They like shopping with me and I like us to chill at home on Sundays especially. I ferry mine round to different social events or we do a child friendly day trip quite often on Saturdays. DH works weekends so inevitably my life is centred around the DC, but I also do what I want at weekends, so we’re somewhere in the middle.

My 3 kids are 5, 10 and 12 and I feel we have way less time than when they were younger as older ones are now competing in the sports that were just for fun when younger and it takes up way more time (football and rugby matches every weekend, swim training for both and frequent swim galas) youngest is now starting a few hobbies so it’s manic. You mention going to a retail park shopping?? I don’t know anyone who does that at a weekend with kids! It’s slightly easier that one of us can take all 3 somewhere like trampolining and the other can have a break if that’s what you mean? I’ve got 3 boys and they need to be out exercising every day (like dogs) or they are a pain!

You sound like lovely parents, really caring about the children and spending time with them. Just enjoy this time, it will pass by so quickly.

If you enjoy the National Trusts and the like keep them up. I have one DC who is 7 and he is pretty much past wandering around gardens at this point. He'd rather be in the park with a football.

But it is an age thing, really. When they are 5 and 8 you should be able to get on with stuff around the house or go out for a coffee with a friend while they amuse themselves/DH is around for them, they'll probably sit and eat a meal in a restaurant or watch a film at the cinema.

My DS does football and rugby on weekends but both are over by 11am and DH and I will get some time to go to the cinema or gym to ourselves.

You're still people, not just parents. IMO it's not healthy to have everything revolving around your children all the time, you'll lose sight of who you are in your own right.

I think you’re too structured for their ages - i thought you were going say the children were older. I think you’re being a bit of a martyr to them. How much does a two year old really enjoy Ruby specifically? Can he understand the rules or would he be just as happy running around the garden with a ball and his family… why does a two year old need to learn to swim - you’re not going to leave him unsupervised regardless for years so couldn’t that wait until he’s older @dampmuddyandcold ?

I have two that are 4 and 2 and they don’t do any structured activities. We have relaxing weekend mornings playing with our toys and they help make breakfast. Walk the dog together. Sometimes meet a friend and their kids for lunch and a play - or their cousins. Infrequently visit to a petting farm or park. Have brunch or lunch out - they both enjoy going out for food. Visit the library etc. Going to furniture shops a lot at the minute as doing some renovation. We involve them and ask them what they like and get them to test out the chairs. We play a lot at home with our toys and in the garden.

I don’t get the current presumption that more activities is better. Time to rest, quality time with parents playing and reading , learning they don’t constantly get to do what they want or constantly be entertained, learning to play on their own - I think these are teaching something much more important than toddler Ruby or soft play tbh.

Mine are 4, 2 and 10 months. I’d say the weekends mainly focus on family time, but I try and limit structured clubs to weekdays as much as possible. We often have a birthday party and we like to go to parkrun, but are otherwise free to do our own family thing. Sometimes this is child-centric, ie. swimming or the park. But we usually do something we would all like, such as a walk and lunch out, or a trip to a cafe to play board games, or a weekend away with friends. Husband and I will take it in turns to go for a run or cycle if he’s not working. He might sometimes see a friend in the evening and I will start to be able to do this when baby is weaned.

I am totally with you that I have to leave the house, though!

Same ages and I wouldn’t say it’s all about the kids. Saturday morning is swimming, sometimes parties on an afternoon. We go for walks with a pub lunch, walk around the shops (Oxford Circus is our nearest so have a wander around Covent Garden and Soho), in the summer we play in the fountains. Sometimes we do DIY (in turns if in the house, or all together in the garden). We usually go out for lunch/dinner one of the days which lasts for a few hours (they both really enjoy a meal out). We also go to garden centres, DIY stores, etc if required.

During the week one of us adults might meet up with a friend. Occasionally on the weekend if it’s a friend from out of town. The children are good sleepers so we always get an evening to ourselves.

Mine are 4 and almost 1 and I would say it's not completely about the kids. We still have lots of friends without kids yet! I probably do something like dinner or theatre etc with friends without my kids every other weekend, maybe one of the evenings or afternoons. DH not so much as he can do more in the week and socialise after work.

We also see family and friends with kids so ours can play and we can have some adult socialising. We maybe do a day out thing once a month. Then DS is in peak birthday party phase so one of us will take him and the other have a break. Definitely no regular clubs! I do think swimming is important but we do it in the school holidays.

So did we.

Most of mine are older now, just a 16 y/o and a 6 y/o at home. We shove our washing in the washer on a Friday night. And literally have 2 duvet days on the sofa most weekends!! Films, box sets, floor is lava etc. My younger one will probably go out with his dad somewhere or swimming but I just chill and potter! On the occasions my partner takes our son away for the weekend, I order my favourite takeaway and watch the scariest thing I can find… but totally blitz the house. I need it empty to clean it!! We’ve never been the groups/soft play/walk type people. In summer this will change as we have a huge garden so will be outside most of the time! I live being home more than anything in the world!

You can have 3 kids and have more time at the weekend for activities if you only work 2 days a week vs 1 child but working full time and less time on weekends becuase you’ve been at work 5 days!’

Also this ^ and I work part time. If you work full time and so does your DH you’re going to spend the weekends running about and the evenings trying to do chores etc.

If you work 2 or 3 days a week then obviously you can do housework on your days off and have a calmer weekend

I have just 1 DC at the moment (one on the way too!) I work 3 days a week and DH works full time. Our weekends are a bit half and half, we do things with our son but we also catch up on cleaning, shopping etc.

I’d say you do a lot of activities but I wouldn’t say your life is abnormal.

I think this is going to be different for each person/family but weekends where DP isn't working I absolutely make sure I meet up with friends and have time for "me". I also give the same to him. Mine are 7 and 9 and at the moment, no weekend activities (apart from non scheduled ones, playdates etc). I did that on purpose but I understand it may not always be possible

Its easy to criticise their weekends when you have 3 days off between Mon-Fri to do whatever you like.

When you're working FT you need downtime at the weekend IMO. Even if your husband is full time and you're part time, if presume he does a lot less in the week because you're able to do the housework and lion share of the childcare. So on weekends hes not expected to run about and do a load of chores.

Its not about having 2 DC instead of 1 its about the actual work life balance factor.

DH and I each have half day to ourselves each weekend. And we only do one “family trip out” at most per weekend and not every weekend. So I think we’re probably a bit more like your friends than you.
But I assume you enjoy the stuff you do? So why care what others do?