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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Maybe an Autism assessment is not the right path?

32 replies

Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 17:07

I’ve been waiting to be assessed for almost two years.

Initially because I read about the diagnostic criteria and it all made sense to me. But now, the more I think about the less clear it becomes that it’s the right thing to do.

Especially when I just came across the “impairments” criteria. I don’t suffer on a daily basis, and I fully understand social norms, I just don’t agree with them.

I’m also gifted, and I came across a few sources that cite the overlap and how it’s of entry misdiagnosed.

Im also aware a diagnosis won’t change a thing, so I’m probably taking the spot of someone who actually needs help and would benefit from getting help sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Maybeasd · 02/02/2026 11:24

JumpLeadsForTwo · 02/02/2026 11:09

The diagnostic criteria was explained to me when a family member was being assessed and I was there to support, and the bottom line for them was that they did not have measurable significant impairment. It was however an in depth assessment looking at all areas of her life, and there may be areas that you wouldn’t initially think of without that professional exploring it properly. There’s a really interesting recent AMA from someone who currently assesses ASD and ADHD. It may be worth having a look.

Thank you I’ll try to find it!

OP posts:
JumpLeadsForTwo · 02/02/2026 11:09

The diagnostic criteria was explained to me when a family member was being assessed and I was there to support, and the bottom line for them was that they did not have measurable significant impairment. It was however an in depth assessment looking at all areas of her life, and there may be areas that you wouldn’t initially think of without that professional exploring it properly. There’s a really interesting recent AMA from someone who currently assesses ASD and ADHD. It may be worth having a look.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 02/02/2026 10:38

JLou08 · 01/02/2026 23:09

The OP has said that she doesn't really struggle and doesn't need any support or accommodations. I think that's enough for the PP to form a view that OP doesn't have a significant impairment.

Show quote history

and I think that’s the bottom line I don’t have a significant impairment, but from what I read having an “accepting family” counts as help. Me personally, I don’t know if I would. Everything seems somewhat subjective and I feel it shouldn’t be.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 01/02/2026 23:09

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 22:10

Why are you trying to diagnose someone you've never met on the internet?

You can't be professionally qualified to diagnose because you wouldn't be engaging in such unprofessional behaviour.

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The OP has said that she doesn't really struggle and doesn't need any support or accommodations. I think that's enough for the PP to form a view that OP doesn't have a significant impairment.

Stompythedinosaur · 01/02/2026 22:27

If the diagnosis won't make a difference, then it isn't worth pursuing!

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 22:27

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 22:08

There are people on MN who would tell you not to go to A&E with sepsis or stroke symptoms lest you take the space of someone more deserving. Even though that is quite clearly an emergency.

So I think it is wise to take such comments about self-rationing one's access to NHS care with a pinch of salt rather than allowing them to manipulate you.

It was actually Reddit and Facebook, some people were actually angry at me.

OP posts:
youalright · 01/02/2026 22:20

To be honest I never understand why anyone past school ages bothers getting a diagnosis unless they want it for benefits as It doesn't change anything. Also being labelled can have quite significant consequences. Since my bpd diagnosis its done me more harm then good and I can't even get it taken of my records now and its most likely an incorrect diagnosis anway

JumpLeadsForTwo · 01/02/2026 22:20

I’m not diagnosing or not! The op was asking whether it was worth going for an assessment given that she is not impaired in her life, and I was just pointing out that part of the criteria for a diagnosis is significant impairment!

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 22:10

JumpLeadsForTwo · 01/02/2026 22:08

To meet the criteria, you need to demonstrate significant impairment in social, occupational or other areas of functioning (criteria D). It doesn’t sound like this applies to you?

Why are you trying to diagnose someone you've never met on the internet?

You can't be professionally qualified to diagnose because you wouldn't be engaging in such unprofessional behaviour.

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 22:08

There are people on MN who would tell you not to go to A&E with sepsis or stroke symptoms lest you take the space of someone more deserving. Even though that is quite clearly an emergency.

So I think it is wise to take such comments about self-rationing one's access to NHS care with a pinch of salt rather than allowing them to manipulate you.

JumpLeadsForTwo · 01/02/2026 22:08

To meet the criteria, you need to demonstrate significant impairment in social, occupational or other areas of functioning (criteria D). It doesn’t sound like this applies to you?

Maybe an Autism assessment is not the right path?
tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 22:04

Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:58

No it definitely wouldn’t harm me, but I can see what I’m taking the spot of someone who might need it more urgently.

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If someone on the waiting list has urgent mental health support needs that will be dealt with separately - autism assessment and mental health care are provided by separate services and there are separate mechanisms to access urgent care.

