Page 13 | New boyfriend snapped at me

Snappyg666 · 2026-02-01T15:38:52+00:00

Could do with your opinion. FWIW I am happy to be told AIBU. Im just trying to make sure I dont ignore anything important. I was driving down the motorway with my boyfriend of 3 months. He was driving and I was supposed to be giving directions. We were talking and then he asked whether he should be taking the exit and I kind of hesitated for a few seconds as wasn't sure abd then said yes. He tutted and said for fucks sake and then quickly switched lames to exit Now totally get why that would be irritating 😅 Its just that I was with my ex for 10 years and for all his faults, I dont think we ever snapped at each other once. We had massive bust ups about the big questions but irritating things like this we were both very generous with each other so im not sure what's normal. But I felt like a child being reprimanded and felt like saying "jesus get over it"

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:37

nomas · 01/02/2026 17:34

Your the only person that think so

Yeah, nice try, that ‘we vs you’ shit doesn’t work on me.

It isn’t even true, plenty of people have told OP the boyfriend was wrong, RTFT.

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

Exactly, HE, as the driver, should have been prepared and had a maps app on his phone or a sat nav, that’s my point.

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But that isn’t what she has laid out

2/3 people thinks she’s wrong and she keeps arguing - also that voting was done before she drip fed what she did so prob more 3/3 now

anyone can say they don’t want to navigate - you have no idea of the set up and why they wee using a map - I don’t know why you keep mentioning sat nav - THEY WERE NOT USING IT

NovemberMorn · 01/02/2026 17:36

I think YABU.
He didn't swear AT you, he swore in frustration.... he is human.

NotAtMyAge · 01/02/2026 17:36

wrongthinker · 01/02/2026 17:29

It's your duty, is it? No, I don't think so. She wasn't doing a professional job. Clearly they agreed between themselves that he would drive and she would help navigate but what kind of a driver relies on a passenger to navigate for 12 hours? What about his duty to keep them both safe? Why did he 'have' to make a lane change at the last moment - if it wasn't safe, then he shouldn't have done that. And what, she was supposed to sit there with her eyes glued to her phone for 12 hours and make sure she wasn't distracted by any conversation or anything going on?

What a load of nonsense. It's like none of you have ever been in a car before.

And yes, it is an expression of contempt if you convey that you think another person is stupid or incompetent.

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Of course it was her duty if they had divided the responsibilities as they did. It was his duty to drive as safely as possible on a long and tiring journey and hers to pay attention to where they were and give directions in time. Duty isn't just a word that refers to a paid work situation.

If someone behaves stupidly or incompetently, it's not contempt to say so, it's the plain truth.

nomas · 01/02/2026 17:35

wrongthinker · 01/02/2026 17:34

They're not the only person who thinks so. I agree.

She made two mistakes in a 12 hour journey. He made several massive mistakes, like not having sat nav and expecting his passenger to behave like a robot and then losing his sense of humour and acting like a dick.

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💯 well said.

nomas · 01/02/2026 17:34

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:32

Your the only person that think so

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

she’s not asking for advice after the fact she’s asking g if he was right to utter “fucks sake” after all the mistakes she made

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Your the only person that think so

Yeah, nice try, that ‘we vs you’ shit doesn’t work on me.

It isn’t even true, plenty of people have told OP the boyfriend was wrong, RTFT.

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

Exactly, HE, as the driver, should have been prepared and had a maps app on his phone or a sat nav, that’s my point.

wrongthinker · 01/02/2026 17:34

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:32

Your the only person that think so

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

she’s not asking for advice after the fact she’s asking g if he was right to utter “fucks sake” after all the mistakes she made

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They're not the only person who thinks so. I agree.

She made two mistakes in a 12 hour journey. He made several massive mistakes, like not having sat nav and expecting his passenger to behave like a robot and then losing his sense of humour and acting like a dick.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 01/02/2026 17:34

That's good he said sorry. I think I'd have said sorry back for adding time to a long journey, rather than trying to make a point.

