New boyfriend snapped at me

I think you got off lightly. My DH is useless at directions, drives me insane.

I'm realizing it must be a cultural thing. Boyfriend to me doesn't sound at all teenagerish and could apply to a man of any age. My now husband was my boyfriend when he was in his 40's, then he became my fiancé and now of course he's my husband.

Tbh also this. I've dumped guys before simply because after a month or so I still felt I was getting the 'brand image' rather than the real version of them. If you aren't prepared to let me see who you are then I'm not interested in wasting my time waiting... that would give me the ick faster than a frustrated fuck sake in fair circumstances.

Yeah maybe it's a cultural difference - I'm in the UK and I remember my dad calling his 'girlfriend' his partner which would have been about 30 years ago now.

Yep, I'm 47 this month and it's really common within my friendship groups.

Cant remeber tbh. But he was 57 then so boyfriend seems a bit teenagerish

I'm in my 50's. If any of my friends are dating someone exclusively but they haven't yet moved to a more committed relationship they absolutely would call them their boyfriend! Maybe it's a regional thing. I'm in the US. I don't think I actually know anyone who has a partner. I know people who have husbands/wives/fiancés/fiancées/boyfriends and girlfriends, but I can't think of anyone else I know who describes their romantic interest in any other way.

Well, yeah, that's my point. You've been in a 10 year relationship so partner seems to me to be the perfect descriptor. Did you call him your partner after 3 months?

Yeah mid 50s here I dont live with my partner but we have been in a 10 year relationship. Not unusual

It's quite common, especially amongst those of us 40+ because calling someone generally our age or older a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' is infantilising. So partner gets used instead.

I've learned something new today. I have never in my 50+ years heard anyone refer to someone as their partner unless they were in a long term relationship (and in fact, usually living together, possibly sharing kids).

I really can't stand it when people say they will direct me because this is par for the course, they are always late at least once with their instructions about when to turn etc . I always use a sat nav and/or map and rely on myself to get somewhere and just generally refuse this situation unless it is a very short drive

The other thing is that you said you would not do this as you would not want to make someone feel bad. I can only tell you that I do this sort of thing and it is primarily because I am thinking about myself and not thinking about someone else, so it is in effect quite selfish. However it is also pretty human to not think of others much when you are feeling very emotional. I'd say you are much more empathetic than the norm if you always prioritise other's feelings over your own negative ones. Many many people, particularly men, but also women (ie me) do sometimes express themselves verbally when annoyed or irritated without a lot of thought for how others might feel about that vocalisation.

It does not make him abusive but it might make him not right for you if you find it upsetting. He is a new boyfriend but if has a tendency to express his (often reasonable) irritation in a verbal way and you don't like that and it upsets you, please do remember that he might be able to do it a bit less but he is unlikley to completely change for you. Some feel feel more irritated than others do, they can't help a lot of that and he may find it hard to always hide that from you

I personally prefer to know if someone is irrittated than have them hide it from me because I might get upset but that is me. You are entitled to have what you want/need in a partner. Remember that

It's my post they quoted and it was in response to someone who asked whether I'd expect to be called incompetent if I'd made as many mistakes in my job as OP had in her role as navigator. And why I would think that and what I'd have done differently.

I didn't start the comparison to a job, but the post makes sense if you read the whole quote history.

Complete bollocks and terrible analogy. OP is a new girlfriend not his employee.

This

Wondering if where ever they were doesn't have as good coverage for signal as here, as they said they weren't in the UK.

I meant phone for satnav. Don't most people use Google maps or Waze on their phones instead of a dedicated satnav these days? I think you knew what I meant.

I think it odd that he didn't have the route on display. I like to see my route as well as hear directions.

Why do you assume he had one? I don't.. i use my phone. And sometimes the person in the passenger seat is using theirs and giving directions.

Sounds like he was more frustrated with the situation than with you. Unless he snaps at you often for minor things I'd let it slide this once. Maybe explain to him you didn't like it & ask him not to do it again.

This is nothing to do with misogyny.

It is about a tired and frustrated driver relying on a poor navigator.

I don't believe that anyone getting tired on a long drive would not become frustrated at the navigator getting it wrong, especially if it adds an extra half hour on to the journey.

Why on earth didn't the driver have his satnav in use?

I think actually nearly everyone has said that her lack of perfection is what prompted his... and if she doesn't like being 'ffs' at then she should try giving him the correct directions in a timely manner... and that his annoyance was understandable in the circumstances.

They were both lacking on this occasion, and he apologised.

Still not seeing the misogyny.

FTR.. i actually said it was an absolute nothing event and not worth 200 (now nearly 500) posts navel gazing about a 'ffs' in a slightly fraught moment that was apologised for.

Oh for goodness sake this is a silly reply.

Without being there OP it's hard to say, depends on if you were messing about and not keeping your eye on the ball or if you were focused but it was complicated. If he was happily chatting away then he didnt see you being distracted as much of an issue.

But it sounds like disrespect - if it continues I would end it quickly. I would make clear that I won't be spoken to like that though.

People make mistakes - there's no need to be rude, snap, swear, lose tempers etc just don't be a dick

Erm...no...YOU started with the job analogy, if you don't think they're comparable, don't compare them in the first place. You asked if I'd expect to be called incompetent if I made mistakes in my job and that's what I answered.

And I have those skills anyway, I've used them to GET my job and become good at it. I don't stop having those skills when I leave work for the day.

And why couldn't OP have thought things through when the app started lagging, rather than ignoring that, chatting and then continuing to make mistakes in direction giving? If she had thought for a second about what the problems were she could have found a solution instead of being mad that it caused problems and irritation elsewhere.

If she couldn't think of a solution to the problem in front of her, communication with her boyfriend would have meant he a) understood the issue and b) could have ALSO thought of solutions.

I'm glad you're not involved in my ability to do my job, because you have zero understanding of problem solving or where people may need to improve themselves!

So he apologised after , and it was a 12 hour drive? You should have included that in the op.
Maybe swap next time and you do the exhausting extremely long drive.