that weekends and free time are solely about the dc?

Yes it is
but you gave two
we have two they are teens now and yes most of our leisure time and money is all about them

that’s ok though we chose to have them we can’t think of any better reasons to spend time and money on

it’s just what happens you can get frustrated from it or just lean in and enjoy it

once ours were a bit older they started to play together and watching their relationship grow was also fun

This is really interesting / reassuring.

DP and I are aligned on only having 1 child and your description of your weekend away with your 5 y/o is precisely the kind of family life we envisage and hope for. 😊

My weekend this weekend will look like

Saturday - 9.30 football match for DS2 (5)
11.30 football match for DS1 (9)
3pm indoor cricket match for DS1
sunday 8.30 - swimming lesson for both DS, 1 hour visit with my grandparents, mass, and then DH and DS1have season tickets for a premier league club and they will be at the football and me and DS2 will be at home

if we want to go out especially together we have to work out whether children can still get to their activities

I have one child and when he was young, weekends were all about him and I loved it. We had some brilliant adventures together. It should be noted he can't remember very much of it at all.

I think whatever your family is happy with, is the right thing to do. There isn't a right or wrong way.

My kids aren't noisy 24/7. And if they are being noisy then either I move rooms or they get told to go somewhere else in the house.

We have a 3 and 7 year old and weekends are all about the dcs and family time. We've chosen it to be that way, we like spending time together and there's not enough time in the week. We do some scheduled activities and some trips out, usually to an activity that we can all enjoy (museums, galleries, concerts, theatre, historic houses), not just kid's activities all the time.

My youngest has been in preschool since she was 2 so I have some child-free time in the week for my own interests (I work freelance a few hours a week) and I'm happy to view weekends as family time and don't feel the need to have any more time on my own. In our area it's the norm to have some weekend classes but more parents work ft so they tend to carve out some solo time for themselves. I wouldn't like that though as it would shorten the time that we have for trips out, to the extent that we couldn't do some of them once you factor in the classes and travel time.

I don’t think one size fits all, it’s impossible to say. My kids are now adults. We had two small boys once upon a time, they are 3 years apart.
weekends were noisy, loud, messy and involved lots of clubs , walking through muddy woods, parks, swimming, beach walking/running,museums, national trusts, visiting grandparents (if just to get to sit down for 5 mins whilst granny took over 😆!) it was loud, chaotic and busy.

And my kids were the sort of boys who needed that and they got used to that. Almost like a dog who is used to running miles will want and expect that ….and a dog who stays in and sleeps all day will get used to that too. But my kids needed to run off that energy.

I’ve taught kids in my school career who never go outside. They’re delicate girls who enjoy drawing and dressing up. They’re boys who are happy to stay in pjs and play Lego, build dens, watch films etc. none of them are right or wrong. You do what you think is right at the time.

i had a boy in my class years ago whose family loved restaurants. And that was totally his life. He really knew no different from a young age. Every weekend was taking up with varying degrees of restauranting and eating.

every child is different.

Get used to it. On a positive note they start going out alone in their teens

You need to do things that fill your own cup too. Go to the retail park as a family but leave the kids with DH for a bit while you browse on your own. Find pubs with play areas or bring lots of colouring etc so you can have lunch together.

Our smallest play together at the weekends. We've got a nice garden, and they tend to ferret about whatever the weather. After a week of school, I don't think they need scheduled activities every weekend, but if they have shown a particular interest, we might take a trip accordingly. DD got into fossils last year so we went to a few pebble beaches to find some little ones.

There's a birthday party probably once a month, but until they're older and highlight their own interests, we don't have regimented clubs. They need to play and let off steam.

We have a 3yo and a 5yo and I've noticed the older one's friends who don't have a younger sibling tend to do more activities geared to their age, while our weekends are mainly doing family stuff that's also suitable for the little one. We also prioritise downtime playing at home because we think it's good for their relationship to have plenty of time to hang out and build dens and be superheros together. I took my 5yo for a weekend away and we did museums, sightseeing, restaurants, some shopping, so I think if we only had him, we would definitely spend our time differently.

