AIBU or is this understandable?

Surely as godmother to one of the children, you don't mention which, you'd be happy to take them out/spend time with them.

Nooo. I disagree....
I think she sounds absolutely frazzled and like shes nothing thinking straight / struggling (very understandably) to keep the train on the track.

She was thinking of you

she didn’t want you to be subjected to three young children who were unsettled and very needy of her

She took three children, including a 6 month old baby, on holiday to another country and didn’t leave the hotel? It sounds like she may have been in a bit of a state. At 6 months PP with my second baby I probably could have done anything as normal. But with my first, I had some sort of post partum anxiety or depression or whatever it was - I was a total mess until about 9 months PP I reckon.

She could very easily be suffering badly and be able to hide it relatively well - I know I did. Making over ambitious plans and then finding myself unable to fulfil them in any way whatsoever reminds me of myself when I had PPD.

I’d be willing to bet she was having quite a bad time and didn’t feel up to visitors. Perhaps she just didn’t feel able to show you that she was struggling - it’s often really hard to admit you’re suffering post partum as it feels like you’re failing at the one thing that matters most to you.

YANBU to be disappointed but I think it would be mean spirited to hold it against her when the evidence clearly points to a woman who had good intentions but is struggling.

Because it's all about you and what you want with zero empathy or understanding for your friend. I know you've said a few times you send gifts, that is not having understanding or empathy.

Being godmother isn't just about being friends with her mother FFS

Unless you think she was lying about her kid and actually just blanking you because she had loads of better stuff to do I can't understand why you'd be angry/ upset with her?

Do you think she wanted/ enjoyed spending time in a hotel with three little kids who were acting up. That sounds hellish!

So have you been off with her since then? Are you going to raise this with her?

or are you just going to move on and message that you look forward to getting together with her asap

I have three ND kids. My ability to sustain friendships in the way I did pre-DC has been shot to hell. A few of my friendships have survived it, but I get cut A LOT of slack by those people. I am no longer actively friends with many of my friends who did not have DC at all because the gulf of life experience is so incredibly wide. (There are a few exceptions.)

I'm not saying her kids are ND but having kids is WAY HARDER than you ever imagine and kid number 3 might be tipping her over the edge.

I get why you are disappointed OP with how things panned out, but I would absolutely not be taking it personally, I would read it as 100% she is having a beyond shit time of epic proportions.

Self centred because you don’t seem to fully grasp her situation. Three very young children including a baby - plans change at the drop of a hat

It’s tough being a mother and it’s even tougher when the kids don’t behave as you’d like them to.

It’s disappointing you didn’t see your friend but I think she did the best she could and did intend to meet you, it just couldn’t happen this time.

You probably should

You clearly don't like her

I'm sorry to say it because I know it's irritating to hear, but I wouldn't have really understood this before I had children either, but I do now.

I expect, if anything, she's even more gutted than you that she couldn't slip off for an hour or two to catch up. She's evidently really tried to rearrange and then texted to apologise when it couldn't happen so I'd say she really did try.

If her toddler was being that much of a handful you'd have had absolutely no opportunity to catch up even if she'd managed to manhandle everyone out of the door as she'd be managing whatever meltdown was occurring in public and while you looked on. Her stress levels (and potentially that of her children, who knows?) would have risen and risen. And honestly, I expect you'd be on here complaining about how she was when you met up with her (e.g. that she never managed to listen to a complete sentence from you about how you are, and you seemed to be expected to be very hands on with these children you don't know).

My advice is to swallow your disappointment and give her some grace. Better luck next time!

She had her hands full. Big time. She wanted to see you but when the time came - she couldn’t swing it.

You sound really self centred and absolutely clueless about the realities of parenting.

It doesn't sound as if she didn't want to meet you, it sounds as if she couldn't.
YANBU to be disappointed, YABU to blame her.

Yes, and it doesn’t sound like she was falling over herself to invite you to the hotel.