She’s wrecking marriages and not sure what I can do

It’s the men she’s sleeping with that are wrecking their marriages, not her. Their marriage is on them, not your single friend.

She’s ended her marriage and can do what she likes. Stay. Out. Of. It.

Perhaps I'll go shag someone despite being married. It's not solely my responsibility so that makes it easier. I can't say no and all those men just shouldn't make it possible for me.

Awww. Poor menz. How could they resist? ... oh yes, easily. They're faithless twats.

What's the point of all the debate about the responsibility of these cheating men? The OP is not friends with them. She doesn't know them at all. The OP's "friend", who is knowingly shagging married men, is being really mean and either you're good enough friends to be able to say that or you're not and so... let the "friendship" drop. You don't like her behaviour and you're not close enough to call her on it. You are not friends.

The ones who shagged her obviously couldn’t!

The poor dears! They had no choice! Their marriage vows are entirely in the hands of other people! I hope their wives all stayed with them; after all, they couldn't say no so how could anyone blame them!

I'm surprised women don't rule the world given how much power we supposedly have where men are nothing but passive victims with no agency!

Oh, and to be crystal clear, it's the slutty men who are wrecking their own marriages. She sounds gross, but they are cheaters and 100% to blame for their own choices and can very definitely always say No.

The ones who shagged her obviously couldn’t! To be fair, they pretty much all ditched her after sex, none developed into anything longer term, again not for the want of trying on her part. There really seemed to be some mad drive for drama & excitement, without giving a thought to anyone who might get hurt along the way. Not someone I wanted to continue being friends with.

They couldn't say no?

Men, not males - a male human is a man.

You can choose not to be friends with her but otherwise it’s none of your business.

You may be right. This isn't what they normally choose to do but it's always possible.

Or maybe after 30 years of lousy sex, and being made to feel totally unattractive, she's determined to have a good time, and not considering anybody else in her quest. None of OPs business either way.

The cheating scumbag types who she threw herself all over. They’re still scum but I do expect better from friends, so when our moral codes are so mis-aligned, then I’ll back away.

1. Very distant friend
2. Females

It's none of your business. Also, she's not the one cheating, the men she is sleeping with are choosing to cheat/wreck their own marriage. Don't paint her as the amoral one.

You're perfectly right to judge her - everyone judges all the time, people here are judging you because they want to excuse her terrible behaviour, it's human nature and an evolutionary strategy to use judgement, it helps us stay safe.

But there's nothing you can do about her grotty choices.

Just slowly ghost her into non existence.

It's good that you don't have access to the wives of these cheating men - I understand the wish to tell them what their horrible husbands are up to but you don't know them and so don't know if doing so would be an act of care or harm in their particular circumstances.

Your say you are not close enough to this "friend" who's carelessly sleeping with multiple married men to try to reason with her. Well... then, you are not real friends. Her behaviour disgusts you, she's a "distant" friend to whom you are not close. Drop the friendship. Will she notice or care? If she does, be straight with her: I know you've had a hard time of things but I find the fact that you are willingly sleeping with married men gross and a friendship dealbreaker for me.

Arguably all the men could have said no

Arguably? Which ones couldn't?

You could try denouncing her on the village green, or better still have her clapped in the stocks for a bit. Or, and I realise this is an unattractive option, you could just neb out.

Lucky lady. IME, recent widows tend to be shunned and not invited any more. And frankly, if this woman is in her fifties, as seems likely after a 30-year marriage, I can’t really see her being in massive demand. Are you perhaps imagining some of this?

Females? Are you the dad from friday night dinner?

You don’t have to listen to her stories of her sex life, but no I wouldn’t tell anyone.

Referring to women as “females” always makes me think of the Ferangi from Star Trek. Horribly misogynistic way to speak about women.

Your friends actions are none of your business and nothing you can do anyway. Leave it alone.

I know someone who did that. Had sex with her family friend and manager's husband. Had an affair with a married man. Met in hotels for sex with randoms. Sex with work colleagues...

She told me herself. She loved every minute of it. Not a thing I could do about it.

I let a close friendship go for exactly the same behaviour (albeit after 10 years of marriage). I didn’t care who she shagged except when she actively pursued married men, especially ones she worked with. It was like she was on a mission to prove she could have any man she wanted - potentially understandable as she felt very rejected as her husband left her but going after someone in a relationship, was totally against everything I stand for.

Arguably all the men could have said no, and quite a few did, but disappointedly (if not surprisingly) many took her up on her offer. Horrible all round & I backed off significantly as I couldn’t condone her actions.

Well you don’t really know her so……..

Pretty sure it's the men who are ruining their marriages!