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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this was rude!!

129 replies

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 13:47

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

OP posts:
KittyHigham · 01/02/2026 16:58

5128gap · 01/02/2026 16:35

I'd be preening if someone said that to me. However, unless they lived in a bin with their bar set accordingly, i feel its unlikely.
She's saying your home is lovely, clean and well kept. It's a nice thing.

How do you get "your home is lovely, clean and well kept" from what she actually said which was:

"Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!! no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

Original poster
Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 16:54

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 01/02/2026 16:20

Oh OP. One day you’ll actually have something to worry about 🤣🤣

  1. What makes you think im worrying about this?
  2. What make you think i have no other worries?
OP posts:
singthing · 01/02/2026 16:54

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 14:22

Please do explain how a house can be more than clean and tidy…

Show quote history

I would say it is a house that looks like nobody real actually lives there. There is no sign of human life - not even a stray coaster or a remote control on the coffee table; or a mug on the draining board in the kitchen.

It's the sort of house where you feel like an accidental sneeze would see a Monsters Inc type hazmat crew descend on you, but seriously, not cute cartoon characters.

KittyHigham · 01/02/2026 16:51

Of course it's rude.
I wouldn't make any comment about another person's level of tidiness/untidiness cleanliness/uncleanliness ever. It's none of my business. And I can't think of a single context in which using the word "weird" is complimentary.

The OP isn't wailing in a corner or threatening to bar the relative from her home, she's just expressing surprise that someone thinks its ok to pass judgemental comments. And I agree with her. It's not a compliment, it's a backhanded compliment i.e. an insult.

5128gap · 01/02/2026 16:35

I'd be preening if someone said that to me. However, unless they lived in a bin with their bar set accordingly, i feel its unlikely.
She's saying your home is lovely, clean and well kept. It's a nice thing.

Charlize43 · 01/02/2026 16:33

They just seem like throw away comments... although MN is the place where people rush over to clutch their pearls, metaphorically speaking.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 01/02/2026 16:20

Oh OP. One day you’ll actually have something to worry about 🤣🤣

Happyjoe · 01/02/2026 16:12

Backhanded complement. Don't sweat it!

Aussiesgettingsmashed · 01/02/2026 16:11

Blasphemous and rude. That woman needs an etiquette lesson.

Skippinglightly · 01/02/2026 16:05

Scruffs have to think that hygienic people are weird, otherwise they would have to look at their own standards.

Uhghg · 01/02/2026 16:04

Gently, you seem quite sensitive.

I always say his tidy someone’s home is, even if it’s not that tidy.

She may be a massive bitch who hates you but more likely she was just trying to compliment you.
I’ll often call a friend a bitch for looking so hot or say things like I wish I looked like you at 9 months pregnant when I’m not even pregnant - not literal things and a compliment without being too over the top.

SnipThoseApronStrings · 01/02/2026 15:58

It's not really rude. You could say the word weird maybe could be substituted. It sounds like you house is uncommonly clean and she cannot visualise yours as a living space.

NoSoupForU · 01/02/2026 15:48

No it isn't rude. It's weird that you've clung onto a throwaway comment.

Strawberrryfields · 01/02/2026 15:46

It is a bit rude to say it out loud but I’d secretly think it too. Find it a bit odd and awkward being in houses where it feels like no one lives there.

BunnyLake · 01/02/2026 15:37

I wouldn’t have said it was weird, I’d have said I was jealous. She sounds like the sort of person who doesn’t have much subtlety about her.

PeoniesAreMyFavouriteFlowers · 01/02/2026 15:32

Not rude.

Seacatt · 01/02/2026 15:30

I think she is rude.

Frugalgal · 01/02/2026 15:29

Whatsmyusername85 · 01/02/2026 13:47

I’m going to keep it short and sweet, I live close to another family member. Said family member had their sister over today, she visits often enough. Sometimes she pops over to say hi, I don’t mind this at all. I love a visitor. So she calls over and I’m offering her a cup of tea. She turns and says “Jesus do you actually live here or what? This place is way too tidy and clean!!” Just laughed and said “well you know me I love being organised etc” she said “no seriously though, like nothing is ever out of place it’s weird!”

AIBU to think this was rude!! I mean think it all you want but there’s no need to say it like that!!

I wouldn't be bothered, in fact I would love if someone said that to me. Never gonna happen!
I know someone who overuses the word weird - she uses it about her own kids, any random thing that isn't her is described as weird. I even found myself saying it after time in her company about things that weren't weird at all.

It's a backhanded compliment.

BernadetteJune · 01/02/2026 15:23

It was a compliment!

Sparklesandspandexgallore · 01/02/2026 15:19

I think it is rude.
It’s one thing to be complimentary and say how clean someone’s house is. It’s quite another to call someone weird for keeping their house clean.

EdithBond · 01/02/2026 15:14

YANBU

The way they said it was judgmental.

We all live how we choose and in a way that suits us. Unless it’s affecting the safety, health or well-being of the household or neighbours, it should be of no one else’s concern.

It’s quite possible they said it because they were actually judging themselves against your standards. Then justified their way of living by suggesting yours was strange.

If you’re happy with how you live, I wouldn’t let it bother you.

Worriedmummya · 01/02/2026 15:14

Basquervill · 01/02/2026 14:06

I had a friend who overused the word ‘weird’. She used it as applicable to anything that wasn’t her. I did notice this and get tired of it. It wasn’t rude, just unimaginative, I think.

My In-Laws are exactly like that!! Liking ketchup in your burger (because they only like mayo), having tea or coffee with your breakfast (because they only have it after), having chicken pasta (because they only have it with bell peppers), having garlic butter in your jacket potato, or brushing your teeth after a shower not before is all weird!

SedatedSloth · 01/02/2026 15:13

I'd take it as a compliment. I'd be really chuffed if someone said my home was so clean it was weird! That's highly unlikely to happen...

Berlinlover · 01/02/2026 15:13

I can’t believe you started a thread about this.

AnnieLummox · 01/02/2026 15:12

Yes, it was rude to say “weird”. There are some thoughts that should stay just that!

I admit that I find clinically clean homes a bit much. I always think worrying about a teaspoon being left on the drainer or a drawer not being perfectly organised isn’t really any healthier than being lazy about housework. But I do recognise that part of it is envy that I’m not closer to that end of the spectrum!