To have a baby with a man i dont love

Does that make it ok for this to happen to another child? To have a shitty Dad? Do you know any of the psychological implications of having a crap dad? If you do, why wouldn’t you care?

If you want a second child I‘d absolutely go for it. Bide your time and put money aside to help you when you do leave but I don’t think your plan is reprehensible.

It’s already going to happen to her child

We're clutching our pearls because these are children that are being harmed by their parent's crappy decisions.

The pretence that it will 'all work out' or 'you'll manage' - it doesn't work out and people often don't manage - and all the time the children suffer because of the selfish wants of adults.

Be responsible.

As long as you are prepared to do most, if not all of the child rearing. Which it sounds like you are, then I say go for it. There's no guarantee you will meet someone else to have another child with. This may be your last chance for another baby. You might regret it if you don't go for it.

And let's be honest, you wouldn't be the first person to do this. I don't know why so many posters are clutching their pearls. We all know couples who kept having children long after they should have broken up.

Are you even having sex?

What happens if your baby is born with additional needs and you can no longer afford to leave? Don’t have a baby with someone who isn’t a good partner in life. You don’t have to have a conventional relationship, but you do need to have a healthy relationship.

you have a child. You don’t need more children. Your life can be perfectly rich and fulfilled without more babies.

batshitest thing I have ever seem on MN that wasn't intended to be funny.

Have you considered IVF with donor sperm as an alternative?

My friend did this.

It was not that she stopped loving him but she refused to live with his disrespect (once first child arrived her refused to contribute to the household as he previously did and did almost zero childcare).

I don’t see the issue with wanting all your children for the same man and not wanting to deal with two sets of fathers.

She had the second and 8 months later they separated.

I don’t see the issue 🤷🏽‍♀️. In for a penny in for a pound as they say.

Just do it. You don't know what the future holds and how things will play out but if you want another child just do it then deal with things best you can.

You have no idea the ramifications and ripples that separation and the complete lack of control you have over the other side. Think of who your ex might meet (gf), then her extended family, etc etc. It’s so hard. Why would you knowingly do that to a child? You’re being naive, please don’t do this to another child.

So you want to stay long to have 2 more? What's happening to your eldest who has to languish in this unpleasant home, while you work on becoming a single mother of 3?

A child deserves the best possible life, not the worst.

What you're suggesting is not the best possible life - it's pretty crap.

You're only thinking of what you want, not what's best for your children.

Do not do this OP. For so many reasons I can't believe you need someone to spell out to you. Do NOT do it.

Agree. Plenty of traumatised kids and adults would rather they hadn't been born. You loving the child doesn't mean they won't be affected by their father's attitude towards them or the circumstances in which they were born.

Do it. If you're going to leave anyway and prepared to raise them as a single mum, go for it. You might not get another chance.

Don't do it op, don't knowingly bring a child into an utterly disfunctional relationship.

Honestly I wish my parents hadn't had me just to traumatise me. Id prefer to never have been born but here I am 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're not just being unreasonable, you're being ridiculous.

Why if you have a daughter and she has to deal with his sexism growing up while you aren’t around? Don’t keep waiting until your existing kid is older before divorcing as it just gets harder on them. And it’s shit to deliberately bring a new child into potentially a custody war, it’d be a very selfish thing to do.

I know i want to leave and I will. But is it horrible of me to have a baby before I do

This is exactly what my mum did. She broke up with my dad when I was a baby and had planned it.

She also told me this as a child. My Dad framed it as him leaving the family because of me, too (to save face, probably).

Don't do it. My older sister in particular was messed up for years, partly due to my parents' toxic relationship.

It's cowardly. Be brave and do the right thing, leave this man and find a better one to have a second child with

Another baby born in dysfunctional circumstances with role models that teach them that women are domestic drones and men can do what they like, so they perpetrate that for the next generation. Great. 🙄

How will you feel if he tries for 50 50 custody so he doesn't have to pay as much maintenance, and then palms them off on someone else?

I dream of being a single mum with 3 kids!

What the hell 🫠