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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New boyfriend snapped at me

491 replies

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:38

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

OP posts:
NoSoupForU · 01/02/2026 15:52

I don't think him muttering for fucks sake under his breath, when he's been confronted with having to change lanes to exit the motorway quickly, is tantamount to snapping at you.

Its really annoying when people dither.

peacefulpeach · 01/02/2026 15:52

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:51

No he didnt sulk.

I had given him wrong directions on a ring road before that, granted

Show quote history

😂😂 I’m the same. It’d make me laugh.

peacefulpeach · 01/02/2026 15:51

Ok let’s give him a 1/2 a red flag. Keep an eye on the behaviour and if he becomes pointlessly passive aggressive again, full red flag 🚩 and move on.

Original poster
Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:51

RonaldMcDonaldTrump · 01/02/2026 15:44

How was he in the immediate aftermath once he'd taken the exit, did he sulk or say anything else?

No he didnt sulk.

I had given him wrong directions on a ring road before that, granted

OP posts:
ICantBelieveItsNotMe · 01/02/2026 15:51

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:50

Oh I should add:
It was a 12 hour drive and when we got home he said "im sorry, I think i was harsh back there" and I said "i understand, it could have been dangerous" but now I regret not making a point

Making the point that you were sorry?

Original poster
Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:50

Oh I should add:
It was a 12 hour drive and when we got home he said "im sorry, I think i was harsh back there" and I said "i understand, it could have been dangerous" but now I regret not making a point

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 01/02/2026 15:49

TheCurious0range · 01/02/2026 15:43

He muttered for fuck's sake at the situation surely. Not being in the right lane, having to get over at short notice, nearly missing the exit. I'm not sure I'd call that snapping

Yes this. He didn't swear AT you did he? Was he aggressive in how he spoke - sounds like he wasn't? Or was it a bit like how I just muttered: 'For fuck's sake!" because the strap on my bag snapped? The tone and context matter, and if it was just a one off thing said under stress. Or was he then in a mood/off with you afterwards?

Also often on motorways if you miss your exit you can sometimes carry on for another thirty minutes before the next one comes up which means you have to go on a massive detour which is really annoying, not to mention a waste of time and petrol. I would swear under my breath if I had to make a quick lane switch.

This is also why I never let my passengers navigate because some people are just useless at doing it!

Frannyisreading · 01/02/2026 15:49

It wouldn't work for me. I hate being snapped at or treated with impatience or anger. Some people shrug it off and wouldn't care. Only you know which type you are OP! But it's fine to end a new relationship for any reason. If he's comfortable doing this now, it won't get better as time goes on.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/02/2026 15:47

As a one off it's not that concerning, I do a lot of motorway driving and it's tiring, if it's been a long or difficult journey I'm usually irritable towards the end. But for those reasons I don't ask people to direct. If I don't know where I'm going I stick a satnav on and take responsibility for my driving and directions myself.

Depends how it made you feel. Scared there's worse lurking? Or just a bit annoyed?

I'd keep an eye but if the behaviour escalates I'd walk away. Better to be safe and single than trapped in a bad relationship.

ICantBelieveItsNotMe · 01/02/2026 15:46

Next time do what you're meant to do. Give directions clearly and in advance

RonaldMcDonaldTrump · 01/02/2026 15:44

How was he in the immediate aftermath once he'd taken the exit, did he sulk or say anything else?

xOlive · 01/02/2026 15:43

I think this is a 50/50 with keep an eye out for anymore?
He’s snapped but is that because it wasn’t the first “late” direction you gave him? Or is it because there’s more to come.
He might have driving anxiety, he might be a prick, it’s too early to tell.
Has he snapped in any other way/scenario?

TheCurious0range · 01/02/2026 15:43

He muttered for fuck's sake at the situation surely. Not being in the right lane, having to get over at short notice, nearly missing the exit. I'm not sure I'd call that snapping

taxguru · 01/02/2026 15:42

If one of my boyfriends had snapped at me like that, he'd not do it again. I'd make it crystal clear that if it happened again, he'd be an ex-boyfriend.

Pieceofpurplesky · 01/02/2026 15:42

To be fair I would have said the same. You had one job!

Createausername1970 · 01/02/2026 15:41

I wouldn't be happy to be spoken to that way, but if you had agreed he would drive and you would direct, then you need to know where you are, amongst the chatting.

So it's 50/50.