that weekends and free time are solely about the dc?

I would make family time in the afternoon something that you would enjoy more than softplay if the kids are getting a kid specific activity in the morning. So walk and farmers market, meet up with friends and kids for lunch or an early dinner, park trip with a stop at a nice coffee shop, just some time at home in the garden or playing inside if the weather is bad. Maybe alternate weekends you try and get some time off to yourself too!

caveat I do only have one DC at the moment and that’s what weekends look like for us, another on the way but will try and keep this routine although appreciate it may get harder to do so!

Why can't you read or relax? I read my book on a weekend while the kids play, or watch their TV/film etc. kids need downtown and unstructured time for their imagination

We has just one until DD was almost 5... never felt run off my feet like I do now with an 8 and 3 year old.
If there are 2 parents you still have a
so much more time To yourselves as you split the load and there are far fewer demands on your time.

My DH would go to the gym early on Saturday and then come back have breakfast then take the kids back to the pool for a couple hours. Then home and they’d play, go to a party whatever. Sunday we tended to either have my parents over for Sunday lunch if they were in the country or perhaps go for a drive to some pub. Kids would run around in the beer garden. They didn’t have many organised activities that young - my DD did do ballet for a year or two at some point. But we just were together as a family, which didn’t always mean going out and ‘doing’, though I think it was a rare weekend we didn’t end up doing something.
Im not sure if having just one child would have changed any of that, in fact can’t imagine it would! I’d be making sure the child wasn’t always in the company of adults doing adult things.

I usually have Saturday morning/lunch and he has Sunday evening as free time. I will go to the cinema, shopping, to a gallery or have lunch with a friend. My husband will usually go to yoga at some point and spend Sunday evening having a bath/chilling. I sometimes go to a party or an event one evening.

This still leaves plenty of family time. Husband will take our son swimming or we will all go to the woods or to a playground or into town. We almost always have Sunday lunch together. We do family discos at home.

It’s a nice balance, I like it. If we have two kids I don’t think we’d get as much free time and that is one of the many reasons we are one and done! So I agree with you that having one child does probably make weekends different.

My GC (11 & 8) don't do clubs, they go through phases of wanting to go swimming, then hating it. It's, age, whether they get on/having one child and personality. We split the children, regularly. I'll take the youngest to soft play/bounce/craft activities etc, the eldest loves an afternoon at Costco or the Trafford Centre. The eldest never liked Nursery or the stuff you do. She likes reading and sketching. I had the youngest on a similar schedule as you, she loved being in groups. Both do get taken shopping and on buses. They go on lots of holidays and breaks. I think that it's good for them to be out in the world, when they get to 5+ and not just in organised groups, were everyone has to follow the rules.

My next door neighbours must struggle with watching films only suitable for adults as all children are up way past 11pm most nights. That would absolutely do my head in! You need some time to yourself as a parent.

I have wrongly assumed most parents want a break to watch what they like on TV that is only suitable for adults. Maybe it's a different set up with blended families though.

(Almost) 7yo and a 3yo here. We do all activities during the week, bar Saturday school in my native language for the 7yo.

The 3yo has one day off nursery and that's when she does gymnastics and swimming (while the elder one is in school), no other clubs. The 7yo does 5 different clubs across 3 days after school and just a normal after school club on the other 2 days. His Saturday school is only 3 hours in the morning and we purposely signed him up for one near MIL, so we combine it with seeing the wider family most weeks.

Sundays is a day off from all structured activities. Sometimes we catch up on housework, sometimes we do a day out, sometimes we have friends over for the day and sometimes we just have a chill day playing at home and watching movies. DH and I both do FT shift work and our weeks can be a bit manic trying to work around school/nursery run and all kids activities, so it was important for me to have a proper day off with no expectations.

my kids are young adults now but they never had that many structured activities growing up. Definitely none at 2 years old. We spent a lot of our weekends together but we would go to the supermarket, the library, the park, bake, cook, go out for lunch, they would play at home or at friend's houses etc. They didn’t trash the house and they knew how to behave in restaurants (grew up in France and Belgium). They were just part of my normal life. If I needed to buy food, off we went. If I needed a new library book, off we went. If they needed new clothes, off we went. if the car needed a wash, off we went.

