Blatant racism from school - parent won’t do anything

You write a letter about this and send it to the Headmaster. Thats what you need to do.

I had a similar issue with my ds and the school dealt with it immediately, but you need to raise it formally.

Going against the grain, I don’t think you should interfere. There are two schools of thought on ‘micro aggressions’. Some people think you should go hard against every perceived racist interaction, as a way of feeling empowered and stamping out latent racism. The other school of thought is that paying too much attention to minor things makes minorities feel like victims and actually does nothing about underlying attitudes. Your sister may be in the latter school and it’s her prerogative to raise her daughter as she wishes.

I would support your niece to raise a complaint.

This is not acceptable

I am definitely a parent who will address big issues with the school. I have also learned that sometimes smaller things have to be ignored. I am not commenting on the nature of these particular issues because that is not the point of my post. As an aunt, your hands are tied in that regard anyway.

What can help a child regardless of interaction with the school, is acknowledging to the child that the behavior they are dealing with is wrong. Simply talking to them about how the fact that what they deal with is unfair helps them feel less alone. It doesn’t change the injustice of the situation. Let her know you are her ally in this. Let her know it is ok to be angry, but to also ignore these people because they are not worth her time and energy.

I don't think the name mix up is a big deal - I used to have it with a friend who was in all my classes and she's a foot taller, different colour hair etc. It's just because we came as a pair. Same in uni with a housemate who worked in the same pub as me - people would mix our names up all the time even though we had very different accents, colouring etc.

The fake tan thing though - I think that's worth raising with the school. Even if it were a complete mistake and the teacher wasn't aware that she was mixed race, it needs to be addressed so it doesn't happen again and so that member of staff undergoes anti-racism training and unconscious bias training.

I'm not black or mixed ethnicity, so happy to be corrected by those with more knowledge and lived experience, but I wouldn't characterise this as a 'micro aggression'. It doesn't feel micro to me.

Somebody should absolutely call this out. I hear other posters saying the school won't listen to you. Maybe they won't - officially. But any head worth their salt hearing about this should be extremely concerned and take action regardless of the niceties around who reports it.

It should be on their radar. But will your sister be upset if you go over her head?

Your sister isn’t protecting her daughter from racism. It’s very poor form especially as niece feels she is being targeted.

DN should feel as if she can rely on her. Is it because she doesn’t want it to be awkward?

OP well done for advocating for your niece. Saw this a lot growing up , parents of mixed race children underplaying racism.

I have no idea if the school will discuss anything with you since you’re not the legal guardian and GDPR rules.

I think you should support your niece to make a complaint if that’s possible.

Is there a Dad in the picture?

Discuss with your niece then call the school and see what you’re able to do in regards to a complaint.

Please go to the school yourself your neice needs to see someone call this BS out on her behalf.

I wouldn't raise it as it should be down to your niece and sister but perhaps you both can convince your sister that this blatant, nasty racism from a blooming teacher of all people is disgusting and needs stopping and this is a fight worth having imo.
If anything, it will teach your sister that this should never ever be the norm or accepted as she will face more bigots like the teacher as the years go by.

While I agree that its a dreadful thing for the teacher to do, as you are not a parent or in a parental situation, I am not sure what you can do without a parent's agreement. If you are going to offer to support your niece in a complaint, again i can see why but should you go against the parent's wishes? (genuine question) I definitely think it wouldn't be a good idea to keep it a secret from the child's parents.

I used to mix up 2 students all the time they were both tall blonde lads, as an aside I’m mixed race. It does happen.

Does your sister/niece get a bursary to attend the school? I'm wondering if she knows deep down that it's wrong but doesn't want to rock the boat to avoid losing the funding?

I'm not saying it's right, I would also be very upset about it and call them out but I'm trying to understand why your sister is reacting this way.

I think if your niece thinks it’s an issue worth complaining about (and I absolutely agree that it is) then your sister should support her. Is your sister white?
The fake tan comment is awful. The teacher shoukd have apologised sincerely for that. If they haven’t, then they need training.

You've flagged the issue to your sister andnmore importantly her daughter is upset by it; but she's brushing it off?
That's some inadequate parental support there.

What's the dad doing?

I'd definitely raise a complaint with the school. That's blatant racism.

This.

Or is she of the school of thought that says I've seen much worse, your niece simply needs to toughen up?

I'm not sure I'd be raising a formal complain about one "fake tan" incident but repeated similar stuff like hair etc then yes. Realistically what sane person issues a detention for something like this on purpose, because you'd look like such a horses arse [which she does].

Being a cow to your niece a lot, isn't necessarily anything to do with race either. She might just be a bit of a brat. Along with Jenny.

Your sister knows her daughter and knows the school better than you. By all means be a sounding board for your niece but try to be objective.

Is your sister white? If so, she may not have any idea how utterly exhausting this is going to be for her daughter throughout her whole life and what is like to be on the recieving end of this.

This must be raised with the school and your niece must learn this kind of racism is not something she just has to put up with.

It's particularly concerning that your niece wants to raise it, but her mum is not supporting her. She won't forget this.

It’s 2026

I do agree though, this is intentional

A racist?

Is your sister the white parent? If so she may not realise how deeply entrenched this can be and how it absolutely MUST be called out every single time. Will dad perhaps say anything?

Thanks for pointing out the correct year! I spent most of December thinking we were already in 2026 and now we've hit February I seem to have gone backwards.

OP: Your sister or niece could complain and suggest that staff could benefit from some diversity training. But frankly I don't know if diversity training covers such basics as "some people have brown skin and it isn't fake tan".

You should support your niece to do this 👆

You might want to double check on the year. Which makes it even worse

OP, you are absolutely right to complain and the teacher, at the very least, needs some unconscious bias training

Speaking as a retired teacher, I did sometimes have brain farts when it came to names. I had two girls who were pals with completely different names, but kept mixing them round even though I knew which girl was which - they both looked completely different: one was a brunette, one had auburn hair.

(It was one of those "Get the name right whatever you do!" situations - and I'd blurt out the wrong name.)

The comment about skin tone is atrocious. I recall a teacher telling a girl with olive skin to "And you need to wash your face!" when I was at school in 1972. I still cringe thinking about it.

If I were your niece's mum, I would definitely write to the school about the skin tone comment and would probably add that I was perplexed that one of her teachers keeps calling her "Jenny" when her name is Sarah.