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Original poster

AIBU to not feel that 1 year alcohol free is an accomplishment? Feel flat about it all

31 replies

1year · 03/02/2026 15:59

DH pointed out today that it has been over a year now since I last drank alcohol. When I first started trying to quit a year seemed impossible but now that I have I feel very hard on myself that it isn't that big a deal at all. That I should have 'got it' sooner. I could go 4 / 6 / 11 months without a drink at times.

Basically life imploded in 2019 I went to rehab. I had been a 'wine lover' until 3 months before rehab when things got way out of hand and I needed to go.

2020 - months off/ 'slip' for 2 ish days. Went to a Mental Health hospital. Really started getting to the core. But still so much I could not comprehend.

2021 - 3 miscarriages, each followed by a brief slip - always sober other wise
2022 - Baby no 1 - sober bar 2 nights when I thought I'd try it out. Not good for me. Very bad PPD
2023 - When life got very hard I had I think 3 slips total ( 2ish days each). Another miscarriage being one.

2024 - Baby no 2 arrives. Extreme PPD I mean worrying to the biggest degree. Ended up finally getting counselling. About 4 days total drinking that year

2025 - January so so so much trauma coming out of counselling + ADHD, who knew! Felt like I was totally worthless = 2 days slip. After thought no this time will be different.

Rest of year = so much counselling and still at it, I go to one that is specifically for adults abused as children.

Finally started to accept what had happened to me and that it was not my fault. I can see that all my prior 'slips' were when that hurt had no where to go. That I actually do deserve to be happy. I genuinely used to have zero self esteem, not that you'd have said that if you met me.

But I feel guilty over all the time I wasted getting here. DH says it was just that I wasn't there during the slips. I would go to our bedroom and shut the world out. But that outside of the slips, over those years we had a good life.

2025 had a LOT of difficulties but I have faced them without alcohol. Something I would have thought completely impossible 7 years ago.

I think I need to be a bit less hard on myself.

YABU - 1 year is a well done moment
YANBU - It is not something to be proud of

OP posts:
Original poster
1year · 03/02/2026 16:07

Thank you. I think that some of it is that I just feel like I am making excuses as well for what happened. A lot of older style help/ advice to me felt like shame based. Which I really started to take in. But I actually needed to 'undo' all the shame I was carrying inside that did not belong to me.

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 03/02/2026 16:07

You absolutely are being too hard on yourself! You are being hard on yourself thinking you could have done it before now but you didn't have the tools then to do it!

You've had a few slips over the years granted, but they all seem quite small in the grand scheme of it. You sound like you have a very supportive husband.

A year sober might be not a big deal to someone who generally never drinks or never had trouble with alcohol (be it the quantum, the effect it has, the effect on others, whatever it may be be).... but to the same tune that running a 10k might not be a big deal to someone who runs 9k every day. It's just "a little extra". But if someone who struggled to or sometimes fell over, ran 10k you'd be delighted for them. You have fallen over in prior years but you've done your 10k now!

You've also shown yourself you can do it. So do it again if that's what's in your best interests! 🥰

Londonrach1 · 03/02/2026 16:06

It's amazing op so congratulations x

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 03/02/2026 16:06

Yes you should be so bloody proud of yourself.

Many of us without the challenges you have faced would struggle to go as long.

It sounds like you have been doing really well and working really hard since rehab tbh. Yes you have slipped up, but you have then got back sober. Every single time you did that is a win. Every day you choose sobriety is a win and there gave been lot of those.

VimFuego101 · 03/02/2026 16:04

I think that’s a pretty phenomenal achievement, honestly. You should be proud.

JustAnotherWhinger · 03/02/2026 16:01

1 year is absolutely a well done moment!

And I agree with you - you should be less hard on yourself.