My kids are 3 & 5 and they don't do any weekend activities, although we are considering one morning class they could both go to as the make a lot of mess and squabble when in the house for too long.
My kids quite like the pub - if you find a family friendly one and get them a meal or something crisp and a fruit shoot everyone's happy!
My husband and I usually get a gun session or park run in each on the weekend.
Could you sometimes just take 5 year old out? Divide and conquer works well for us, each child gets some one on one attention

What are the weekend activities that a 2 and 5 year old do?!

Mine did swimming lessons from 4 but the rest of the weekend was doing what we fancied and the kids enjoyed coming along - food shopping, seeing friends/family, playing at home while we did jobs, etc.

We also got into the habit of seeing friends once a month and we'd take turns to meet at each other's houses for drinks and food. Good times!

OP sounds like you have a routine that suits you - that’s all that’s important! We keep weekends half ish kids and half ish us as adults for ourselves and friends cos that’s what keeps me sane. So much of my week is work, and entirely child led. I love the time unscheduled. We’ve tried kids classes at the weekends and I hated it. Hence our current plan. But…there isn’t a perfect answer. If your current set up works for you - keep doing it. BUT it’s not because you have two kids. It’s because you chose to prioritize their activities over your own. And that’s ok.

We ensured any clubs our little ones go to are on weekday evenings. On the weekend DH has a lie in one morning and I the on the other. We visit family or friends on weekends and go on day trips or just things like walks in the woods or to the park, or they play in the garden and we have my adult children around for Sunday lunch and family board games. Some of us are ND though so we have to keep space for proper downtime, and we etched out the weekends for that. At least one weekend day is spent at home relaxing however fits us best at the time.

We’ve a nearly 2, 4 and 5 year old. Weekend mornings they’ll get up - we set them up and they’ll have cereal toast and ther fruit themselves for food and play colour or watch tv for a bit (limited screen time midweek so they love it). We’ll often get back into bed ourselves and grab an hour chat and/or rest (with an ear to them of course). House is wreaked but I love the time together. Then coffee clean up. Dressed and out the door either to a kids birthday party or a family walk/hike/adventure. We try to do jobs first then fun (but both work midweek so often the jobs are essentials like food shop or other practical bits!). About once a month we’ll split this up so one of us has free time. Sat evenings we try to have a babysitter once a month for date night OR sometimes just crash and sleep early especially if it’s been a busy work week. Sunday often one of us exercises and then swaps - sometimes the other stays at home with the kids, sometimes we’ll go out depends on the weather. Sunday afternoon often meet friends with their kids or host. Back to the grind Monday.

It works - 1) by always putting laundry in before bed or leaving the house 2) by loving a slow cooker meal and sometimes spending Sunday am prepping food to batch cook - again stuff usually in the oven before the play date/friends time. 3) we do find it easier with our friends with kids than with those without BUT we try to see those without on Friday eves or split the midweek nights to see them (eg dinner with a friend). 90% of the time only one of us does bedtime. Kids to organised classes afterschool but not at weekends. Nursery age kids don’t need classes (I’ve a day at home a week with the little one and do things either just him then, and condense hours and work opposite shifts to make sure we can collect the kids two days a week from school at normal pick up time - so those days are swimming days!)

I think it’s really poor to make the whole weekend entirely “about the children”. Adults in a family are equally deserving of some focus and attention. And everyone needs some down time. But it’s not clear to me whether you and DH have any time to yourselves or 1:1 with your 5yr old or get to do things you want rather than just the children.

If you and DH are getting the time you need too, then I don’t see anything terribly wrong with your weekend.

I would say, though, that even if you can get all the chores done in the week on your days “off”, your 5 year old would still benefit from accompanying you or DH while you do them. Taking kids with you doing all the things that keep family life ticking over is quality time that is an important part of building their skills and confidence as they age. The older they get the harder it is to introduce it. Way better to start when they are young and just make it part of life.

I got no peace years ago when they were small. Hilarious thinking I would get peace to read a book with children around if they're not asleep 🤣

Good if you could do it. Not all of us can concentrate with noisy children around.