AIBU to be worried about husband's internet use. (What is Telegram)

Yes we do the same...but that's not really what we're talking about here is it.
Plenty of people on here genuinely believe that it's ok to routinely demand to go through their partner's phone as if that's some kind of indication of a healthy relationship.
In OP's case, people aren't suggesting to check his phone out of some innocent curiosity but because of suspicions of nefarious activity.

Im in a football group on telegram. I get over 200 messages a day about it. Very innocent on my end.

You do get the odd scammed messaging which I just block straight away.

Have you got a dodgy fire stick? If so it's used to communicate give updates ect. It's just a more secure watsapp I wouldn't assume he's cheating.

I have it because my cyber security child uses it to send me messages.

its also for drug dealers apparently although no one has ever propositioned me!

I don't know. I have telegram because the fella I get my dodgy firestick from has a broadcast thing on there. I don't use it for anything else.

Any communication platform can be used for something innocent or something nefarious.

india 100m
Russia 30M
indonesia 20M
USA 20M
Brazil, Egypt, Turkey (can’t find numbers)

Telegram might well be used as a messaging app as well, as pps have set out.

I’m aware of it as a social media platform very popular in russia.

Given the massive over lap between russia/ the far right/ sex offenders and MRAs I’d be on my guard.

Telegram is the same as WhatsApp but more secure. In itself there’s zero concern.

Lots of people like it as it’s not run by Meta (Facebook) etc…

I personally couldn’t cope with my husband being secretive about his messages/phone but that’s my personal opinion and nothing to do with telegram.

Telegram is more ethical (or used to be!) and more secure. I've got it like many others but not enough people are on there to make me move from WhatsApp to there though I would cos don't trust meta who now own whatsapp. My DH has a friend who doesn't have WhatsApp so they use telegram.

But I get why this pattern bothers you. Can you simply ask him why he has telegram, to message who? Why shouldnt he tell you if he's got nothing to hide?

Same here. And now I have Telegram purely because there's a bot on it which tells you if theres's going to be a new parkrun starting that weekend. I don't rush around the country visiting them all but I am nosey and like to know!

I did think Telegram was a bit dodgy though and was a bit reluctant to download it but now I see quite a few of my friends and contacts have it.

Where? Not the US either. Other countries use WhatsApp predominantly for international calls.

Maybe, but clearly a lot of people associate it with criminals and sexual stuff, and creepy group chats sharing photos. That’s the only contexts I’ve ever heard of it. It’s not mainstream like WhatsApp and allows you to communicate with random people you don’t know

Telegram is completely normal!! What is wrong with you people.

It’s not mainstream IN THE UK.
it’s mainstream in many other countries.
so is Viber.

The general secretiveness would concern me more than which messaging apps he has on his phone. I know it's an unforgivable sin to some people, but I'd be wanting a look at his phone, especially if you can't ask him about it and get an immediate honest answer (preferably him willingly showing you the phone himself) without him becoming angry. And he's that sensitive to questions about his phone, I'd consider that a red flag.

Telegram is notorious for groups for sharing CSAM. Just watch any predator catch. That's obviously the extreme end and I'm sure it's also used for innocent chats, but I would always side eye a man using telegram while being secretive with his phone. Also if he's being secretive with his phone that's a classic red flag for cheating. If he's got nothing to hide then he should start acting like it.

I think it's more normal to do it every time (is he never doing innocuous things like deleting random marketing emails; using a bank app; playing solitaire; organising to meet a friend for coffee?) than only some of the time. All the time suggests "doesn't like people watching me using my phone". Some of the time says "I'm doing some things in particular that I don't want my wife to see". And if he is doing "dodgy stuff" using Telegram, it keeps it all self contained so it's really easy just not to do it at all when in full view.

Telegram I've heard is a app for people that are cheating I've seen it on Reddit that it's the one the other women use I'd check the msgs on it

@Kiki92 "Why can I only message contacts on Telegram.”

That question he's googled could simply be that in installing Telegram, it has somehow taken over general SMS messaging, as the default app. I've had that happen before with some other messaging app a few years back.
Why he's using Telegram (and not telling you about it) is a different matter.

NC for obvious reasons op and not to scare you but my ex was very similar in how he used his phone, the secrecy and using those types of apps for communication and it turned out he was involved in distribution of illegal images.

I would be making every effort to see what is on the phone, your gut is telling you something is wrong so I think you need to listen to it. It doesn't mean it's something as extreme as what I experienced but the secrecy around it is not normal or healthy, nor is the gaslighting.

My whole family has telegram…. Downloaded it years a go as an alternative to what’s app, it had better emojis, stickers and you could send gifs (you couldn’t on what’s app) Since what’s app updated, we switched but I still have it…. In recent years it is well known Only Fans girl use it, I always think it’s a bit Suss when I get a notification when a man in my contacts is recently added (it tells you if a contact joins) You can also search and talk to anyone nearby so it’s big for teenagers looking to buy drugs

Your partner turning their whole body away everytime they use their phone is definitely not normal unless you’re trying to hide something. Occasionally maybe if you’re sending something personal/sensitive but not every single time. I don’t think she sounds controlling or paranoid. Anyone would think this was strange behaviour

Why is it weird? I don't tell my partner about every app I download.

IME Telegram is often used for buying/selling drugs or other illegal items because it can operate like a marketplace with groups of thousands of people. There’s also certain features that make it more anonymous than WhatsApp. So he could be doing that 😬 or he’s having an affair and wants a private messaging app separate from his normal chats in WhatsApp. Hope it’s neither of those things though 🤞

There is no good reason to have telegram. It the Russian chat app. If you're not suspecting drug trafficking, I'd sadly presume an Eastern Europe-based online girlfriend. I'm sorry.