AIBU, or am I being pathetic?

Yeah I think there are two different types of holiday-maker - some people go on holiday to relax and some people go on holiday to explore and have adventures. Teenagers are naturally moving into an adventurous stage and it's important to encourage this.

Some really good ideas in this thread. Slovenia is a superb suggestion, as is a multi-city break via railway in Italy. I'd also add island-hopping around Croatia - fly into Split or Pula and you have so many islands, of different sizes and vibes, at your fingertips with an excellent ferry service between them all. Great food is everywhere, as are very well-stocked pharmacies.

I think to an extent you have to embrace the fact that the point of the holidays your kids want is to explore, not to relax - would you be able to carve out time/budget for a mini-break just for yourself to relax, maybe when they're at their dad's? Or maybe it might even kindle your own sense of adventure.

I don't think you're useless for wanting to chill, relax and feel safe - however I would advise trying to work on, or get treatment for, that germphobia you mention. (Sorry if you've mentioned that you are, haven't RTFT.) That can be very limiting not just to yourself but to those around you.

@DontTellMama it's your holiday too!

Do you take any other trips together or is it just this 1 week per year? Have they learned to sail/windsurf/ gone on a bike trip (non-guided) while on these holidays? There is a different type of adrenalin.

1 approach would be to get your kids to plan a day trip or overnight, at a different time.

A holiday where you're the sole driver and expected to drive about every day, whether abroad or on the UK, isn't a holiday. It's a chore. You children are suggesting it because they don't fully understand this. Their father may well drive on holiday, but that's his choice and it sounds like he has a partner to share the driving.

You're paying, choose a holiday you'd enjoy. A cruise or city break might be a good compromise.

I know on Mumsnet there seems to be loads of people who take really adventurous holidays with kids as a single parent, but I'm a single parent, I take my kids on packages to beach holidays and fly independently to cities in Europe and I can't remember the last time I saw another single mother doing the same, never mind a holiday where you're driving every day.

Not exactly a holiday though is it?!

I take the kids away by myself. I also do not like driving abroad. I've done it before but for me the stress and anxiety of it negates my fun. So if you don't want to do that. Don't do it.
Push yourself a bit if you can - but what's the point in a holiday if its not fun for you as well?

Last year I took them to lake Garda. No car. We did Venice for a couple of nights, but the main bit I booked private accommodation with a pool. This was walkable to the town centre ( we stayed in Desenzano) and also to the train station. We got ferries and buses to various places for day trips. I booked a few more expensive things (paragliding) but paddleboarding was great and not expensive. We did a mixture of self catering and restaurants. Mostly they lived on gelato!

The previous year we did Slovenia - I hired a car and it was absolutely fine but It did make it more stressful for me. Hence refusing the following year!

I also took my youngest to Switzerland for a few days in 2024. No car required - took trains everywhere. Loved that.

Oh come on that’s unfair. Children are allowed to express a preference and say when they do or don’t like something. OP hasn’t said that they’re throwing their toys out over it (and there is agree with you!) but just that he’s expressed he’d like to do something different!

Its very doable on £5k 🤣🤣🤣

You are amazing. You’ve given your kids a lovely holiday every year and actually what you’ve done is probably out of the comfort zone for many people. When I was a single parent, we had a caravan in Norfolk. That was exciting enough for me!

Tell your kids, it’s your holiday as well, you’re paying and you decide what holiday you are having. Shut down the idea of driving around a foreign country.

City break sounds fab. Barcelona has so much there-beach, culture, art, shopping, food. Me teenagers loved it! Really easy to navigate too and a direct bus to the centre from the airport.
alternatively you can fly into Geneva and get the train to France, Italy, all over Switzerland! I totally get your reservations re driving but there are loads of other options 😊

I would need a holiday to recover from a week of driving a caravan and two teenagers around Europe! You could do a hybrid holiday - last year we flew to Rome then trained to Pisa and Sienna. More exciting than a holiday park, way less stressful than the proposed driving holiday!

Why do you have to drive. We organise our own holidays in Europe all the time and never drive. We simply use the public transport there.

Go stay in one place and do day trips by train? Compromise- no driving. You'll have lots of food options in a town so no cooking etc ...

Yanbu.
I wouldn't do it.
Tell your children that they get that from dad and your holidays are relaxing.
Try a hotel with lots of water sports perhaps.
I wouldn't be entertaining this to be honest, beyond looking at a holiday with more onsight activities.
Don't be so hard on yourself.

Have you looked at Duinrell in The Hague?
Activity park, water park etc.
My children just loved it when we brought them a decade ago.
Its a great memory.

Maybe give it a try in the UK first. There's some absolutely wonderful areas you could enjoy.

