New boyfriend snapped at me

I was wondering how a journey in the UK could take 12+ hours.

I’d have done the same as him. Reading the updates, and seeing that you were shit at directions, and caused 30 mins of delays etc, I’m surprised he didn’t get out and tell you to drive. I’d have been pissed off.

Use SatNav! I cannot be doing with either giving directions or taking them from a passenger. You also get the travel updates if you do that to avoid heavy traffic.

For me? That’s not real life. Life is stressful, messy and difficult. I don’t think it is at all reasonable to expect cool, calm and collected 24/7. Humans don’t work like that. We all lose our shit sometimes. And for most of us? A 12 hr drive will do that. Add in crappy directions and a muttered FFS isn’t even something to think about.
I am all for boundaries, but let them be realistic. Never, ever getting frustrated or cross isn’t a reasonable boundary.

He was being short, you were being an air head. Honours even.

If I was doing a 12 hour car journey I think I would have said a fair few “For fucks sake”s along the way!

😂😆😂

Forgot to add that I think him muttering ffs in the circumstances you describe is more than reasonable! He's only human.

I’m shocked at the poll results - 70% of you think this is okay behaviour?! If he has apologised IMMEDIATELY then I would have said okay it was a stressful situation and a first offence so we’re good, but speak to me like that again (even if I am at fault in some way) and it’s a different story. I was raised by someone who thought it was okay to speak like that to his family and a lot else besides. Been married for 26 years and my husband would never. Why? Two reasons I expect - he’s a good guy and I would never tolerate it. You get what you accept. Show him where the line is drawn and he’ll know where it is.

😂
Safety first!

If anything I think YOU are the red flag in this situation.

I was married to someone who couldn't tolerate me expressing any kind of mild irritation or annoyance without taking deep offence.

Funnily enough the first time it happened we were in the car together (I cried out in fear as he swung suddenly and unexpectedly into the left lane on the motorway) and I wish to goodness that I'd ran a mile then.

Eventually I wasn't allowed to express any kind of negative emotion at all without him using it as evidence that I was an awful person and there was something wrong with me.

It was soul destroying and I ended up on constant eggshells.

My husband would have done exactly the same , except probably not muttered it under his breath. I would have then shouted at him to not speak to me like that, he would have said something back , I would have then sat staring out the window refusing to speak to him or read any directions. Then , 5 min later we would be back to normal 🤣 doesn’t seem an issue to me , but then I am not you.

Wrong directions and a 12 hour drive? I think he was quite restrained! I know MN expects everyone to be perfect, all of the time, but that is a stressful situation. You are massively over reacting. And next time? Share the driving.

Exactly my thoughts … for goodness sake why does every nuance, every tone, every inch of conversation have to be picked apart.
I honestly wonder how any man ever measures up to this level of perfection.
I feel sorry for the poor chap.

Haha! I mean, I’m wondering about that time when she was five years old, and didn’t get full marks on her spelling test, why she thought that she could carry on with life at all really? What business does she even have having a boyfriend and being in a car? You’re quite right!

How come you didn’t share the driving?

Personally, I see someone expecting another person to do a 12 hour drive, giving wrong directions and then yet another error because they were chattering and then bellyaching about it to be a much bigger red flag (plus subsequent ideas he should be managing his ‘brand’) than a tut and a ffs. If it were me in this guy’s position and you’d been that annoying and unhelpful on such a long drive also made this thread with no seeming concern about what a difficult and tiring trek that must have been - I’d be ending it with you.

100%! I'll try not to do it in the car though, because my driving skills deteriorate when my eyes are closed...

Meditation, thats what we need.

Just the once! I have muttered it several times over!

Which obviously makes me a horrible, terrible, evil person and I should never be allowed to date - or even leave the house - because I can't control my temper and I'm clearly and aggressive nutjob!

Edited because I had started to type a response to an earlier post and hadn't deleted the original first line - think I gave up the will to live slightly at that point!

Not going to lie, reading through all this, I think I may have muttered for fucks sake.

I do not apologise for being harsh.

This 100%.
The incident the OP is relaying would not bother me in the slightest, had he swore AT me it would be different, you would have found the way he spoke aloud unacceptable.
We all have our own standards as to what we can accept.
No one is right or wrong, but if the OP is so affected she feels the need to ask strangers opinions on a forum, my bet is this is one relationship that won't last.

Buy him a Satnav as you're a useless navigator.

Surely that goes for you too though?

Aren't you also on your best behaviour and trying to impress? Or is that only for men?

Or are you going for cute, ditzy and slightly incompetent. The kind of girl who needs a man to take.care of her? Provide for and protect her?

Because if my only job during a 12 hour drive was to provide directions and I'd caused a 30 minute delay before the journey had even properly started by giving crap directions and I'd then caused issues by giving bad directions at a roundabout, then when I also had to be prompted to provide directions re a motorway exit, which we nearly missed, tbh, I'd be thinking that a muttered "FFS" was deserved.

Who said madman other than you? Aren’t we just talking about compatibility? Some people don’t swear at all, some people swear lots. Some people don’t like any type of confrontation, for other people it’s part of daily life.If it’s not for her, better to consider calling it off after just three months. That’s hardly a big deal. They don’t have four kids and are about to celebrate their golden anniversary after all.

As the DRIVER, I wouldn’t expect another person in the car to be looking out for exits or giving directions! Fair play if they do, but that’s why you have a sat nav or google maps for, surely?
but then I’m old, and can think for myself 🙄