Why can they not just be immersed in daily life rather than have such structured lives that seem to only consist of making them so tired that they don’t have the energy to do normal things?

We have 3 age 3-10 and work full time, they like their sport so that’s our weekends. All of it. It’s a full time job and once they are in competitive teams you don’t miss games, plus if they are a key team member in team sports you’re letting the team down by missing. So dh and I split up and take them to various games. I went to the 10yos sat game last week and he went to the 7yo, he was coaching so I took the 3yo with me, Sunday we do same, this week sat I’ll go to the 7yo and he will go to the 10yos…

My next door neighbours have four DC ages 13, 11, 9 and 4 and they don't do anything at all at weekends. Except get forced to stay up late through the night when the parents have friends over drinking. My eldest hears them through the party wall. The youngest crying with exhaustion. Most 4yo children usually are fast asleep at 2am...

It seems there can be extremes of doing loads to keep children happy with sports or parents make sure they do what they want all weekend which is long lie to the detriment of the children and their needs.

Adults need relaxation time too. You don't stop being a person just because you have children. Free time should fit in what all the family members want to do, not just the children. One of you can cycle for a few hours on one day, do kid stuff as well, the other weekend day one of you goes for a walk with friends, plus there are all the household jobs. I'd probably do less "as a family" to ensure the adults keep up with their hobbies and friends. A whole weekend of family stuff is not much more fun than being at work, you need a mix. Adults need some time to be adults without acting as a parent.

Affordability probably wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have your kids signed up to so many clubs
Every person is different. I am still my own person with my own interests outside of a being a parent, the thought of spending all my spare time on kids activities week in week out sounds rubbish to me, but others like you OP may be happy. I'd rather pay for my gym membership, go out with my friends once a week etc. I'm a better parent for having time away from the kids

As your kids are tiny the activities are what you choose them to be. You don’t have to sign them up for clubs both weekend days. It’s different when they’re older children or teens and their hobbies are things they’re genuinely passionate about, you make the sacrifice, but tiddlers don’t really care. They’ll be happy doing as much or as little as you want them to.

I have one dc and we spend most of the week doing school and clubs so when it's the weekend, yeah, we like a family film, loaded hot chocs, brunch/roast, baking together for the school lunches for the week ahead, baths and brunches.

We used to do it your way before school and clubs. Using brain energy to learn hits different imo and dc needs to rest.

Sports class on Saturday 9am for the teen (15) and sport match for DC 10 & 8 at 10am.

No rest at weekends for us🤷‍♀️

Look, do whatever you actually enjoy! It doesn’t matter if it looks like anyone else’s ‘normal’. We have one child. When he was five, weekends were mostly a combination of whatever I felt like doing and DH’s job, which meant being away in different parts of the UK, so we often went with him, so it was a set of compromises between child-centric stuff, if available, always a gallery or museum for me, one of us might go to a gig while the other stayed in with DS in the hotel, and sometimes we’d stop off somewhere together on the way home.

We both worked FT in demanding jobs, so definitely needed me time at weekends.

Certain choices have been made (presumably by adults), life changed accordingly.
Full stop.

I don't think shopping or eating lunch out with a 2 and 5 year old would be remotely enjoyable to be honest! We did a mix at weekends when ours were small - sometimes swimming or picnic at local country park or walk/scooter/bike in the woods and play in the park. Sometimes just paddling pool/sandpit in the garden, friends round for a bbq etc obviously in the warmer months!

Your weekends sound lovely and I wouldn't worry about whether others do things differently - it's what works for your family that's important.

One 4 year old and we do family time or we do time to ourselves.

We do have "date" time but usually when she's asleep!

If you're happy, and they're happy, don't worry what other families are doing. Do what works for you.

I wasn't very good at this but I think it's important to have your own interests too, even if it's just once a month or something.