Plus the autism referral pathways make clear that the mental health needs of those on the waiting list remain the responsibility of primary care/mental health teams. A triage process would also be a normal part of operating a waiting list

Adults also don't need a formal diagnosis to access workplace adjustments, social security support, social care assessments, access to work, or other forms of support.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:58

tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 21:55

Would it harm you to go through with the assessment?

Where I live you wouldn't have made it onto the waiting list without a compelling case that you could be autistic (there is a screening in the referral process), so if you don't feel that the assessment process and outcome will harm you then I would be inclined to just see it through.

No it definitely wouldn’t harm me, but I can see what I’m taking the spot of someone who might need it more urgently.

OP posts:
tumbletoast · 01/02/2026 21:55

Would it harm you to go through with the assessment?

Where I live you wouldn't have made it onto the waiting list without a compelling case that you could be autistic (there is a screening in the referral process), so if you don't feel that the assessment process and outcome will harm you then I would be inclined to just see it through.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:46

FuzzyWolf · 01/02/2026 21:36

You would have to make the decision about whether it’s worthwhile or not. Perhaps just knowing would be a reason in itself?

Sometimes people make their own accommodations and adaptions as they grow into adulthood, so what feels like a lack of impediments is actually just a clever workaround that has been masked.

The main thing is that I don’t like people (in general, and mostly because I find them boringt) but I do like socialising as a whole and don’t feel drained afterwards, if anything I feel energised, like high on life.

and I know and understand about the rules of social engagement, I simply question them and think they’re a lot of nonsense.

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 01/02/2026 21:36

You would have to make the decision about whether it’s worthwhile or not. Perhaps just knowing would be a reason in itself?

Sometimes people make their own accommodations and adaptions as they grow into adulthood, so what feels like a lack of impediments is actually just a clever workaround that has been masked.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:34

FuzzyWolf · 01/02/2026 21:32

An assessment will look at whether anything else could be the cause and if it’s felt that being gifted (or something else) is the reason behind your traits, you don’t be diagnosed - unless it’s felt that being gifted isn’t enough of an answer. Some people are both gifted and autistic, and some people are autistic and their brain works in a way to suggest they are gifted.

So is it still worthwhile? What about the impediment side of things?

OP posts:
FuzzyWolf · 01/02/2026 21:32

An assessment will look at whether anything else could be the cause and if it’s felt that being gifted (or something else) is the reason behind your traits, you don’t be diagnosed - unless it’s felt that being gifted isn’t enough of an answer. Some people are both gifted and autistic, and some people are autistic and their brain works in a way to suggest they are gifted.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:26

CleaningWoes · 01/02/2026 21:23

In what way are you "gifted" OP?

I have an IQ of 149, was a mathlete, got a perfect score in verbal reasoning in a standardised test (they even sent me a diploma!), I’m trilingual, have two undergraduate degrees + one masters.

The way it works in my brain is that it never shuts down, it’s always processing something, but I don’t find it distracting nor overwhelming.

OP posts:
CleaningWoes · 01/02/2026 21:23

In what way are you "gifted" OP?

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:12

RandomMess · 01/02/2026 21:09

Partly depends on your age, if menopause is still to come I would be assessed.

I’m already on HRT due to skin problems.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:11

HarryVanderspeigle · 01/02/2026 21:07

As an adult, it is up to you if you think you would find it useful or not. I know people who have found diagnoses life changing and people who have no desire to know. I suspect I have adhd, but I wouldn't want medication and am far too busy dealing with the kids diagnoses to fill out yet another million page form to find out. It is more important to me to get the kids sorted for their educational needs.

I’m curious to know, but I wouldn’t find it useful at all. Maybe vindication? But also a lot of my experience could be explained through being gifted. This is not a label I just came up later in life, I was properly assessed when younger.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 01/02/2026 21:09

Partly depends on your age, if menopause is still to come I would be assessed.

Original poster
Maybeasd · 01/02/2026 21:09

hellotomrw · 01/02/2026 21:05

How old are you? I wouldn’t have considered myself
impaired by it in my 20s but in my 30s after havung kids being autistic has debilitated me. I wished Id had a diagnosis earlier. So it might still be worth pursuing? Just because you are managing bow it doesn’t mean your symptoms/difficulties wont get harder to manage. People can move from low support needs to medium just by a change in circumstances or something emotional

I’m almost 42… but after one divorce, two marriages, three redundancies, a father in prison, and no real local support, I guess it would have already showed up. If anything I feel like I can handle anything as I’ve grown older.

OP posts:
HarryVanderspeigle · 01/02/2026 21:07

As an adult, it is up to you if you think you would find it useful or not. I know people who have found diagnoses life changing and people who have no desire to know. I suspect I have adhd, but I wouldn't want medication and am far too busy dealing with the kids diagnoses to fill out yet another million page form to find out. It is more important to me to get the kids sorted for their educational needs.