Blatant racism from school - parent won’t do anything

I am a parent to a mixed race child who is milk white in winter but who will have a gorgeous tan after a day in the sun that lasts all summer long.

If any teacher told my child she was breaching policy and wearing fake tan, I would be having words with the headteacher about discrimination based on her skin colour, request training for the teacher and asking the school to explain to me how this can occur in 2026.

I see many girls with ankle socks and bare legs even in the snow. It's very believable!

Bare legs? With the cold we have outside. Not very credible.

Or she was wearing fake tan on that day? If all her friends were using it in the toilet at break time they do maybe she was too

Leave it to the parents to decide what to do. None of your business actually baje knows her daughter better than you and knows how likely she is to twist the truth (or not!)
If she isn't willing to complain to the school I suspect there may be more to this

Hmm the fake tan comment is clearly racist and I agree the mixing up of names with the only other mixed race kid in the school will be unpleasant for both Sarah and Jenny. It’s true it’s easily done for teachers, but as they are the only kids who are mixed race in the school it kind of says to them that they are interchangeable as a mixed race kid.
i have a memory, I used to work in a lovely small staff team of mainly Black colleagues. There was one other staff who didn’t look like me but was white (ginger lol) and one colleague kept mixing us up. It jarred a bit at the time that she seemed to think we were the same (white) and that was without any structural racism going on.
Youre a lovely auntie to your niece having her back 😀

The fake tan thing is racist. I'd be fuming. I don't understand why people are saying the name mix up isn't that bad...It is bad and it definitely builds a picture.

I agree a complaint needs to be made, but unfortunately, you can't force your sister to put one in - It does sound like you're a great support for your niece.

The teacher is mixing up the names of the only two mixed race children in the school. Unless they also do this with other children it smacks of ‘you all look the same’ and robs both children of an individualised approach from that teacher because they can’t remember who’s who. It’s racist. It’s also lazy.

Wishthingswerenouting
That teacher is a racist provocateur pure and simple they know what they're doing and enjoy doing it, and it's easier to do within a structure of being in the more powerful position with ignorant supposedly superior ideas
Your niece is suffering as her mother says its nothing so perhaps its going to be down to you to do something?
Start keeping records of every incident and as for the other person she's "mistaken" for you could perhaps try to find out how schooldays are for her
Also speak to the head of year because if the other kids work out she's not liked she could become a worthwhile target as chances are this teacher will defend them
I get your sister wanting her head down but perhaps rather controversially she should never have had a biracial child as this things like this may always be in the mix just under the surface especially with the way things are now politically
Where I live, you see this where the mother out with the child seems to be embarrassed by them and perhaps although your sister obviously loves her is not comfortable enough to stick up for her this time and have to face a obvious racist who's percieved as more "powerful"
Let me tell you as a black mother of 3 over 40 years ago I fought my kids corner every damned time. Its a pity shit like this still occurs
Good Luck
And tell your sister to tie her courage to the mast; she really now needs to bite that bullet

Your fury is understandable, but you would be massively overstepping acceptable boundaries if you interfered. You should neither complain to the school nor stir up a sense in your niece that her mother is failing her. Don’t bring it up again. If your niece brings it up with you independently then encourage her to raise her concern with a teacher she feels she can trust to listen to her and handle it properly. Tell her that there is no need to be worried because her other teachers will all want the best for her and this teacher needs to learn from these incidents. She won’t be privy to how it’s handled, but behind the scenes the teacher will undoubtedly be investigated, so she should see an end to these incidents.

Have you spoken to Sarah’s DF about this. Maybe it should be him speaking to school about this nasty treatment of your niece?

The fake tan thing is awful but unfortunately it’s up to your sister or niece to put in a complaint but it’s great that your niece has such a caring aunt to turn to.

I do think the mixing up names, although frustrating, could be very difficult to prove as racism as I’m sure teachers must mix up names all the time.

I think the OP’s response was to you saying “stop looking for an opportunity to be offended’ , I doubt she want’s to be offended.

You also didn’t comment about the fake tan incident, do you think that was also the posters niece looking to be offended?

The name thing might just be a teacher rubbish at names

but the fake tan comment - I would not consider that a micro aggression- that’s more blantant racism.

That article is 90% anecdote and opinion. The two studies cited are irrelevant to the subject the article is discussing (is mixing up two people of the same ethnicity inevitably racist?) It basically says ‘it’s racist because it’s racist’, which is also essentially what you have said in your post.

No it isn't 😂

This absolutely. And it’s the same teacher who threatened detention because she mistook mixed race skin tone for fake tan. I think there’s very clearly an issue with the teacher lumping different races into one homogenous group, which is appalling for all the reasons you stated here, and more.

Can you tell us how your niece 'managed to avoid the detention'?

Was it a case of immediately telling the teacher that it was simply her skin tone [hopefully teacher apologised profusely; punishment withdrawn]?

Or did she bring it up with someone else?

Because if it was brought to the attention of the Head, for instance, I'd be angry if the teacher hasn't already been carpeted.

Where is this happening?

two things

1. Deny or excuse it all you like, but mixing up racialised people is a thing and has a different impact, because of structural racism. There is plenty of (nuanced) research, (rather than anecdote) on it, but here is a nice article that makes some good points: https://www.killyourdarlings.com.au/article/yes-your-honest-mix-up-is-racially-biased/ .
2. I am not sure how people expect someone who is not a parent or even in loco parentis, can make a complaint that the school would actually take seriously or address. I also think it might be very damaging to family relationships and pretty embarassing for all involved. While I think the OP is 100% right to be concerned about these incidents, can you imagine your sibling ringing up your child's school and getting involved with an issue with a teacher? I would be appalled and mortified, however well meant or justified it might be.

You know you’ve lost the moral high ground, when you resort to insults.

OP, you’re on the AIBU board, you asked for feedback, I gave you my experience, but apparently, I’m a bit dumb - or maybe, you’re referring to my blond haired daughter as being a bit dumb, for not being offended?

Not ridiculous. Racist. As is 'mixing' the girls up. Complain.

I think the best thing you could do is try to show your sister how wrong she is. But it’s hard when someone won’t listen. And at the same time, educate your niece to make sure she is clear about why this is not okay and what she can do if it happens again, as well as what adults can do in similar situations.

It’s crap, though. I’m sorry.

If your sister and BIL won’t do anything, there isn’t much you can do.

Your sister should understand what it’s like to be mixed race and sadly that racism does happen.
She is setting an example that things like this are okay and your niece should just take it on the chin.

If your niece later decides to make a complaint let her know you are happy to help.

I would have also hit the roof about the fake tan comment, it’s totally unacceptable.

The name mix up, sure it might be a mistake, but it’s telling she mixes your niece up with the only other mixed race girl in the school.

The thing is OP, you would never be able to prove the getting mixed up thing is racism, because say this teacher does it to loads of kids. (I'm not saying it's NOT her being racist, but I don't think proving that would be easy or at all possible) I don't know if you'd have a case there. Focus on the fake tan thing, and yes I would complain, it's really bad