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:32

nomas · 01/02/2026 17:30

Going home I told him to direct me. Coming up to a right hand turn, not a very well signposted and slightly off set and not clear but I vaguely recognised it he says "take the right coming up" I say "this right?" he says "the right coming up" I say again "this right?" he says again "the right coming up" I say "FFS that could mean the right coming up in half a mile. THIS right is the one right here".

And this is really common, especially on a 12 hour journey. It’s hard being that focused as the passenger giving directions for that long.

As you found, when you relied on Google Maps, you fared much better.

OP should not be blamed for the boyfriend being a dweeby unprepared driver.

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Your the only person that think so

I don’t know why you keep talking about sat nav - they clearly weren’t using it

she’s not asking for advice after the fact she’s asking g if he was right to utter “fucks sake” after all the mistakes she made

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 01/02/2026 17:30

So to recap:

You screwed up the directions, he was driving for 12 hours, he got frustrated for a second, he apologised?

And yet you somehow feel his behaviour needs closer examination?

Good grief.

nomas · 01/02/2026 17:30

ShamedBySiri · 01/02/2026 17:18

For what it's worth there's nothing like driving to cause arguments in my experience. DH acknowledges I'm a good map reader and give good directions. However when I say "slow down, I need to read the sign and check if it's this turning" he hears "drive on fast it's at least a mile down the road" and we roar past the turning which was the correct one.

Meanwhile he can't map read because he gets car sick as soon as he looks down 🙄 (he's never actually been sick of course but makes a big thing of it).
As for his directions - I'm the one saying FFS.
Example - last week, I had to drive to a garage I'm not familiar with to pick him up when he dropped his car off for repairs. I got there fine using my google maps directions. Going home I told him to direct me. Coming up to a right hand turn, not a very well signposted and slightly off set and not clear but I vaguely recognised it he says "take the right coming up" I say "this right?" he says "the right coming up" I say again "this right?" he says again "the right coming up" I say "FFS that could mean the right coming up in half a mile. THIS right is the one right here". 🤬

It'll be the pattern of your journeys forever OP. You might want to run a mile or you might swallow it down until the next time and every time to come.

Going home I told him to direct me. Coming up to a right hand turn, not a very well signposted and slightly off set and not clear but I vaguely recognised it he says "take the right coming up" I say "this right?" he says "the right coming up" I say again "this right?" he says again "the right coming up" I say "FFS that could mean the right coming up in half a mile. THIS right is the one right here".

And this is really common, especially on a 12 hour journey. It’s hard being that focused as the passenger giving directions for that long.

As you found, when you relied on Google Maps, you fared much better.

OP should not be blamed for the boyfriend being a dweeby unprepared driver.

ginasevern · 01/02/2026 17:29

If this was the second cock up on a very long and tiring drive, I'd probably expect to be snapped at a bit, but maybe I've got low standards. He did apologise and didn't continue it, so I think benefit of the doubt. It's early days yet.

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:29

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 17:21

Hes not my partner though

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Meaning….?

wrongthinker · 01/02/2026 17:29

NotAtMyAge · 01/02/2026 17:16

I can tell you the research shows that partners showing contempt to one another is virtually a guarantee that the relationship won't last.

Mild irritation is a world away from contempt. I've read this thread with increasing bemusement at how precious so many people seem to be in their relationships nowadays. If you agree to navigate while your partner drives for a whole 12+ hours, then it's your duty to remember your responsibility and not let yourself get distracted. If you fail in this I think the poor man has every justification for muttering under his breath at your ineptitude. He had the maturity to apologise for his brief spurt of irritation. Did the OP apologise for her navigation errors, I wonder?

It's your duty, is it? No, I don't think so. She wasn't doing a professional job. Clearly they agreed between themselves that he would drive and she would help navigate but what kind of a driver relies on a passenger to navigate for 12 hours? What about his duty to keep them both safe? Why did he 'have' to make a lane change at the last moment - if it wasn't safe, then he shouldn't have done that. And what, she was supposed to sit there with her eyes glued to her phone for 12 hours and make sure she wasn't distracted by any conversation or anything going on?

