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AIBU?

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Original poster

New boyfriend snapped at me

491 replies

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:38

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

OP posts:
SnipThoseApronStrings · 01/02/2026 16:17

I also wouldn't consider that snapping. It sounded reasonable for the circumstances and his comments after were also reasonable.

I think 12 hours driving together is a testing situation.

PoliteSquid · 01/02/2026 16:17

2026new · 01/02/2026 16:13

You sound an utter PITA

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Absolutely agree!

Poodlelove · 01/02/2026 16:17

I think as he apologised and it was a one off I think its ok .
Are you otherwise happy ?

BreakingBroken · 01/02/2026 16:17

I might have to break up with someone over no sat nav.
I’m seriously traumatized by old school maps and being the copilot.

zanahoria · 01/02/2026 16:16

It depends on how he said it, some people can swear without being aggressive but if you got aggressive vibes then best give it a miss.

PoliteSquid · 01/02/2026 16:16

I’m afraid I’d have found your mistakes deeply deeply irritating so I’m with new boyfriend on this. Did you at least share the driving?! If not, YA (even more) BU!

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/02/2026 16:16

BellesAndGraces · 01/02/2026 16:13

DH of 10 years would never snap at me like that. The most he would have said is “what are you like?” Or something similar in a light tone. If he was having a really bad day I might have got a “oh, love” in a resigned tone, but never a sharp tone. How you speak to each other matters. A man who snaps at a woman he’s been dating for 3 months will almost snap at you more when the honeymoon period is over. Bet your arse he’ll snap at your kids too if you choose to have them. I would throw this one back.

I think the definition of "snap" needs looking at on this thread.

Gahr · 01/02/2026 16:14

You're the red flag. Either pay attention to the road or don't offer to navigate. I don't see that he did anything wrong at all, especially since he apologized. You sound high maintenance.

zanahoria · 01/02/2026 16:14

Some people can be utter twats driving cars but perfectly normal out of them

2026new · 01/02/2026 16:13

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

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You sound an utter PITA

BellesAndGraces · 01/02/2026 16:13

DH of 10 years would never snap at me like that. The most he would have said is “what are you like?” Or something similar in a light tone. If he was having a really bad day I might have got a “oh, love” in a resigned tone, but never a sharp tone. How you speak to each other matters. A man who snaps at a woman he’s been dating for 3 months will almost snap at you more when the honeymoon period is over. Bet your arse he’ll snap at your kids too if you choose to have them. I would throw this one back.

Proccy · 01/02/2026 16:11

Have you looked him up on Claire's Law just in case?

ilovesooty · 01/02/2026 16:11

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:50

Oh I should add:
It was a 12 hour drive and when we got home he said "im sorry, I think i was harsh back there" and I said "i understand, it could have been dangerous" but now I regret not making a point

He acknowledged his behaviour. I don't see what point you needed to make.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 01/02/2026 16:11

Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and [...]

This is where your thinking is going wrong. It is unreasonable to expect any new boyfriend to not have a certain flaw just because your ex didn't.
Your new boyfriend(s) will have different flaws, and different good points.

For all his faults (and your ex had big faults or he wouldn't be your ex), he had the patience of a saint to put up with you giving wrong or inadequate directions on a 12 hour drive and never once swearing about it.

Most people, including your new BF, after hours of driving will let slip a few swear words at having to rapidly respond to late directions on a motorway.

TryingToLoveMyself · 01/02/2026 16:10

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

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Thanks for the drip feed.

Shamesame · 01/02/2026 16:09

Sounds like you should be the one apologising to him

XiCi · 01/02/2026 16:08

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:51

No he didnt sulk.

I had given him wrong directions on a ring road before that, granted

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Christ, surely everyone uses sat nav nowadays. If his car hasnt got sat nav just use Google directions. Where you sat with a map or something?

thecatneuterer · 01/02/2026 16:08

I thought Waze and Google maps had signalled the end of relationship break ups due to navigating. In the old days even the strongest, calmest relationships were severely tested in these circumstances. I wouldn't read anything into this except use technology to navigate in future!

ilovesooty · 01/02/2026 16:08

TheCurious0range · 01/02/2026 15:43

He muttered for fuck's sake at the situation surely. Not being in the right lane, having to get over at short notice, nearly missing the exit. I'm not sure I'd call that snapping

I wouldn't either. He was a bit irritated and I think it's understandable.

ChristmasRager · 01/02/2026 16:07

I would have said the same - it’s super annoying when you miss an exit and generally adds a lot to the journey. Not out of a dig at you - more the situation itself

99pwithaflake · 01/02/2026 16:06

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

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You should have been paying more attention - if you can't handle doing the directions and chatting then tell him that.

Arlanymor · 01/02/2026 16:06

InMyOodie · 01/02/2026 16:03

I think it shows aggression from him and an inability to control his temper. I'd have a poor opinion of someone who swore at me in those circumstances. But plenty of people think swearing and shouting at each other in a relationship is totally fine.

He didn't swear AT her though, he swore at the situation. Plenty of people say FFS when things go wrong in life, doesn't mean they are aggressive or can't control their temper. I wouldn't put up with being sworn at either, but that's not what happened here.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/02/2026 16:05

InMyOodie · 01/02/2026 16:03

I think it shows aggression from him and an inability to control his temper. I'd have a poor opinion of someone who swore at me in those circumstances. But plenty of people think swearing and shouting at each other in a relationship is totally fine.

"FFS" being muttered when you have to switch lanes last minute isn't aggressive and isn't even really directed at a person, more a situation.

It's very different to telling a partner to f off or shouting at them.

Original poster
Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

BreakingBroken · 01/02/2026 16:02

Let me guess you don’t drive.
Having to quickly change lanes and exit sharply is horribly unpleasant and dangerous!
Two mistakes on one trip…not good.
Sat nav might be needed if you continue this relationship.

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

OP posts:
Waitingformychinesetakeaway · 01/02/2026 16:04

So half a story then…