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Original poster

Don’t know how to feel about my dates ‘joke’

69 replies

Mavej · 03/02/2026 14:57

I have NC’d for this.

I am currently dating someone I met online. We’ve met three times in person and all going well.

Last night we were messaging and I said I’ve not been with a man intimately since I lost my husband 4 years ago so feel a bit nervous about when things progress.

His initial reply was really kind and understanding, but he then sent a follow up which I feel uneasy about. He said ‘it sounds like I may need to invest in some waterproof covers if it’s been that long 😂’

It was late last night and I haven’t replied yet. He hasn’t said anything else but knew I was going to be up early for work.

Am I having a sense of humour failure or is that a joke which goes a bit too far?

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 03/02/2026 15:04

Oh gross! So insensitive. Yuck.

Diamondsareagirlsbestfrien · 03/02/2026 15:04

I think you opened up slightly and told him how you feel, which I’m so sorry for your loss and I can understand your anxiety after 4 years.

He should have sent the compassionate response and left it… that message is icky!!

cordeliavorkosigan · 03/02/2026 15:03

I think eww but I have a friend who would be all in for the more explicit back and forth with crude sex stuff. Yuck
. She thinks it's great though and a fun flirtation
She is around 30 but I'm older.

Rainbowdottie · 03/02/2026 15:03

I think it’s a very misplaced statement as a sense of humour. If you’re offended by it, you’re offended by it, regardless of what other people think (good or bad).
Personally I think it’s crass and particularly from someone I don’t really know . It would make me question would I want to know. But someone else will have no problem with it I guess.

it’s definitely not something to say after being told the person you’re talking to has slight nerves after losing her husband

Basquervill · 03/02/2026 15:03

I would assume he isnt going to be a very good lover. Maybe watches porn rather than relates to real partners. Very very unrealistic assumption that you will be squirting in ecstasy, very very crass.

icequeenelsa · 03/02/2026 15:03

Depends really. It wasn’t especially funny or sensitive especially given the context. But if he’s an otherwise good guy I wouldn’t write it off completely over a bad joke. He may have been trying to diffuse an awkward moment.

KilkennyCats · 03/02/2026 15:02

LadyOfACertainAge · 03/02/2026 15:01

I don’t even get it.

Me neither.

Idontthinkibelonghere · 03/02/2026 15:01

Yuck!!

Original poster
Mavej · 03/02/2026 15:01

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 03/02/2026 15:00

How old is he?

36

OP posts:
LadyOfACertainAge · 03/02/2026 15:01

I don’t even get it.

Pausedandwaited · 03/02/2026 15:01

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 03/02/2026 15:00

How old is he?

Parsleyforme · 03/02/2026 15:00

I think different people would take it different ways, some would find it silly while others would see it as insensitive. I would personally think that he doesn’t have a brilliant grasp of how sex works for women’s bodies and I don’t know if I could be bothered with that

bellinisurge · 03/02/2026 14:59

You deserve better

MyMilchick · 03/02/2026 14:59

bit gross and badly timed considering what you just told him

FaceEatingLeopard · 03/02/2026 14:59

WTF does that even mean? Does he think you’re going to piss the bed or something?

Notsosweetcaroline · 03/02/2026 14:59

Yeah my mouth dropped open there, that’s just really cringe and pervy.

Beekman · 03/02/2026 14:59

I’d get the ick too OP. Bin him.

cherrymauve · 03/02/2026 14:57

🤢

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