What a load of nonsense. It's like none of you have ever been in a car before.

And yes, it is an expression of contempt if you convey that you think another person is stupid or incompetent.

NotAtMyAge · 01/02/2026 17:28

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 17:21

Hes not my partner though

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He's your significant other at this time, however you choose to describe your relationship. A rose by any other name...😉

goingtotown · 01/02/2026 17:26

Pay attention OP if you were giving directions. I’m not surprised he snapped at you.

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:26

Wowwhataworld · 01/02/2026 17:25

I’d have said a lot more than ffs with all those errors 🤯 the fact he apologised with no prompting later tells me he’s a nice guy.

Agree

I think I would have landed the map over her head

Anywherebuthere · 01/02/2026 17:26

You have to decide what's acceptable for you in a relationship and you need to make it clear from the start.

There's a big difference in a rare brief moment of frustration and in someone sulking over it for a further amount of time.

The latter would be draining and toxic in a relationship.

Wowwhataworld · 01/02/2026 17:25

I’d have said a lot more than ffs with all those errors 🤯 the fact he apologised with no prompting later tells me he’s a nice guy.

Calliopespa · 01/02/2026 17:23

He was worried as it could have been dangerous.

He also apologised afterwards.

Do you ever get stressed and snappy?

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 01/02/2026 17:21

I think i would have said much worse if you'd cocked up the directions TWICE. Well, I'd just assume you couldn't cope with giving directions, and just use Waze instead.

CallMeEvelyn · 01/02/2026 17:21

Oldgoatinaboat · 01/02/2026 16:52

Jesus christ, I wonder how both you and most of the respondees on her actually manage yo get through life if you create so much drama over such a non event.... and if you clearly can't cope with someone getting mildly irritated or slightly snapping.
God help you all in your lives

I agree. It's unbelievable there really are people who are so overdramatic and oversensitive as OP around us, but hey ho. Not my circus, not my monkeys, fortunately.

YABVU.

Original poster

Snappyg666 · 01/02/2026 17:21

NotAtMyAge · 01/02/2026 17:16

I can tell you the research shows that partners showing contempt to one another is virtually a guarantee that the relationship won't last.

Mild irritation is a world away from contempt. I've read this thread with increasing bemusement at how precious so many people seem to be in their relationships nowadays. If you agree to navigate while your partner drives for a whole 12+ hours, then it's your duty to remember your responsibility and not let yourself get distracted. If you fail in this I think the poor man has every justification for muttering under his breath at your ineptitude. He had the maturity to apologise for his brief spurt of irritation. Did the OP apologise for her navigation errors, I wonder?

Hes not my partner though

OP posts:

FishFingerSandwichs · 01/02/2026 17:19

NotAtMyAge · 01/02/2026 17:16

I can tell you the research shows that partners showing contempt to one another is virtually a guarantee that the relationship won't last.

Mild irritation is a world away from contempt. I've read this thread with increasing bemusement at how precious so many people seem to be in their relationships nowadays. If you agree to navigate while your partner drives for a whole 12+ hours, then it's your duty to remember your responsibility and not let yourself get distracted. If you fail in this I think the poor man has every justification for muttering under his breath at your ineptitude. He had the maturity to apologise for his brief spurt of irritation. Did the OP apologise for her navigation errors, I wonder?

Agree with this

the title thread is misleading

he didn’t snap at OP he expressed frustration out loud after having to navigate exiting motorway with no notice after a 30 minute detour and another mistake I believe

I think I would have grabbed the map and said I’ll do it myself with a lot more swearing in between

Beatriz85 · 01/02/2026 17:18

Was this actually a snap?

Frauhubert · 01/02/2026 17:18

Peacefullbliss · 01/02/2026 16:34

Btw a lot of women on here give me the ick acting like they are constantly right.
Clairs law - just because he muttered the F word.
He snapped at me could be a sign of abuse.
Honestly its all getting stupid.
On a different thread someone thinks its rude to have the word weird said.

Stop the planet and let me get the fuck off.

Edited to add a grown woman using the word ewww is ick your not 4.

Edited

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yawn