AIBU, or am I being pathetic?

If driving/towing a caravan is not your idea of an enjoyable holiday then of course you aren't pathetic! I would not want to either. I'm quite adventurous/brave (I think) and do drive but lots of long distance driving on unfamiliar roads, on the 'wrong side' does not appeal at all. It's your holiday too.

Some people love driving holidays and fair enough but you aren't one of them and that's ok.

There are lots of other ways to have a multi site holiday without driving. Trains, cruise, package including internal transfers (we did this last year and it was great so booked the same this year).

Yeah I also kind of agree with this!

You are not being "pathetic." What their dad does with them and what you do is not the main issue here, so don't compare yourself. Explain to your teens that you are happy not to do the usual Warner type holidays for sure, but you feel a little anxious about the driving holiday, and could you reach a compromise? Is there anywhere else/anything else that they'd like to do? Maybe a static kind of glamping alternative, but somewhere very beautiful where you can walk to explore from? Talk to them, they will appreciate that you have listened and are asking their opinion.

I'd tell them that it was my holiday too and i don't much want to drive around all week, particularly on the opposite side of the road in a strange car.

I'd challenge them to come up with their own suggestions and sit down all together and go through them all.

Dubrovnik is a good shout for teens as there is the city and the beach and the history and the Game of Thrones stuff; there are boat tours to lovely islands and it isn't outrageously expensive.

St Malo is also a decent shout, you can get an overnight ferry and have a cabin, then just drive to the accommodation in your own car and there are loads of walks, history, walls, an island jail, fortifications for photos, and other beaches to visit not too far away. Also a train station for further travel. Loads of history in that region.

This campsite is just outside Paris and it’s lovely. You can get the train into Paris, it takes 20mins. We had our own tent, but there are cabins that look very nice, too. You could get all the way there and back on the train. Any good?

https://www.sandaya.co.uk/our-campsites/paris-maisons-laffitte

I wouldn’t be too keen on a campervan either so I don’t think you’re being pathetic. But there are lots of other things you can try, these are some we’ve done over the last few years -

AI somewhere like Tunisia where you can do trips to Roman ruins and the desert

Multi trip city break. We had a great time in Latvia and Estonia - flew to Riga then got the bus to Tallinn. Or do a few cities in Italy getting the train between them.

We’ve had a few beach holidays with children in Thailand but last time had a week in Bangkok, did some day trips from there, then a week on the beach at krabi, also doing some day trips. If you can get a good deal on flights I’ve found it’s no more expensive than a decent AI in Spain in August (rainy season in Thailand has never bothered us and hotels often have very good deals)

Is there a compromise to be made? To be honest I wouldn’t enjoy spending my holiday driving around and doing activities but a city break or a few different cities by train would be lovely.

You could also fly into naples, do a night there. Then go to sorrento as your base, day trip to pompei, visit the amalfi coast, can also do a trip to the island of ischia. Stick in chat gpt 7 day itinerary for arriving in naples and staying in sorrento, visiting the places you want to visit with a couple of beach days included. Just ask it to change it till you're happy with what it comes up with.

Edited to add, no driving needed as public transport/trains are really good connecting all areas.

I think I would be donating the cost of the holiday to charity to teach them that some children don’t have enough to eat, never mind the chance to complain that their holiday is exciting enough when they are going on two very expensive breaks.

I think you need to change it up a bit. Why not somewhere like a city breaj for a few days and then go to the beach for a few days. Barcelona- can do the city stuff and find some activities the kids will like and then go to the beach and enjoy a few days there. Don't have high expectations- learn to live in the moment. Choosing a city/tourist area means there is usually someone who speaks English and there are translators on your phone now.

I think your anxiety makes sense. So you need to work out a plan and then find ways to make you feel comfortable. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone could be a benefit to you, abd you can get the kids to help you plan some of the activities so they feel included.

I mean unless they are suggesting Iran, I think you’ll find that in most European countries they have hospitals, and most people speak English. How about somewhere like Belgium or Holland - close, everyone pretty much everywhere speaks English, lots of interesting places to visit. You could ditch the caravan idea and stay somewhere central, and go out in day trips by public transport. Ease yourself in gently.

Slovenia is a great idea. Dead easy to get around in their public buses too, which are cheap. We did three weeks there, no car. Areas like the Julian Alps and the lakes have great seasonal bus networks so really very easy. I’d do a couple of days in Ljubljana and a few days at Lake Bohinj if you only have a week.

You are not being pathetic at all op!

If your ex and his partner are happy going on great adventures then surely the dc can go with them to do that?

If you are a single parent then I think it’s really important that you enjoy and feel relaxed on holiday so you can recharge properly.

Depending on budget I would rent a self catering villa with on site catering from a main hotel and then hire bicycles and go on expeditions to a local town or to local attractions. Greece or Turkey maybe? Slovenia and Montenegro are both very friendly.

How about a French cycling holiday where the organisation takes your bags forward to the next stop? Choose one with a very relaxed family oriented schedule.

