AIBU to be worried about husband's internet use. (What is Telegram)

MN are weird about phone privacy between couples. They share a bed and body fluids but NEVER a phone password: oh no, no, NO!

I have Telegram and Signal on my phone along with WhatsAppand im a middle aged woman (I would bet anyone working in IT would use Telegram). Exactly like when WhatsApp started, these apps are very popular for secretive things, like cheating, messaging prostitutes, drug dealing etc, but increasingly also for more benign things eg all the locals round here use it to contact some Turkish bloke for knock off designer gear, teenagers use it for dodgy football viewing streams (like all of their mates) as well as legitimate uses, increasingly, like business communications, share dealing etc.

Only you can know whether it's suspicious in your husband's case. Keep an eye.

lots of people use it - my next door neighbour prefers it ( she’s from the US )

The suspicious bit is perhaps that he is hiding it . Could he be up to anything dodgy ?

Lots of OnlyFans girls use Telegram for the obvious reason it's mostly men on their and makes it much easier to hide a chat conversation than on Whatsapp.

Some ridiculous posts on here.
OP - you either trust him or you don't.

if I saw my husband was using a new app, it wouldn't even cross my mind to wonder why. So why has it crossed yours?

If you don't trust your husband, why not? Can you remain in a relationship with someone you don't trust - regardless of whether anything is actually going on.

Telegram is a bit different I think to whatsapp as you don't show your number, just a user name. So easier to join random groups anonymously.

i’d well be wanting a look at his phone. i’d be looking at the pin code every opportunity i couod and having a shufti when he wasn’t looking. if it’s all legit he shouldn’t mind. but i think we all know hes up to somethimg, be it drugs arms dealings or an affair.

The people who I know who use telegram- it’s for dodgy dealings - and I don’t mean affairs.

I have telegram & I only use it for several groups Im in via facebook that sends links to things I might like to buy from Hacoo/DH Gate etc. The people running these prefer Telegram to WhatsApp for whatever reason but from my point of view I use them the same as I do for the WhatsApp groups I'm in. There is nothing at all wrong with using Telegram as an app - it just depends on what groups he is in/messaging. Not everyone likes WhatsApp so may use Telegram instead.

As you can see, there's numerous uses for it. So it won't give you any answers.

Do you have any other reason to be suspicious? that's the key thing. That + secretive phone behaviour wouldn't look good. But if nothing else is suspicious he may well have it for a legitimate reason.

I'd just say "I happened to notice you have Telegram, what is it etc" and see what he says.

It's very much like Russian Discord.

It can be used innocuously, but it does seem to have got a lot of publicity for being used for dodgy things like drugs, pirated streams, and sex offender rings (like this paedophile ring and this sexual exploitation ring) often operate on Telegram. Combined with his secrecy, I'd be concerned.

EncroChat, anyone?

OP you are right to be a bit worried and cautious. My money is on he is up to something 100%

dont be ridiculous, millions of people use it instead of WhatsApp. It’s just less popular in Europe because people use mainly WhatsApp

Telegram is like WhatsApp but with elements of social media, ie there are channels which broadcast news, essays, opinions in a blog-style

By itself it’s not suspicious, it depends what he’s reading there and who he is talking to

If noticed a new app on my husband's phone, which is unlikely as I have absolutely no idea what apps he has and does not have generally, I wouldn't think that he was cheating on me.

So there's got to be more to this. If there isn't more to it and I think it's not very fair on him to just assume he is cheating because he happens to be using a different Mesenger app from you and you have noticed he turns his body away when he uses his phone. I definitely feel that as you have three children, you should get up to speed with technology and it might make you feel a little bit more confident talking with him about it and why he uses it.

Telegram is just a way of communicating with others. So it's as legit as the person using it.

I use it to help my son plan his Pokemon Go raid attendance! All the local players are on there and there is a function to set up events and say whether you're attending. It's the only thing I use it for. So that is a legitimate use. I don't know anyone who uses it just for chatting. If your husband is a gamer I think it is quite widely used in those communities.

My sister uses it for work (legal profession).

I’ve not heard of Telegram being used for anything good. It has a reputation as being used for drugs and other illegal things. I would raise an eyebrow, combined with the secrecy. However, could be for a perfectly valid reason, it’s an app offered by app stores at the end of the day.

I would be troubled by his secretiveness. Telegram is dodgy because it has end-to-end encryption and is run by the Russians. But I don’t know what you can do about all this, really. If you do have serious suspicions about him then you should notify the police.

Telegram is often used to message work contacts, as it's considered more secure than WhatsApp. I had to use Telegram and Signal for work.

A lot of people use Telegram to watch football on dodgy streams. I'm sure there are many more troubling uses (and perfectly legitimate ones)

My old boss liked to use it for secure communication. However, I used to get added to random group chats on it! I found it incredibly insecure in that respect. I was so happy to be able to get rid of it!

He might just have one or two friends who are not WhatsApp users.

As a pp said, download it yourself and he will get notified.

I was on a PTA where the treasurer got comms moved to Telegram as they prefer it because of the encryption.