To think parents en masse should have tried to hold the line and not give under-16s social media?

So should we allow 12-year-olds to drink so they can learn to handle their alcohol?

10-year-olds driving cars because otherwise how will they learn?

Maybe 7-year-olds should have credit cards because otherwise how will they ever learn to manage finances?

Such a stupid argument.

The issue I have with the SF free childhood is that the movement actively promotes a child having WhatsApp on a home computer. It just seems so unnecessary.

Mine has a nokia dumbphone. It doesn't have WiFi access. And her sim has no data.

I'm.gonna try and keep it like this as long as possible.

Will probably have to get a smartphone once in college.

As I think if she goes to uni and gets one for the first time it may be too much.

Better to get it when she's still at home.

So gonna try and avoid until college.

What kind of school do they go to? Do you know many parents who did the same? Are you religious?

(Curious!)

My son is 13 and in year 9, he only has access to YouTube and WhatsApp. Everything else is blocked, he's shown no interest in anything else. But there are kids at the school I work at (sons old school) and some of these kids have had Facebook, tiktok, Snapchat etc since they were 6 or 7! Parents openly said they didn't think restrictions like family link were necessary!

The biggest elephant in the room is that at my DDs secondary school the only way for her to access the homework app was on a smartphone! I’m sure they are not the only school to do this. And I’m sure she’s not the only child who didn’t have access to a laptop so a smartphone was the only option.

I don't understand why they stopped making people provide ID to access adult material online......we had to jump through 1001 hoops just to watch a horror film. Yes it was a pain but looking back it provided a safety net.

Kids are bombarded with indecent and violent images at the touch of a button now and it's destroying them. The legislation now around porn means nothing as they can just use a VPN to get around it it's just sad to see the harm being done.

Also on the train
Also at friends' houses

Presumably it was not being used for calls and just like a miniature iPad connected to the internet. You can still use Snapchat Instagram TikTok and send messages without a contract or sim. Worrying that you don’t realise a iPhone can be used other ways than as a phone.

It’s a great book which all parents should read. The difference between girls and boys was interesting, and the effects of social media. It seems to me that a lot of the issues with girls and social media is a lack of self esteem and the desire to feel popular. I think as parents we need to ask ourselves why so many teens have low self esteem to begin with.

Have you read or come across the book The Anxious Generation? Well worth a read

I don't agree with the movement to ban SM for < 16s.
What exactly is the supposed evil of SM?
Talking to each other?
Sending(sharing) pictures-video-text with each other?
Reading skills?
Digital literacy?
Looking at screens too much?
Mass media distribution by unregulated parties?
"The algorithm" that affects us all, meant to retain and monetise our eyeballs?

Assuming the only actual Big Bad Wolf = "The algorithm", then why would we only protect children? What about vulnerable adults? Why can't all of us be defaulted to be opted out of the algorithm.

Will be interesting to see how Aussie ban plays out. As it stands, absolutely fine for Aussie teens to spend lots of their time on WhatsApp, Telegraph, Signal, Rumble and Bitchute. Bcz... I dunno why. Just is, totally allowed.

Smartphones are banned at both my DC’s secondary schools, I don’t understand why all schools wouldn’t do that.
Dumb phone kept in bag and turned off is allowed, as some DC take public transport.

My son is 13, 14 in September and is ostracised for not having a smartphone or social media (he has a £20 Nokia phone). He is laughed at for not knowing the trends or anything about the social media world. Teased on school buses when phones are allowed and he has nothing to do. I feel totally torn.

He understands where we as his parents are coming from but also wants to be “normal”, I don’t know what to do.

My DD is just one school year below, 12 soon, and in a friendship group which is largely smartphone free. She has zero social issues.

I’m hoping when DD age 2 reaches this age the massive public health issue of teens with social media will be managed at a societal level.

I did.

Never allowed on social media until 18, and strict family media policy (in writing) for first phones in secondary school which was updated as they got older.

If you allowed peer pressure to force you to make decisions you knew were bad for your children, then that is on you. 'But everyone else does it' is not a valid excuse for harming your own children.

You can access home Wii-fi without a sim like a laptop does

My DD’s had Facebook on the computer younger (pre smartphone) but it was supervised. I honestly don’t think it’s social media per se it’s lack of parental supervision

I held out for as long as possible but I’m afraid other parents didn’t feel the same. The crunch came when my 11 year old daughter had a sleepover for her birthday and all of the other girls were bringing phones. My daughter didn’t have a phone. I mooted the idea of the other girls not bringing phones (with the mums) but they looked at me as though I was (a) accusing them of bad parenting and (b) unreasonable. So the problem was, I knew the girls would spend all evening on their phones and this would make my daughter feel isolated and it would ruin her birthday. And here we are. I really think we are 10 years off people waking up and realising.

On a separate note, my two daughters are quite different. The older one would have tolerated us taking a stance. The younger one would have made our lives a living hell if we’d not given her a phone - and I’m sorry to say she’s devious and she’d have bought one in secret with her savings.

