Can I refuse this school meeting?

I agree. Children take unwell at the drop of a hat. The first two absences are well documented and the third is a common illness.

seems like overkill

I’m always confused about people saying these letters are automated, maybe it’s in secondary not primary? DD had pretty poor attendance last year with two hospital admissions of a week each and a phased return after the longer one when she only did mornings. I was stressing about how much time she was missing and in constant contact with school but expecting some sort of official communication but never had a thing. It’s a big standard state primary but has a very kind and sensible Head.

Sorry he’s had so many illnesses OP, I’d offer a phone call.

Yes, policies do not add up with each other. Am finding this at the moment.

I would have the meeting in some form, and voice the 'can't win' observations because you may have further absence. From my point of view, I'm saying that I won't mess around with health issues (my DD's are centring around the heart - new problem - and ear infections - old problem, although a cause is not clear, so, no, not going to play with fire). The support I am requesting is how DD will be able to retrieve resources and support after periods being absent, and who we email - from experience, it is not just 'Attendance' even if that's the described process.

I wouldn't be able to go as I'd be at home looking after my poorly child?

(Default parent with illness as I WFH / PT and other parent is self employed)

If the D of E really cared about ill children missing school they would start to provide resources to ensure lessons could be recorded or children could access school remotely

My son has several tutors that we use occasionally because he gets ill and when he's too ill for school he's often still well enough to have some online tuition

All this amazing technology exists that could be used to help children with chronic illness and instead they just get generic letters berating them

dropping school attendance can be a cause for concern and so it’s right that it should be monitored

there have to be trigger points and you’ve triggered one

they have to check in to find out whether there is a cause for concern.

in your case there is nothing to be worried about and absences can be explained

its reasonable for you to request a phone call or meeting at a time that suits you due to work.

Once I had a letter sent after my daughter missed school because she had a severe allergic reaction at school when school hadn't taken care to keep her safe.
At that point I sent a very robust email and did get a groveling phone call
But why someone doesn't either check the letters before they go out to make sure they aren't going to be absolutely tone deaf etters to send, or at least include a note within the letter that says that this is a blanket letter and it may not be applicable in all circumstances. I have no idea.

When I had a call from the attendance people I just started asking them how they were going to help my son catch up with his work and what provision they had for him to learn remotely and be sent the work he'd missed while he was ill .

They finished the call pretty quickly at that point.

It turns out they only care about statistics and not actually children missing education due to illness

The letter is automatically generated.
Treat it as junk mail, or phone the school if you feel you really can't ignore it.

If they have celebrations for attendance, point out to them that that is discriminatory.

Offer them an online meeting if they really want one, but point out that you can't tell them any more than you have done already, and you obviously can't offer any guarantees that your son won't catch something else.

Not exactly the same is it??

Full day off because you're child is ill and needs looking after, versus taking what could be a full day off for a 5 minute meeting.

It’s a standard letter, and as the absences were mainly unavoidable I wouldn’t get too bothered. If they want a meeting you can tell them it would need to a phone call because of work.
I am intrigued that that a child who was ill on a Friday couldn’t go in to school on Monday because of the 48 hour rule. Am I missing something?

Sounds like the relatively recent changes in workplace HR have reached schools. Before COVID my workplace got a new HR person in who had worked for Sainsburys and were gobsmacked that line managers were going to have to waste time having a meeting after any absence. The recent flu outbreak has been a real pain to reconcile with ultra strict policies. As doctors will tell you, a fortnight off sick is not uncommon.

And yes, it IS unfair, when they miss out on the treats and prizes. I think Ofstead are wrong on putting such importance to attendance, but I suppose it picks up the children who really do need support.

The school have to pay due diligence to absences falling below a certain percentage, regardless of cause. We had a letter sent; DS was hospitalised with Ulcerative Colitis!

Please don't worry, especially if your sons track record is pretty much perfect. All the best. It's good to be open and upfront with school.

The correspondence is probably automated.
Last year our daughter threw up at school on a Wednesday. H went to collect her and they were very clear that she couldn't go in for the rest of the week.

Both of us got an emailed letter next morning asking us to confirm the reason for her unexplained absence and a load of flannel about attendance being important blah blah. I was totally baffled and called to ask if the 48 hour rule was no longer policy (daughter seemed right as rain by then) as I could bring her in if so. (I have another child who is now adult and when he was first at nursery the rule was 12 hours though it later went up to 24 and then to 48.)

I then got a call back from the head saying NO please don't bring her anywhere near the school. She explained that if the system shows attendance not logged and no call from parent logged, the letter is automatically generated for every single day of absence. I pointed out it was a pointless waste of time to call every day for three days telling the school what they already knew and she agreed to manually adjust the log to show notification for each individual day. What a faff.

A child with good attendance, suddenly having 3 absences, would raise concern. The school just want to make sure nothing else is going in (Anxiery, EBSA, behaviour at home etc). You should be able to do it by phone though

I’d respond to the letter, reiterating the reasons for absence and giving your availability for a telephone discussion. It’s probably automated, don’t worry about it.

Don't ignore, but email saying all you have said above, you fail to see what a ftf meeting will achieve that this correspondence hasn't, and that any ftf meeting needs to be out of working hours, or at the very least very early or late, so that your working day is not compromised.

I think requesting a phone call instead would be better for future school relations than refusing to attend.

I had a shitty letter like this when my child had quite a bit of time off due to breaking a bone AT SCHOOL. They ended up having to have a minor surgery and I got a letter from the school about unacceptable absences (still over 95% attendance). I got a bit cross as only reception and it happened under their watch so I thought they should maybe chill out a bit. Anyway I spoke to the head about it and she said it's an automated thing from their attendance system, she has nothing to do with it and can't stop them. If it generated a letter saying we needed to have a meeting, she would count saying hi to me or my partner at pick up as said meeting and log it as complete.
Yanbu to be annoyed but just have a chat with them when you next go in.

I had a letter in year 9 to say I had to provide all appointment letters for any absences and I told the school its them who are phoning me to send her home so the next time I said can she see how she is in 30 mins given they are monitoring her attendance. They called back to say she was in tears so of course I collected her. Her attendance dropped under 80%. I felt awful but she has had an ongoing issue since age 12. It didn’t affect her GCSE results as she got the highest grades in the year group.

I’d tell them you appreciate their concern but nothing you can do and you are following their policies. Tell them to phone you if they want to speak to you.