AIBU, or am I being pathetic?

I realise this might be for another time as a week is a bit short but Sri Lanka is fantastic. You can hire a driver (pretty much the same cost as hiring a car) and they look after you. Go to beach/safari/tea plantations/temples. You can get a very reasonable deal in good hotels and I bet it's less than MW. Plus the food is fab.

What about a cruise (budget permitting)? Lots of opportunities to explore but no driving in foreign counties, medics on board, lots of organisation done for you. Still opportunities to sit back and relax on sea days

Why don't you hire a camper van and drive around the UK. There are many beautiful places to go, lovely beaches, national trust houses etc. There is plenty to do, Lake district, Scotland loads of places to visit....

How about trying an organised adventure holiday, with companies such as Exodus or Explore travel.

I could not drive on the other side of the road for the life of me. And for that matter I don’t think I could manage to drive with a caravan even at home. So YANBU. But there are lots of other options you could look at that aren’t “package holidays “ agree with suggestion of inter railing for example

Is it "the man in seat 61" where you find all the info about booking rail journeys in Europe?

If you are comfortable with driving in Europe (by which I mean "on the other side of the road", all the rest of it is v easy) then I would wholeheartedly recommend a Eurocamp holiday. Or another company offering similar. Have a look at their website. The Brittany coast is really lovely and not too far to travel - ferry from e.g. Newhaven to Dieppe.

Have a look at Byway Travel which does fantastic train holidays from a few days to a few weeks all booked for you and easy. Or ManInSeat61 and book it yourself? Ive taken my teens to Croatia by eurostar/tgv/sleeper train & to Rotterdam/Hamburg/Copenhagen using the Hookof Holland overnight ferry and trains.

Go by train. Far easier and quicker than driving (it's not like trains in the UK). They are quick , clean and cheap

How about starting off just driving to France? Use the tunnel….it’s so easy when you drive out, just make sure everyone keeps saying ‘drive on the right’ so you don’t forget. I drove across France for the first time this summer and it was way easier than anticipated- sat nav is bloody brilliant! Avoid large cities and just explore small towns - you can book hotels or air bnbs if you’re feeling brave! Or go inter-railing as others have suggested!

I'm with you OP, I'm the only driver in our family and before we started going abroad it never felt like a holiday for me as I spent a lot of time driving, usually in quite rural areas which used to stress me out.
Hell would freeze over before I drove abroad 😅.
Sorry no suggestions but with you all the way

You will only push through your germaphobia by doing things that make you uncomfortable. Otherwise you’ll never move past it. I have sympathy for you as it sounds very difficult for you - but you are limiting your child’s life as well as your own. It’s your choice if you want to change that.

Being a woman alone won’t really be an issue in most developed nations. And not speaking the language doesn’t really matter when you have a phone and google translate.

I don’t think you’re pathetic, your concerns sound very valid to me…
Your children are old enough to understand that everyone is different and enjoy different things, they get adventures with their Dad and the option of relaxing holidays with you.

What about an in between where you go to a city with decent public transport links to take away the driving element? It sounds like a bit of a leap to rent a campervan at this stage but a slightly lesser known city like Ljubljana, Dubrovnik, Kotor, etc could work. Given their ages you could task them beforehand and have it that all of you plan one day of activities (although appreciate not sure how your eldest presents with if that’s possible). You can also look pn get your guide and there will be day trips to places that are a bit further out on a coach, although they can be a bit pricey

As others have suggested Eurocamp is a good compromise. You can filter by near an airport and car not required. Public transport in Europe is generally reliable and cheap so you could use this to get about and see places.

Well, you’re paying and you will be doing all the organising, so you get a say too!

Tell your dc how you feel about the idea then maybe you could all discuss alternatives?

Or your dc can do the driving holidays when they can drive themselves. YANBU to want a relaxing holiday!!

Italy and Spain are brilliant for trains. Seville, Cordoba, Granada, Barcelona, Or Rome, Naples, Venice.
(do some pizza or pasta making classes, our teens adored that vineyards)
Do a bit of research first. Have at least one stay with a pool. Or find water parks en route.
See if you can book a sleeper train as part of the route
Also if time is short, train out flight home.

Cruise? Different port every day, but unpack once and get looked after on board. Many sail from Southampton, which isnt too scary to drive to?

what's your understanding of the word holiday? Because to most people, not working, travelling abroad and visiting new places very much meet that criteria!

OP I don't think you're pathetic at all. I happily travel solo and would hate every element of that sort of holiday - the faff of getting all the vehicle sorted and somewhere legal and safe to park it every night, stress and tiredness of being the only driver, let alone in a foreign country, worry about the rental company trying to screw you over by trying to blame you for any tiny scuff, lack of privacy and boredom being stuck in a small space spending a lot of the time driving rather than actually doing stuff - doesn't sound like a fun holiday at all.

Just because your DC think it sounds fun doesn't mean you have to do it! Most people don't get the exact holiday they want every year, let alone if they aren't paying for it. If they like the sound of it they can do it when they can drive!

What about going somewhere say south of France and taking the TGV to different places?

Eg if you stayed in or near Avignon - you could hop on the TGV to Arles, Aix, Nimes, Montpellier, Orange. No driving required.

When mine became teens I stopped the hotel/beach holidays as they wanted something more cultural and I was bloody delighted.

We did city breaks which worked really well for us. No way would I be driving abroad, I just don’t have the confidence.

I would be able to do a driving/caravan holiday in UK though. Say in Scottish Highlands for example, or Isle of Wight?

Dont compare yourself to their father. Easier said than done I know.

You could look at it like a couple of short holidays tagged together eg spend a few days in London, then get the Eurostar to Paris, spend a few days there then catch a train to another French city for a few days. So nothing too stressful and no need to drive. Basically, just a few city breaks in a row.

If you stay in the touristy bits, there will always be someone who speaks English including train staff. Somewhere like France isn't that different to England and there will be standard, familiar routes that people do. You wont be stranded by yourself.

I get that it is scary. But you can travel around without hiring a caravan and driving thousands of miles if you dont want to. You can do a few places gently as opposed to loads and making it grueling.

We do this type of holiday. Every few years we book a month or so of leave and travel to various places. This year we are spending a month interrailing through France, Germany and Spain. It can be tiring and can be harder to organise but it is fun.

Its really not when you book flights seperate to hotel. Most hotels in Nairobi will arrange airport transport for example.

I can understand your child not wanting a package holiday. And I understand you not wanting to drive. I suggest a villa with a pool in a beautiful mountain village in the Alps, where you can all chill and explore on foot.

Driving a caravan is very stressful. We did it once and my husband drove and vowed never again. Campervans are less stressful but still more stress than driving your own car. I would go more for renting a house somewhere and doing day trips round the area. It is more important that you have a holiday you enjoy than that they do. If you are happy the holiday will be better for everyone.