I work in child development, by the way - and I’ve recently been into schools that have pouches where children have to place their phones during school hours. These are great for the child during school hours but it needs to go further.

I don't think a ban will help much because those that want their kids to have access will still do so, and it's practically impossible to enforce. Plus there are plenty of reasons why kids might have a genuine reason for using social media eg communicate with others with a niche interest/medical condition/etc. At the end of the day parents have to try to be in control but life is busy and we can all drop the ball. Plus all the parents who don't care are out there.

Unfortunately there are a large number of parents out there who don't see the dangers. I teach infants and the number of 5 year olds who are already completely addicted to screens is scary. One boy walked in the classroom demanding 'I want my tablet'
They can all recognise 'Like and subscribe ' even when they can't yet read a simple book.
When they grow up with parents constantly on their phones, they see it as normal.

So with social media loads of parents will allow/enable children to get accounts when they are under 16. And tech savvy teens will find a way round a ban too. My 15 found a way round the parental control settings on his phone and he's not that savvy. He has WhatsApp but no Insta/Snap and recently banned from tiktok when I found out he was speending 3 hours a day on it.

I’m a millennial and I got a smartphone as soon as they were introduced, I was about 14 ish and I also had social media from the minute that was introduced, again when I was about 13 for MySpace and Bebo. I don’t think it did anything negative for my development. I actually have fond memories of MySpace in particular and also MSN. Never really got into YouTube but lots of friends sunk time into that and this is obviously going back nearly 20 years.

My DC have smartphones, have since they were 11 when they started walking home alone and I wanted them to be contactable (2.5 mile walk). I won’t allow TikTok which has caused issues but they have private instagrams and Snapchat. They don’t post anything, they use Snapchat to keep up streaks with friends but that’s it and follow some k pop idols and such on insta.

I think as parents the onus is on you to monitor and limit screen time too but I don’t agree that outright bans are necessary.

Nope, I never trust anything where a blanket rule is applied because it doesn’t allow for individuality.

It’s like those lazy managers that send out work emails to all staff instead of dealing with the culprit directly. Nothing gets resolved!

My teen DS has thrived using technology and he’d be struggling without it. We live very rurally surrounded by fields. Nearest town is 6 miles away by bus. He has no real friends but has interests that benefit from access to technology. He doesn’t use Snapchat and has never played Fortnite. He has taught himself several languages via Duolingo.

I have a five year old and a baby and I read the threads on here with horror at times. People posting about their 13 year olds sending photos and god know what else. Young teenagers just aren’t mature enough to handle social media and smartphones. I’m glad the tide is turning.

My daughter is 9, Y5 and the only one in her class without a smartphone. I was really, really shocked by this. We had several weeks of serious meltdowns over it - I was so angry because she’s usually so well behaved and I felt it was ruining my relationship with her. Eventually I gave her an ancient iPod touch. The screen has several big splotches, it’s not connected to the internet- but it looks the part and she’s happy for now (she takes photos, writes notes and uses the stopwatch).

I’m pretty pissed off with all the other parents to be honest. They’re allowed to bring phones to school but must be turned off and kept in bags. I’m in the smartphone free WhatsApp group but there are very few parents in it from my area. Seems to work better in very naice areas!

I don’t think a total ban on phones and social media for under 16s is a good idea. Going from nothing to full social media access at 16 is a recipe for disaster. The reality is that phones and social are a part of everyday life now and it may be wiser to introduce these things more slowly, and with controls, and for adults to show them how to use phones and social media safely. The children who have the most issues seem to be those whose parents who have just let them loose on their phones with little restrictions.

As an example, mine had What’s App in around year 5. It was used for family chats and a handful of close friends who we knew. They did then have a couple of group chats from year 7, but I was checking their phones daily for anything inappropriate. Predictably, there were some (minor) issues with a group of two, so we talked to them about it and explained why we needed to block certain people etc. They did join instagram when they were mid teens, but again with restrictions as teen accounts. They use it for sensible things, like following pages on sport etc. They know they are not allowed to have people they don’t know as followers etc. My children have said they don’t want Tik Tok or Snapchat as they’ve seen the issues it causes. They manage perfectly well without these things.

I do think a few things have helped massively. They didn’t have phones or tablets as young children. Screens weren’t the default entertainment. They didn’t use screens as entertainment in the car, or on holiday or in restaurants etc. I’m still strict on no screens when we are eating, at home or out. Few children at our primary had phones. It wasn’t the norm. Our chosen secondary school introduced a strict phone ban years ago (before my children joined and before it was discussed in the media). My children are very busy with homework, extra curricular activities music etc. They don’t have time to waste hours on social media. They do have their phones available in their spare time, and do use iPads for games etc.

I’m not saying I have the answer, and I don’t think there’s a perfect solution. However, I think introducing social media slowly and safely, with restrictions is a good way of teaching them how to use it safely. Keeping children occupied with other things also helps as they simply don’t have time to become too obsessed with social media.