Would this annoy you?

I think I'd have chatted to the child for a short-time, then kindly, but firmly said something like 'it's been lovely chatting, but we have some grown-up things to talk about now, off you go back to your mummy. bye!' If DC had objected, I'd just repeat about grown-up things to talk now & say goodbye again. I'd also expect my date (who presumably knows the child fairly well if he's good friends with the mother) to back me up.

As PP said, I suspect that your date had her lined up in case he wanted an escape route.

I'm also wondering if the mother would like to be more than 'good friends' (or has been more than 'good friends' in the past) & was deliberately trying to disrupt your date.

Half an hour...wow. yeah sorry I think your date should have returned her to her mum and said you were trying to talk.

Maybe it’s a personality thing then, as I’d have no qualms in doing this. If my date found it overly assertive then he’s not the one for me.

In your first post you said the woman was clearly friendly as far as you were concerned, you didn’t mind her interruption, she was pleasant and you spoke a little. Now she’s smarmy, deliberately excluding you from the conversation, deliberately finding inane ways to prolong it, and you’re suspecting ulterior motives. What changed since posting? Most of the replies have indicated that her leaving the kid is irresponsible and annoying but I havent seen anyone pushing you towards the idea that there was any ulterior motive towards the dude which you seem to be implying now?

I'm going to stand up for your date here. He 100% did not want the kid there (especially for 30mins that's insane).

But he's also thinking "if i get rid of the kid, is she going to think i'm a twat who hates kids" or "if i say to the mum come on get your kid, is she going to think i'm a misogynist calling her a bad mum".

I think in the situation he was very much stuck with what to do.

It is 100% the mum of kid who is to blame here.

Wow that's a long time. Not appropriate at all and seems intentional. I see why you felt awkward about moving the child back to her table but I thought after that amount of time your date would have moved her? As it was eating into your dating time.

If the mum was on here then she would most likely recognise herself / her child just from the scenario. I don't think saying the child was 5 years old or that it was in a pub / restaurant is going to make the blindest bit of difference.

Also, even if on the off chance that she is on here and sees this, so what?

So neither of you took any action to bring the child back to her mother?
Are you normally a martyr?

How long did the child stay at your table for?

How can you be "outing" when there are millions of children who would fit this demographic?

Ynbu. Who wants a kid, however cute, hanging around when you're trying to have a date?

i dont think it was up to you or the guy to solve the child pestering.

Yes, it would have annoyed me, but it's not hard to solve, is it? I'd have probably just said to the guy "do you think we should take her back to her mum now" - seems like he would've agreed - and then done so together. I guess you both didn't say anything because you both felt awkward about potentially seeming like a child-hating grinch? But if something small annoys you, you need to just get over that awkwardness.

I don't think parents should leave their children hanging out with other adults unless previously agreed - regardless of whether it's a first date or not - but it's not exactly unusual for some parents to do it. The child just gets walked back over, no big deal.

the mum sounds annoying, allowing her girl to disturb you so often, some people just dont know how to parent

I think that would be easy enough in most situations but less so on a first date, when your date knows the child and you don't.

People just don’t pull people up on things in my experience @Aammee

I think another time you should be more assertive (nicely) and said what a pp suggested “time for you to go back to your own table now as we’ve having a grown up chat”.

Or one of you could have got up and walked her back - ideally your bloke as he could have explained quietly to his friend he was on a date!

Some good mental gymnastics there to blame the bloke for it.

Really rude of the person, nothing wrong with saying hello, but get a grip of your kid.

Of course it was annoying, but really easy to solve. I’d have briefly chatted to the child and then gone “Ok it’s time for you to go back to your own table now as we’re having grown up chats, goodbye.” If she ignored you, hold her hand and walk her over. That’s how you deal with children this age. It isn’t cold or callous??

Yes, that would annoy me. She sounds like one of those parents who thinks everyone else finds their child as charming as they do.

It wouldn't have to be a first date to annoy me, either! It would annoy me if I was on my 50th date and I had to have long conversations with some random child I'd never met before.