Or Austria or Germany in the summer? I have travelled extensively in both with dc and hygiene standards are generally excellent. I love a ski resort in the summer! Lots of walking trails and activities for teens!

I also am a well seasoned caravan tower, and I would not do this abroad.
A holiday for me is not doing loads of driving, and towing a caravan you need to be even more alert.
I know people who quite happily toddle off on these big tours across america that involve hours of driving almost every day to get to the next place on time, but that is my idea of hell. Especially as the lone driver.
Maybe stay somewhere slightly cheaper, and us the money spent to do various day trips out from your base.

Just a thought, why not a package deal, where you fly, get transfer bus, hotel, meals or not, and then take some excursions out to places of interest. You don’t have to drive in unfamiliar places. You all get to explore but also have the luxury and able to stay in complex.
good luck, hope you find happy compromise

@DontTellMama well, I am an experienced caravanner/caravan tower, and this would horrify me! A modern touring caravan is not just a box, when you arrive and leave anywhere you have to set up/empty the water and toilet systems, you have to know how the fridge, heating and lighting systems work, you have to safely tow it, hitch/unhitch and manoeuvre it into place, then level it. I can do all this with my own van, but that's because I have learnt how to over some time, and an unfamiliar van may be quite different. Oh, and you'll probably be stuck with all the cooking, cleaning, etc. Not much of a holiday for you.

If you are happy driving abroad, you could compromise and take a car ferry to France and go to somewhere like a Eurocamp where you have a static van set up for you, with people on site if things go wrong, you can use it as a touring base in the car, and there are usually food facilities on site.

Or stick to your guns, say that a package is the most relaxing for you, but give them some input. Go to a proper travel agent (like Hays Travel), take the kids with you, tell the agent your budget, and see what they can come up with.

If it is something you’d like to try to overcome then can I suggest Slovenia? The roads are good to drive on, places are easy to get to, there are loaaads of adventure type activities both in summer and winter and it is so very very beautiful. There are a million gorgeous air bnbs or if you prefer hotels. The airport is tiny with the car hire places on site.

I’d base myself in somewhere like Kranjska Gora and take small trips in the car to other places. You can also cycle into Italy on a very straight, safe, beautiful cycle path from there!

YANBU as a lone parent I know how important downtime is. That said, here are some ideas I’ve done.
One Week in Woolacombe/Harlyn etc with surf lesssons
Large AI in Turkey with water parks and day trips
Two weeks
Florida (driving in US is easy) do Volcano Bay, universal studios, drive across to Kennedy then a few days in the Gulf Keys.
San Diego for a few days, Flagstaff then drive to Sedona and fly out of Phoenix.

I wouldn't want to drive in a foreign country either, given he's doing the exciting trips, I think you give yourself permission to relax a bit on that front. How about more of a city based trip, somewhere maybe on the coast so you can do stuff but also have the beach (e.g Barcelona)

Seat61.com has lots of information about train travel to and in Europe. You could get your teens to look at that and plan where to go.

You're not pathetic for being aware of your capacity and wanting a relaxing holiday.
Whilst you can take your teens request on board it's not them who has to facilitate and pay for everything. They will have no idea what it is they are asking of you and it's your job as the adult to think that stuff through.

But a compromise may be possible. I would think about a train to the Netherlands and training it around there a bit. English widely spoken, same for Iceland (lots of excellent guided trips there, for multiple days). Or if YOU need somewhere hot, a resort somewhere a bit different with excursions. Maybe Madeira? (I'm just listing my wishlist now!) Or give teen your parameters (no driving, no campervan) and see if they can come up with more ideas.

You're entitled to enjoy your holiday as an adult!!! I personally think holidays as a kid are a luxury and they're lucky to go anywhere at all. They don't sound hard up your kids on the holiday front!

To be fair, you probably could do a good safari fo a similar price go a Mark Warner holiday. 😁

@DontTellMama how old are these teens?

I can see where your teens are coming from. We only did all inclusive package holidays when I was growing up and I loved them as a kid but by my teens I wanted something more adventurous or cultural. My parents' compromise was to continue with AI holidays but take more interesting trips, for example we did a 2 day Sahara desert tour in Tunisia. As an adult I travelled more independently and now we have DC we do a mix. I've come to enjoy AI again as a chronically ill mum to a sporty ND DS - he loves all the activities and I get loads of time to swim and read and relax. We do city breaks and other independent travel as well, but don't drive abroad (DH hates it and I don't drive at all).

A couple of things that have worked well for us:

A few days in Naples, then train to Sorrento for a few days. Day trip to Pompeii by train.

A few days in Barcelona then train to Sitges for a few days.

Bergen and the Norway in a Nutshell self guided tour (train, bus, boat). Can stay.overnight and do various activities en route.

Efteling and Beekse Bergen via train

We haven't done it but I'm sure plenty of Eurocamp sites are doable without a car

And personally I would love to do this:

https://www.jacobsridge.com/volunteers

I went to Italy for a week with my 2 teens and we saw Venice, Florence, Rome, Pompeii, Herculaneum and Naples, travelling by the brilliant Italian train system. I wouldn’t have liked driving so this worked well.