Can I refuse this school meeting?

58 replies

loellajames · 02/02/2026 01:41

My son had one day off school in November as he had a temp on the fri and sat and the school wouldn't allow him back until 48 hrs had passed. They sent him home the Friday. I called them on the Mon morning and asked if it was 24 or 48 hrs and they told me I must keep him off. He had a full week off in December as he had flu (tested for and have shown them medical records as his temp was over 40 at one point - he was really unwell). He has vomited tonight and therefore won't be in school for two days. He's a very fit and healthy child, no safeguarding concerns, attendance between 98 and 100% until now. He just happens to have caught a few things in quick succession. After the first two absences the school sent me a letter stating they would be monitoring his absence over the next two weeks and if he had any more I would be called in for a face to face meeting in school hours, this letter was only sent to me last week, nearly two months after the last absence (first week of December). I have a job and feel this is a total waste of time. I'm literally going to sit there and say 'he had a temperature or was vomiting so I followed your policies'. Has anyone ever ignored anything like this before? Been called in for a 'chat'? What will the consequences be of me saying no?

OP posts:

Clarinet1 · 02/02/2026 05:03

I suppose you could say you can’t attend because you’ll get into trouble if you miss work - after all, have you been off work when DC was ill to look after DS?

MissingSockDetective · 02/02/2026 04:46

MightyDandelionEsq · 02/02/2026 04:24

No wonder home schooling rates are rising.

These sorts of attendance authoritarians aren’t doing it for child safeguarding, let’s be honest - it’s for Ofsteds graphs and line go up.

Id ask for a phone call and say you’re not coming in. Your child was sick during a month where flu is rife for gods sake.

I’m getting sick to death of schools second guessing decent parents who know when their children are too sick to attend. It must be turning people off the school system.

Most of those working in schools hate this too, Ofsted are more on the wrong lines than ever.

Inmyuggs · 02/02/2026 04:38

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MightyDandelionEsq · 02/02/2026 04:24

No wonder home schooling rates are rising.

These sorts of attendance authoritarians aren’t doing it for child safeguarding, let’s be honest - it’s for Ofsteds graphs and line go up.

Id ask for a phone call and say you’re not coming in. Your child was sick during a month where flu is rife for gods sake.

I’m getting sick to death of schools second guessing decent parents who know when their children are too sick to attend. It must be turning people off the school system.

Hufflemuff · 02/02/2026 03:54

I'd tell them to call me - i wouldn't take time off work to go into school just because they click their fingers. Total waste of my time.

MissingSockDetective · 02/02/2026 03:42

The school have to send these letters when you get to a certain %. It's all because for some reason Ofsted have decided that a school's attendance level is somehow down to the quality of teaching and environment they create. Apparently, if absence levels are high, of course it is because children don't feel like they 'belong' and if the school were doing a better job then attendance would be higher! (Nothing to do with illness, taking much cheaper term time holidays, parental decisions etc apparently.)

Just ask if you can do a quick phone call and Im sure it will all be fine.

TotHappy · 02/02/2026 02:35

I had a letter on Friday! Well email pdf letter. She has been in school all term, no issues. Her absences last term amounted to 11 days which is an alarming amount I admit but like you some of it was 48 hour rule stuff.
They didn't say they wanted a meeting now but did say if she had any more absence they would have me in to set up a student support plan or some such utter bollocks.
It did get my back up but then I thought, whatever. She probably will have further absence. If they call me, I don't work full time so i dont mind popping in on my day off. I imagine I'll just say 'yes, she had flu' and stare at them until they fill the silence.

It must be a trigger point for attendance if they're suddenly firing these letters out to unsuspecting parents. Is it half way through the school year or something? I can't be bothered to work it out.

HelenaWaiting · 02/02/2026 02:28

I have refused to go and requested a telephone conversation instead. It depends on the school, I suppose.

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