New boyfriend snapped at me

I was responding to a poster who described what her behaviour would be in the same circumstance. I.e. she would get angry and throw a tantrum. Maybe you should try reading before responding? It might help.

I don’t think the relationship is going to work out.

I agree.

I am merely looking at this from a frustrated driver and incompetent navigator point of view, regardless of which sex either of them are.

The misogyny on this thread is crazy.

It's not misogyny, it's just not everyone rushing to agree with the OP and immediately say LTB for a change.

I almost never sympathise or agree with the men on threads like this. But in this instance the poor guy really hasn't done anything wrong.

A friend of mine once sent me several miles in the wrong direction during what should have been a simple run out to the shops. We ended up on the motorway heading to a completely different city.

He’d been driving for 12 hours. It’s not the same.

Dh wouldn’t snap in that situation - he’s a joy to live with.
I totally would. I have a more volatile personality and I have to work a bit harder in our relationship to compensate for my flaws.
My df was a snapper too, and not a joy to live with.

@Snappyg666 If you’d rather make a life with a person who doesn’t snap in situations like that, you’re not unreasonable to want that for yourself. Before I met dh I didn’t know people could be so well emotionally regulated because I’d never seen it. I assumed that provocation and reaction were proportional. I’d never experienced someone who could be pissed off and choose to let it go.

That wasn't me, but honestly she was incompetent at navigating here. I don't see how that translates to misogyny, as I, and likely the other poster, would have said the same if the roles were reversed and a man had made the same mistakes costing an extra hour of travel time on an already long journey.

People make mistakes and people get annoyed by that. Both are normal and fine things as long as it's just mild annoyance like it sounds.

Why shouldn't he be allowed to express irritation? It's an emotion after all. We're always talking about how men don't express emotion enough, then when one shows he's annoyed and apologises for it, we're supposed to say that's wrong? But not mention that a woman made several mistakes because misogyny?

Personally I’d have been apologising for your part in this which led to the ffs. He drove 12 hours when you could have supported with that and you made two mistakes close together with directions.

one that cost half an hour on a 12 hour drive and another that could have cost just as long.

He could start his own thread here ‘AIBU that she only had one job….’

I'm aware, as I have one. But just because they exist doesn't mean everyone has one. It's not a red flag to not have a phone holder in your car.

Op was paying attention, the app wasn’t clear and was lagging. It is not easy to navigate for 12 hours without an occasional error. Bet you would be singing a different tune if it was you or your son or daughter doing the navigating.

You call women stupid and incompetent for making a couple of navigational mistakes on a 12 hour journey with a laggy Google Maps app? What the fuck is wrong with you?

The misogyny on this thread is crazy.

You sound like an incredibly bad, annoying and dangerous co-pilot. And oblivious!

Not cool. That is firmly yellow card territory for me,

Do you think so?
Ach well, Sis here sounds like a right little princess herself, so I guess they are doomed in one way or another!

Thank fuck I live in a place with excellent public transport..
You can always leave

Not helpfulI I know.

He tutted and said fucks sake and that's snapping?
Mild irritation and you are here asking for opinions?
You do know sometimes arguments would get worse than that? Arguing and disagreements are a part of life. He was driving and had to jump lanes because you didn't alert him as you should have if you were giving directions???

I'm sorry but not everything is abusive. Not everything is a red flag. Sometimes it's just being human

Let this poor man go and find someone less uptight. My word I am shocked that THIS was the issue... Some people have really lived sheltered lives. And if you never had a single cross word at all with you ex then you should have stayed. That's not normal for most people.

Feel sorry for the new guy he can do better and hopefully his next potential partner won't be asking question's online about his every move and relatively normal behaviour.

Most normal people drive an older car without a built-in satnav, but regardless of what your car is, you can buy a phone holder that sticks to the windscreen.

I think you could say thanks for the apology I accept it but going forward I don’t expect to be sworn at or told off, it makes me feel like someone’s child which is a very unsexy dynamic and a turn off

3 months into a relationship is way too early for him to speak to you like that. He should be on his best behaviour at this point.

Been with my partner for 12 years, and he would get pissed off at me and say that to me now, but he Definitely wouldn’t have done that in first few years.

If he speaks to you like this already, what’s he going to be like a year or 2 down the line? I’d be wary of him personally.

Team boyfriend here

100%, it's embarrassing to read really isn't it?

Such a complete non-event. You got something wrong, the guy found it a bit annoying and then apologised later for reacting that way. Don't give it a seconds thought.

Sometimes there are threads on mumsnet where you can clearly see the posters who will decide the man, any man, is the the wrong, abusive, red flag flying and should be dumped.

This is one of those threads

op. You have also refused to answer why you did not share any of the driving. Why?

As a driver I would have found you very unhelpful. I can plug my phone into the in car satnav screen so that I can see where I am going as well as listen to directions.

I also do this on journeys I know well, particularly on motorway drives, so that I can get traffic updates.

I think it was a bad idea not to let your boyfriend have visual access to Google maps or Waze. And I say this as someone who is a good map reader.

So I would have been irritated with you. Sorry.