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Original poster

To think parents en masse should have tried to hold the line and not give under-16s social media?

118 replies

Carla786 · 02/02/2026 18:43

I'm Gen Z and was not allowed a smartphone until I was 16 (primarily because my mother was worried her estranged & abusive ex would use it to stalk me) I was furious with her about this for ages & it did cause some difficulties but ultimately I'm grateful I didn't have one. A lot of drama & upset at my school seemed to be fuelled by WhatsApp, among other issues I've seen SM cause among my friends and wider peer group.

I know it's extremely hard especially when all other children have them...what was needed was a collective effort. If smartphones had never been allowed for under 16s, I think the current explosion in mental health issues, and related issues like online misogyny and ROGD would be far weaker.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 04/02/2026 00:35

PerksOfNotBeingAWallflower · 04/02/2026 00:07

My friend works for the police and one girl whose parents had done everything right had been given an old iPhone by a friend. If they want to, children find a way.

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At least a school phone ban would prevent them using it inside school. You can't cover every base but that doesn't mean nothing can be done.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 04/02/2026 00:30

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 04/02/2026 00:19

My DC's secondary school banned phones 3 years ago. Most schools locally are now following suit.

Unfortunately children can and do still get caught up in Whatsapp bullying etc outside of school.

Things are getting better, slowly; I'd say more like 90% of children have phones age 12 around here whereas it was more like 97% a few years ago. My DC is y8 and doesn't have a phone yet. Luckily they've begrudgingly accepted that for now, but it's hard as a parent to take a stand when most parents have given their DC phones. That's why I back government action on this.

I agree, I know it's very hard when there's so much pressure. I suppose a compromise could be giving a phone that can text but has no Internet?

OP posts:
Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 04/02/2026 00:22

Carla786 · 04/02/2026 00:17

Yes...I mean I've recently read about the years of tumblr when it was a Wild West. This started a lot of girls onto trans issues as well as just a lot of inappropriate material. I get parents gave computers for various sensible reasons, but the amount of teens who weren't monitored during a time when the Internet was evolving wildly is very disturbing. I know parents are busy but for years marketers were essentially allowed free rein over many children & teens.

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When I was in 5th or 6th from and the internet was nascent (mid-late 90s) one of my friends was regularly in chatrooms saying God knows what to much older guys in America using the one internet enabled school computer!

At least we're more aware of the dangers these days.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 04/02/2026 00:19

My DC's secondary school banned phones 3 years ago. Most schools locally are now following suit.

Unfortunately children can and do still get caught up in Whatsapp bullying etc outside of school.

Things are getting better, slowly; I'd say more like 90% of children have phones age 12 around here whereas it was more like 97% a few years ago. My DC is y8 and doesn't have a phone yet. Luckily they've begrudgingly accepted that for now, but it's hard as a parent to take a stand when most parents have given their DC phones. That's why I back government action on this.

Original poster
Carla786 · 04/02/2026 00:17

MindYourUsage · 04/02/2026 00:11

And Spain's!

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Good for Senor Sanchez!

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 04/02/2026 00:17

HopSpringsEternal · 03/02/2026 23:45

Sadly there are so many parents that just let their kids spend hour online doing whatever they want. Then are surprised that mental health issues are through the roof and their kids are unfit and unsocial.

Yes...I mean I've recently read about the years of tumblr when it was a Wild West. This started a lot of girls onto trans issues as well as just a lot of inappropriate material. I get parents gave computers for various sensible reasons, but the amount of teens who weren't monitored during a time when the Internet was evolving wildly is very disturbing. I know parents are busy but for years marketers were essentially allowed free rein over many children & teens.

OP posts:
Original poster
Carla786 · 04/02/2026 00:13

PerksOfNotBeingAWallflower · 04/02/2026 00:04

My children are 26 and 24 now and in year 6 after Christmas for each of them I was informed that they were the only ones in the whole year without a phone. Whilst parents are giving 10/11 year olds phones because of perceived peer pressure nothing will change.

A ban on having them in school would help during school hours at least. Unluckily a lot of schools encouraged phones for various things but I think they're seeing the cost is too much.

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 04/02/2026 00:12

Completely agree, OP. It should be as much a "thing" as rear facing car seats. Stocks for any parent giving their child a smartphone in primary school. 🧽

MindYourUsage · 04/02/2026 00:11

Carla786 · 02/02/2026 19:36

That's a very good idea. There have been interesting Guardian reports on schools here which banned phones. This I suppose would have solved the problem for parents as it would have eliminated the worry of exclusion, at least within school.

I hope other countries follow Australia's lead...

And Spain's!

Stock image of three young people looking at their phones in a park.

Spain announces plans to ban social media for under-16s

Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez says the move will protect children from the "digital Wild West".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y2nddvmryo

PerksOfNotBeingAWallflower · 04/02/2026 00:07

PixellatedPixie · 02/02/2026 19:13

My 13 year old has an iPhone but it has no social media apps and it is blocked from having any apps added to it unless I put in a password on my phone that only I know. So she has the benefit of Find Friends and Maps etc but no social media at all.

My friend works for the police and one girl whose parents had done everything right had been given an old iPhone by a friend. If they want to, children find a way.

PerksOfNotBeingAWallflower · 04/02/2026 00:04

My children are 26 and 24 now and in year 6 after Christmas for each of them I was informed that they were the only ones in the whole year without a phone. Whilst parents are giving 10/11 year olds phones because of perceived peer pressure nothing will change.

Lambington · 04/02/2026 00:00

YANBU. The collective failure in parenting over the last 15 or 20 years has been appalling. History will record a lost generation.
Very sad.

HopSpringsEternal · 03/02/2026 23:45

Sadly there are so many parents that just let their kids spend hour online doing whatever they want. Then are surprised that mental health issues are through the roof and their kids are unfit and unsocial.

Mungomango · 03/02/2026 23:42

My kids are 16 and 14 and both are on social media. We did resist adding social media apps for quite a while (most of their friends were on Snap etc by the age of 11) but it got to the point where they were missing out on class chats and social connections. It would have been great to have connected with other parents to try to resist it for longer, but I doubt many of them would have been onboard with it (I could be wrong, but that's my gut feel).

tonyhawks23 · 02/02/2026 19:41

There is a collective movement,the smartphonefree childhood.our kids don't need social media,same as pp said you can have the benefits of a phone without social media.

Original poster
Carla786 · 02/02/2026 19:36

That's a very good idea. There have been interesting Guardian reports on schools here which banned phones. This I suppose would have solved the problem for parents as it would have eliminated the worry of exclusion, at least within school.

I hope other countries follow Australia's lead...

OP posts:
PixellatedPixie · 02/02/2026 19:13

My 13 year old has an iPhone but it has no social media apps and it is blocked from having any apps added to it unless I put in a password on my phone that only I know. So she has the benefit of Find Friends and Maps etc but no social media at all.

Hoplittlesbunnieshophophop · 02/02/2026 19:11

I don't disagree but one of the issues is that most parents feel the same but assume that their kid will be the only one without one and will get bullied etc.

There's a movement at the moment called 'smartphone free childhood' to help solve that problem and help parents band together rather than feeling isolated. I've signed the pact for my child's reception class.

Give it a Google if you've got kids, there are groups across the country