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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New boyfriend snapped at me

491 replies

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:38

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important.

I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit

Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

OP posts:
Original poster
Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:34

Delatron · 01/02/2026 16:29

Part of me thinks it’s bit early in the relationship for him to be irritated- evryone should still be a little bit on their best behaviour.

However, that’s a lot (too much) of driving in one day and you’d already got the directions wrong so I think in those circumstances it’s fair enough. My DH would have been annoyed with me too - but we have been together much longer.

Its good he apologised and he wasn’t shouting at you more out loud in frustration. So I’d let it go and no more navigating together.

Yes I agree with your feelings.

Im going to let it go but keep an eye out for other instances.

I think it is too early to be snapping at me. We booked theatre tickets a few days ago and he was being really chaotic about figuring out the evening that would work best for him, which meant that I had to select and then deselect then select seats five different times for five different showings. That irritated me but it doesn't mean I tutted and said "for fucks sake" to him.

OP posts:
Stressedoutmummyof3 · 01/02/2026 16:33

Proccy · 01/02/2026 16:11

Have you looked him up on Claire's Law just in case?

Seriously? She gave the wrong directions more than once, added time to a long journey and he muttered FFS in annoyance but not at her. Then apologised for it.
He sounds like a nice guy. OP did you apologise to him for constantly messing up the directions? I don't think he had anything to apologise for.
You sound like hard work, if your partner can't even express frustration.

thisfilmisboring123 · 01/02/2026 16:31

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

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And you’re wondering why he said ffs 😂
Sorry, but 30 mins out of your way.
I’d have thrown my husband out the car.

Actually beginning to think this is a wind up.

Loobyloolovesandypandy · 01/02/2026 16:30

Pigletin · 01/02/2026 15:55

The reason he snapped isn’t important, it’s the fact that he did it and that it comes to him easily during day to day living. My DH is like that, he doesn’t really mean anything by it but I hate it and it creates an atmosphere. I would watch out if this is a normal thing for him and then you’ll need to decide if it’s a deal breaker for you. But make it very clear he should not be speaking to you like this and watch his reaction, it will speak volumes.

A 12 hour drive with an unprepared navigator is not day to day living. Give the guy some slack

Peacefullbliss · 01/02/2026 16:29

He muttered fuck sake and you say he snapped at you.
Sorry op but have you had anyone snap at you because they dont mutter it.

Tbh id have said the same i have said aswell.

Delatron · 01/02/2026 16:29

Part of me thinks it’s bit early in the relationship for him to be irritated- evryone should still be a little bit on their best behaviour.

However, that’s a lot (too much) of driving in one day and you’d already got the directions wrong so I think in those circumstances it’s fair enough. My DH would have been annoyed with me too - but we have been together much longer.

Its good he apologised and he wasn’t shouting at you more out loud in frustration. So I’d let it go and no more navigating together.

allthingsinmoderation · 01/02/2026 16:29

As a momentary reaction to being given late direction in a stressful time sensitive situation and if he apologised after and no other underlying behaviour that cause concern.....Not an issue.

TFImBackIn · 01/02/2026 16:29

You sound like a nightmare navigator, OP!

Waitingformychinesetakeaway · 01/02/2026 16:29

Claire’s Law, because he snapped FFS after the OP almost made him miss an exit, made him go 30 minutes in the wrong direction and took him the wrong way up the ring road after driving for 12 hours? Oh and then he apologised later. Nuts. Fucking bonkers.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 01/02/2026 16:27

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

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I want to say ‘FFS’ after all these updates.

Team Boyfriend.

BengalBangle · 01/02/2026 16:27

This thread is drip feed after drip feed of your navigational ineptitude and his sole "FFS".
Honestly, get over yourself and stop being so precious. It was a 12 hour drive!

Frauhubert · 01/02/2026 16:26

Btw, a grown man tutting is an instant ick, eww

MidWayThruJanuary · 01/02/2026 16:26

Why didn’t you do some of the driving @Snappyg666 ?