To be honest I wouldn’t be up for the driving, I have never driven abroad because the thought of it is so stressful and I think I’d spend the holiday stressing about the next drive.

So I’d be saying no to that but finding some kind of compromise.
For example a train adventure? Or city break somewhere you can get a train to a beach resort for a few days (Barcelona/ Valencia?).

Or a different kind of package holiday where you get your flights and a self catering apartment so you have support if needed but also feels independent and you can do lots of day trips and exploring.

If you stick to Europe you aren’t exactly going to be in the wilderness, there’s going to be good healthcare wherever you are and no more germs than at home!

What about a city break?

I don't see why you have to keep up with the excitement and adventure if you don't enjoy it. They get the chance to do those things with their dad. The holiday is also for you, and you want a familiar environment where you can actually relax. Fair enough. I think since you are paying for it and organising it, you get to choose. Tell your kids you want to have time to relax and time for you all to enjoy each other's company. And when they are paying for and organising the holidays, they can make the decisions about where they go.

“The thing is, DD, that isn’t much of a holiday for me. I’d have to work hard planning and organising everything, and there would be no back up if we had an emergency. I choose places where I know there’s a system to help if we have any problems, so I can really relax knowing if I fall under a bus or get food poisoning you two will be well looked after!”

I wonder if there any sort of adventure camps or similar in UK where you could send your youngest?
I would also look at why they suggest this caravan type of holiday, what is behind this idea? Is it about not liking sharing space with lots of people at the hotel or is it about breakfast/ lunch/ dinner at certain times or it’s just a phase because someone at the school said something.
Then I would look at how to accommodate some of their ideas but not all 🙂

Tell them if they don't like the holidays you offer, you will happily not go, you can all stay at home, and some of the money saved you will put aside for driving lessons or something else they want when they are 18.
They might just take you up on the offer.

This is time for a lesson about not showing ingratitude.

I was going to say something similar.

Driving your own car would probably be fine. Driving a hired camper is a whole level of extra stress due to the size you’d need for three people, and I wouldn’t entertain towing a caravan for one second.

It takes more time than you think to do all the packing up and setting up, plus you have to keep stopping to buy food (parking a huge camper in a supermarket car park 😱) not to mention the detours to find the supermarkets and then guess who gets the joy of cooking and washing up? Then you have to add on the time to get between places and find campsites that are either close to all the sights and amenities or have good public transport links otherwise you have to pack everything up if you want to go out for the day.

It sounds cool and exciting for a teenager but the reality for the adult doing all the work is quite different. Train + hotels or Airbnb would be my choice.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing your limits. I do think you could change things up a bit though. Trains in mainland Europe are fantastic (and very clean) absolutely agree with the suggestions of Amsterdam. And Naples/ Sorrento/ pompeii. Or a seaside area near Barcelona. You could quite easily get a package holiday and get the train in to Barcelona, best of both worlds. Seville.

I’m sure people are going to think I’m on commission (I promise I’m not!) but I’d consider a Eurocamp not far from the Channel ports, as then you would have an English-speaking rep if there were any issues. We have loved Eurocamp holidays in France and the Netherlands. If you wanted better weather you could look further south and fly.

Lots of their sites have good public transport links, eg we’ve stayed at Duinrell and once you’re there, you don’t need a car - you could bus and train to most places you’d want to go, and walk into the town. With others a car might be more beneficial but you could always agree to alternate days on site with days out.

I’d also consider rail and sail to the Netherlands (train to U.K. port then ferry, lots offer deals, pick up public transport on the other side) or Eurostar. Or pick a two-centre city break - Tallinn and Helsinki is a great suggestion. Stockholm and Copenhagen. Budapest/Vienna. Fly into one and out of the other, or train there with stopovers and fly home.

If you don’t feel comfortable doing a driving holiday, don’t allow yourself to be browbeaten into that but for an exploring holiday, these are options I’d look at.

a Few years ago I took my three teens to Holland, solo. We flew to Amsterdam (great as it’s only an hour), got a train to Utrecht and stayed in an air BnB for 3 nights, then went to a more rurally located air BnB for 3 nights. They absolutely loved it, there was time to chill, things to do, but it was more exciting than a package holiday, and public transport in mainland Europe is so much better than in the uk, it was a breeze. A good compromise?

There are holidays in between doing nothing and driving yourself round a new country. I've just booked a package holiday to Iceland with 3 tours included, all the itinerary was sorted by them, I just need to be outside my hotel to catch the coach. The hotel has a spa so I will have time to chill too. I'm sure there will be similar packages in other countries. Pop into a travel agents with your teens and see what they can put together for you.