Marmalade71 · 01/02/2026 16:24

12 hours driving in one day is bloody dangerous. No wonder he was on edge. If this is the only sign of impatience he’s shown so far I’d forget about it, he will have been genuinely exhausted. You say you do drive so I guess you can understand that?

Uhghg · 01/02/2026 16:24

I am very placid and laid back and don’t experience road rage but when I’m driving I can get snappy.

I did it to my friend the other day as he was mean to be giving me directions but wasn’t answering me quick enough - he was actually the one apologising and then I laughed it off and was just like FFS but we’re quite close and so snapping at each other isn’t a big deal.

I would let this slide but obviously keep an eye out for anything.

JMSA · 01/02/2026 16:24

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 15:50

Oh I should add:
It was a 12 hour drive and when we got home he said "im sorry, I think i was harsh back there" and I said "i understand, it could have been dangerous" but now I regret not making a point

Jesus, didn’t you even split it?
No wonder he got arsey, honestly. YABU.

Waitingformychinesetakeaway · 01/02/2026 16:23

So more drip feeding then.

I don’t think your bf is the red flag…

InterestedDad37 · 01/02/2026 16:22

@Snappyg666 you can carry on along this road, or you can take the exit ramp. Your decision and your choice 👍

movintothecountry · 01/02/2026 16:22

Yeah, contrary to most on this thread, i'd chuck this one back. I dont speak like this to my husband of 20 years and wouldnt tolerate this from him.

Its shows a lack of respect and defo a red flag in a boyfriend of 3 months.

Your skill at navigating isnt the issue here. I assume you were trying your best and even if you were shit id expect a decent level of tolerance and a bit of good humour.

Appreciate others disagree, but i don't like snarkiness. Stick with someone like this if you have a thick skin and are happy with sniping at each other over minor shit. Not my bag at all.

Createausername1970 · 01/02/2026 16:21

KimuraTan · 01/02/2026 15:59

Feel the OP wants validation how her new partner was mean - which is her prerogative on an online forum.

I can see both sides of the argument but it’s very much down to personal temperament and previous experiences how anyone would react to that situation.

if you’re not compatible as people just let him go and find someone else. You’ll do both of you a favour.

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I think she does, otherwise she wouldn't have posted.

L0bstersLass · 01/02/2026 16:21

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 16:05

In fairness before we got on the motorway I also made a wrong call which cost us about 30 minutes as we ended up in this random town so I do see why he would have been irritated, im not disputing that.

I do drive btw.

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Fucking hell, I'm pissed off with you and I wasn't even in the car!

Devontownie · 01/02/2026 16:21

I would of expected rather more than that from my usually calm DH of 16 years who has the patience of a saint.

In fact I remember him refusing to allow me to hold pizzas home after dropping them once in the car, he drove home AND held the pizzas! " Because I couldn't be trusted" 😂

It sounds like there was a few errors prior to nearly missing the exit, and driving brings out all manner in people you wouldn't normally see. It could of been dangerous yes, and I would let this one slide. 12 hours driving is bad enough without delays due to directions and a very near miss to another!

AcrossthePond55 · 01/02/2026 16:21

@Snappyg666

I think I'd call no harm, no foul on this one. But tuck it away for future reference.

Try using Waze for navigation. If the UK version is anything like the US version, it's aces!

DH and I were long time RVers. I can't count the times we've snapped at each other over giving or 'acting on' directions. FWIW there were many a muttered 'FFS!' or words to that effect over our decades of RVing. Unless it descends into nasty names, personal insults, or shouting (which it never did for us) I'd figure it as the stress of the drive.

Also, 12 hours in one day is too long behind the wheel for one person IMO. This drive should have been shared, even if you only took a turn midway for 2-3 hours.

Frauhubert · 01/02/2026 16:21

So many diligent, concentrated and professional pilots on this thread!

ilovesooty · 01/02/2026 16:18

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 01/02/2026 16:16

I think the definition of "snap" needs looking at on this thread.

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And the definition of "at".